3.18

Hannah feels as if she is stuck in some kind of cupid, when a warning honk sounds, and she jumps back at the last moment, avoiding the oncoming car. The driver of the black "Audi" gets out of the car and yells at her, telling her to keep her eyes open. She only humbly bows, whispering a silent "sorry."

She still can't recover from last night, when she started reading Solar's diary in the company of Mariah and Bella. She can't understand what made the phantom so angry? Could it be that she doesn't want anyone else to see the entries?

Why should only Hannah know the truth regarding her death?

The brunette squats on a bench, lowers her head and stares at the sidewalk, contemplating the entries, which she read alone when she said goodbye to her girlfriends, claiming to feel bad. They were disappointed, but also worried and even wanted to stay with her, but Hannah said she was an adult and could handle it. They didn't insist any longer and just left her alone.

Eleventh entry.

How is it that I don't feel bad about the thought of being kissed by the boy I want, thereby stabbing Johnny in the heart? Do I even care a little about him? I don't know... probably not. I'm selfish because the smile doesn't leave my face when I think about Jin. I ignore the boy who loves me, not caring that he will suffer when he finds out that behind his back I am dating another.

Am I not acting like one of those popular girls? It seems to me that the whole school is talking about me. I have no doubt that it's for Jin's sake. The schoolgirls envy me and are probably tearing their hair out, contemplating how to humiliate me.

Today he secretly handed me a card announcing that tomorrow he will take me to a place I am sure to like.

Is this our first date?

Twelfth entry.

Jin is sometimes cool towards me, keeping me at a distance, even though the other day he kissed me at the cafeteria, but I'm not worried about it. I'm happy because with small steps, I'm getting closer to him. We talk, I feel more and more confident in his company, even though he still intimidates me.

A smile continually appears on my face, all I have to do is look at him and the corners of my mouth automatically lift. I'm sure this is love. Why do I suppose so? Because I don't feel it with Johnny. There is no chemistry between us, why am I even with him?

So far, I have not been able to spend good time with him, and today just an hour with Jin was enough to make me feel happy.

I finally made it to heaven.

Thirteenth entry.

My heavenly happiness turned into hellish despair when I was grabbed by the hair on the field. My face is all scrunched up because I was accosted by a whacked-out bitch who announced that she would deprive me of my eyes if I took any more interest in her guy. I tried to talk to her, but nothing was getting through to her. Students watched this with amusement on their faces, someone ran for the teacher, but she did not react at all. I was afraid that this incalculable bitch would kill me.

Before the teacher appeared, she stopped when she heard Jin's voice. He addressed her in a harsh tone, telling her to stop making a laughingstock of herself. She reached out to him, trying to reason with him, but he merely lowered his head, looked her in the eye and with a smile on his face, whispered these words:

"Tell me ... since when are we in a relationship? I am entitled to date another girl, at least she is not as tiresome as you."

He burned her. I saw her tighten her lips in anger, looking like a ticking bomb. It exploded the moment he walked up to me and put his arm around me.

"I will finish you off, bitch. You'll die like a dog!" she shouted those words in my direction as she headed for the gate. I looked at Jin and saw that he was following her with his eyes, but there was no anger in his eyes, but rather adoration. When she disappeared, he let go of me and just walked into the school.

I don't understand his behavior. He has been a walking mystery to me from the very beginning, and I think that makes me even more attracted to him.

Fourteenth entry.

This girl is sharply knackered. I don't know how she convinced the peers at my school to teach me a lesson, but they really did. They got me in the bathroom, kicking me all over my body, repeating that I should leave Jin alone. They claimed that he was only fit for a beautiful girl like Danielle. They called me trash, and I didn't tell anyone about it.

Pained, I locked myself in my room, lying and trying to conceal the truth from my roommate, but she didn't let go and dragged every detail out of me. I asked her not to report it to anyone, so she decided to be the one to show them where the fuck she was growing.

Halsey is really a wonderful person. It's difficult to get close to her, but if someone manages to do so, you can thank the heavens that you have a person by your side who will always extend a helping hand.

Fifteenth entry.

Today I wanted to ask Jin about the relationship between him and Danielle. It bounced about my ears that in the future this girl is to become his sister, since their parents are planning to get married. If there is actually any feeling between them, their relationship has no chance of surviving anyway.

