Chapter 5: Unworthy

Su Jiamei's pupils widened involuntarily as she stared in astonishment at Lin Jie, who passed by her once more. She watched his figure, which appeared inexplicably pitiful under the night's shadow.

Su Jiamei opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but Lin Jie, who had always silently followed behind her, was now ahead of her... he did not wait or slow his pace.

A sense of emptiness enveloped her, as if something had vanished from behind her.

"Lin Jie!"

Their residential area was old, so Su Jiamei's voice easily reached Lin Jie's ears.

Just as her laughter had done moments ago, their mirthful tones resonated clearly and loudly.

Lin Jie stopped in his tracks, his back turned to her, slightly inclining his head toward the darkness ahead, his brow furrowing in thought.

What was he doing now… What was he about to do?

He recalled… Lin Jie had intended to confess his feelings tonight, using the bouquet of roses he had just discarded.

But now… Lin Jie's heart ached with waves of pain. He could endure it, though it was far from the unbearable anguish he had felt before.

The discomfort bordered on despair.

"Hm? What's wrong?"

Lin Jie turned around, his expression serene as he gazed at Su Jiamei. He smiled gently and said, "You know, the college entrance exams are approaching. Perhaps you should be more mindful of your time."

He looked at Su Jiamei, examining her face with an intensity he had rarely shown before, and smiled softly.

Lin Jie was timid, rarely meeting her gaze directly. But now, he gathered the courage to truly look at her.

"I… I… Lin Jie, were those flowers… meant for someone?"

Su Jiamei raised her eyes to Lin Jie but quickly averted her gaze, feeling a pang of guilt. She bit her lip and, glancing down at her toes, asked softly.

Some questions did not require answers. Lin Jie, after a moment of contemplation, chose not to answer her inquiry. Instead, he said, "It's quite late. Will your mother be upset with you?"

"I told her I'd be out…"

"Mm, get some rest."

"Lin Jie…"

"I'm a bit tired. I've waited for you for too long," Lin Jie said, smiling back at her.

Fearing that Su Jiamei might not understand, Lin Jie pointed toward the distant entrance of the residential area and added, "I waited there for several hours."

"I'm sorry…"

As Lin Jie vanished around the corner of the stairs, Su Jiamei muttered an apology quietly… He surely didn't hear it, and even if he did, it seemed devoid of meaning or sincerity.

Su Jiamei glanced at the trash bin, where the vibrant roses still stood out under the dim light. Staring at the vivid red, she suddenly felt a lump in her throat.

She coughed a couple of times, attributing her discomfort to the effects of alcohol. She lightly tapped her forehead in frustration.

The sense of panic that had inexplicably overwhelmed her began to fade. Su Jiamei tilted her head slightly, gazing up at the night sky… The moon was full, and the stars were beautiful.

Everything seemed so perfect. She cupped her hands and gently breathed into them, then thought… perhaps she should find the right moment to explain things to Lin Jie.

Su Jiamei had never truly believed Lin Jie was just an infatuated admirer… She simply found it amusing, which was why she hadn't argued.

Lin Jie didn't seem particularly upset, Su Jiamei thought.

He liked her, so the minor things she had done would remain just that—minor—and would not affect their relationship.

"Well, I'll apologize another time. Perhaps I'll invite him for a meal," Su Jiamei murmured, then headed upstairs. As she passed Lin Jie's door, she hesitated, ultimately deciding not to apologize properly today.

"There will be many more opportunities."

Lin Jie knew she would never explain herself to him.

Because Su Jiamei didn't need to care about his feelings; she was the one loved, and those who are loved often act without fear.

He smiled wryly to himself. If she truly cared about him, she wouldn't have pushed him away for someone else… nor would she have become upset over someone else's presence.

Perhaps it wasn't fair to say that. Lin Jie, feeling lost, slumped onto the sofa in the living room, overwhelmed by an indescribable sadness. The image that haunted him was always of that boy affectionately touching Su Jiamei's head.

Maybe, Lin Jie thought, he himself was the outsider.

She was unwilling to explain anything to him, even to knock on his door.

Lin Jie couldn't comprehend how the gentle girl he remembered, clad in a cute cartoon T-shirt, could utter such words to him.

Lin Jie could accept failure, but he never imagined he would lose so thoroughly.

A heartfelt narrative concluded with such a perfunctory end.

Lin Jie picked up his phone, staring at the numerous messages marked with red dots, never before realizing how glaring the color could be. He had never felt so exhausted.

"Jie Ge, how did it go?"

Zhao Yan's voice messages came one after another, brimming with belief in Lin Jie's success, each message carrying an air of smug anticipation and urging Lin Jie to confirm so he could celebrate the next day.

As Lin Jie listened, he suddenly began to smile, though the smile soon faltered as his vision blurred. After a long silence, he sent three words in response.

"I'm unworthy."

Even a fool could discern the meaning behind the roses, yet Su Jiamei remained oblivious.

She chose silence.

Silence, as good as a refusal.

A refusal… So be it.

Lin Jie lay on the sofa, extending his hand and watching his fingers… What if he continued to care in the future?

Then he would pretend not to care, until one day he truly didn't.

Lin Jie had rarely lost composure in front of Su Jiamei, but this solitary lapse made her, slightly tipsy, feel discontent.

Lin Jie's behavior unsettled her.

In the end, her actions, which she would regret deeply in the future, caused this declaration of feelings to end in vain.