On the one hand, I am afraid of this. I can see that he is interested in me, but living under one roof with a girl for whom he may still have feelings? That's impossible. Only one of us can win, but I'm worried because Danielle has an advantage. She is beautiful, she has character, and more importantly, she has Jin at her fingertips. The only downside for her is their parents' relationship....

How can I beat this crazy bitch?

Sixteenth entry.

I didn't think it would work, but I'm getting along better and better with Jin. Occasionally, I think I see him as a cold person who isn't concerned about the feelings of others; however, he masks himself by trying to be good. I don't know if he is just pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, yet I adore him more and more. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like I'm obsessed with him. Seriously.

I'm losing myself more and more in my feelings for him, but how does he take it?

Hannah looks with sad eyes at the boy accompanying her, her hands embracing the tea cup from which steam is rising. He can see that the girl is in a bad mental state, her gaze even begs for help, although she does not say it out loud.

— My life is collapsing, Taylor. It's getting worse — she announces quietly, even in a whisper, lowering her gaze to her teacup. — Joseph ignores my calls, doesn't speak to me. I'm afraid this is the end of our relationship. He has a difficult character, he is relentless. My heart breaks when I think about the fact that he won't want to fight for our relationship, that he's fed up with me and what's going on around us.

Taylor tightens his lips in anger.

— Stop thinking about him, Hannah. Can't you see that it's killing you? You look like a wreck of a man! — he says in a raised voice.

— And how am I supposed to look if my happy life is turning into hell? Everything is falling apart. I can't sleep at night. I walk around semi-conscious, not noticing anything happening around me. — Her voice is pained.

— So get on your feet, damn it! — Taylor clenches his fists, though his gaze is thoughtful. — You're already in such a state that you'll be finished shortly!

She swallows her saliva harder, feeling tears gathering under her eyelids.

— I'm already in such a state that when I have to get out of bed in the morning, I want to cry. I don't feel like leaving the house, at times I don't even want to live....

The brunet opens his eyes wider and, without thinking, grabs her hand, squeezing it tightly. She pays no attention to this, still looking at one point.

— I will not let you lose the will to live because of this idiot!

— But he's not the only reason! — she jumps on him, with the top of her hand wiping the tears from her cheeks. — Perhaps I suffer the most because of him, but it seems to me that at times I am not myself, that someone is taking control of my body.

The boy looks terrified.

— What are you talking about?

— I... I have been in contact with a ghost for seven years. Ever since I came to the boarding school, something bad has been happening to me. I have the feeling that she is controlling me. There are times when I do something, and I don't remember it at all! Lately, I've been having depressive states and I can't fight it. In high school, I also went through this. There were times when I acted like I wasn't myself. Now it's the same.

Taylor closes his eyelids, being disturbed by her words.

— Hannah...

— Just don't tell me I'm crazy and have a mental relapse. Everyone tries to tell me that, but what if I've never been sick? What if I was really possessed by a suicidal spirit because I was fierce and didn't leave that room even though everyone warned me? Everyone who knew her says she was the one with the head problems. There was a reason why there were rumors about her being able to possess a person, making her lose her sanity!

— I really would like to believe you, but do you know how that sounds? Looking at you, I get the impression that you need the help of a psychiatrist! And you require it immediately!

— Why doesn't anyone believe me? Why is everyone trying to make me believe that I'm sick?

— I'm sorry to say this, but a sane person will not believe your words. No one in their right mind will believe that you are in contact with a vengeful spirit.

The girl closes her eyelids, from under which tears flow.

— She was right...

— What?

— She warned me that in such a situation I would find out who really cares about me.

The boy wrinkles his eyebrows, watching her pale face.

— What are you talking about?

— About the fact that you should fall, moron. — Hannah lifts her face and looks at the angry face of Jimmy, who is standing at their table, accompanied by an unknown girl.

The blond man grabs the brunette's hand and forcibly pulls her from her chair.

— Who are you? Why are you treating her like this? — Taylor faces him, ready to defend his friend.

— I'm her boyfriend's best friend and I won't let you mess with her head. Your eyes betray what your intentions are towards her. Don't even try to take advantage of the crisis in her relationship by playing good friend. — Hannah is surprised by Jimmy's behavior. This is the first time he has acted this way. — Forgive me, honey, but currently she is more important than you," he turns to the accompanying blonde, then leads Hannah outside.

— What are you doing, Jimmy?

— I'm sick of watching you and Joseph ruin your relationship!

He lets her go when they are near his car.

— And what am I supposed to do when he doesn't take calls from me at all? You know how fierce he is! I'm suffering because of him!

— He suffers more, Hannah! — screams her face, drawing the attention of passersby. — Lately, he is constantly sitting in the bar and getting drunk to the point of unconsciousness! His father rebels him against you, repeating that you are just like his mother and that you are destroying him! In addition, he constantly thinks about the past, and it's because of you! You opened a chapter that he managed to close long ago! — The brunette looks concerned by his words. — Joseph is strong and plays the tough guy, but you know him and you know that inside he gets weak when he suffers because of the person he cares about.

— So what should I do? How am I supposed to contact him when he rejects calls from me?

— Do you have legs? Great! Use them and ambush him at home, where he is just curing his hangover!

— But... I've never been there because of his father. I'm afraid of that place," she says in a weak voice, looking terrified.

— So finally show that you are strong and stop hiding behind Joseph's back!

His words are painful, but true.

— Then take me to him, Jimmy.

Hannah pays no attention to Taylor, who is standing in front of the café, watching the girl get into the car. The brunet tightens his lips in anger, hiding his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

*

The girl takes a deep breath as she stands in front of a luxurious house that resembles a palace in size and appearance. The square is guarded by an automatically opening gate, and there is a sizable fountain in the middle.

— Are you sure his father is not at home? — she turns to Jimmy, who is fed up with her frightened eyes and grabs her hand, leading her to the entrance. — What if someone else reports to him about my visit?

— Fuck! Be quiet already.

He always throws out all his anger, not caring about the other person's reaction.

The door is opened for them by an elderly woman, who smiles at the sight of them. From her face she looks very friendly, and her eyes become happier as she walks up to Hannah and puts her hands on her shoulders.

— You are as beautiful as the urchin described you. I'm happy to finally be able to see you.

Hannah guesses that this is a housekeeper with whom Joseph has a good relationship. He has said many times that this woman replaces his mother.

The brunette smiles at her cheerfully.

— Thank you.

The woman leads her to Joseph's room.

Jimmy cleverly takes advantage of this and runs into the kitchen, feeling at home.

The girl carefully looks around her, admiring the richly decorated interior. Although she herself comes from a wealthy family, her mother's house is three times smaller.

Walking up the stairs, she looks at the hanging paintings. The entire decor makes an electrifying impression on her.

— Here it is. Don't let the darkness of this place scare you — the housekeeper turns to her, pointing to the door, which is decorated with a corpse skull, warning that going inside risks imminent death. — I think he will never agree to renovate this room.

Walking away, he winks at the girl.

Hannah takes a deep breath and puts her hand on the doorknob, pressing it in one firm motion. She steps inside and tries to strain her eyes as she closes the door behind her. It's so dark that she can't see anything in front of her. She stumbles over something hard lying on the floor, but fortunately lands on a soft mattress.

— I'll rip your head off, Jimmy, if it's you again," Joseph speaks in a sleepy voice.

— It's me. I'm sorry I woke you up.

A deafening silence falls in the room. Joseph is surprised when he turns on the light and notices Hannah sitting next to him.

— What are you doing here?

— What do you think? You don't answer calls from me, I can't sleep at night because I'm worried about our relationship.

She looks at his pale, tired face, noticing that he is suffering as much as she is.

— A relationship? What is a relationship if it lacks trust? Love alone is not enough.

— Joseph, don't start!

— I'd rather suffer being away from you than suffer with you.

The girl tries to stop the tears coming to her eyes, looking at the rod she gave him a few years ago for Christmas. The devil is still hanging on the branch, but it is difficult to see, as it blends with the wall painted black.

— Do you want to end everything? Leave me? — she says in a muffled voice, trying not to burst out crying.

— I want to be away from you for a while.

— And I'm supposed to believe that it's because of the Solar case? Because I started reading the diary? I'm not an idiot, Joseph. Admit that it's your father's influence. He messes with your head.

The boy lowers his head, not saying a word.

— Do you think I believed you when you said you came to an understanding with your father? After one meeting with him, I noticed that it is impossible to get along with this man.

— I just need some time to think things over! — he exclaims unexpectedly, but does not look her in the eye. With his gaze wanders around the room. — Anyway... give me all the peace and quiet! — He adds, then walks out of the room, leaving her alone.

Hannah is devastated. She begins to see everything in dark colors, darker than this room.