Chapter 1

I look at the time waiting for my girl to come home to seeing that it is 2 am. Why has she been coming home late recently?

No fucking reply. I stare down at the ring box and thought back to it then looked to the roses I put around the house. The sweet scented candles have already died down since they've been up for so long. But yesterday meant something special, to me at least, it was our anniversary and this time I was going to pop the question. So what did I turn to alcohol and weed, I am stressed, she would've told me if she is coming home or not coming home at all until the next day. I went to the fridge and got out a bottle of whiskey then settled it down on the counter to get to the freezer to take out some ice. I got some ice and placed it in a glass flask to pour whiskey but just left the bottle on the counter so I can head back to the living room with my drink in my hand.

"Why is she behaving like this now?"I sat down on the couch and switched on the TV to family guy whilst downing my whiskey feeling the sadness and hurt get to me. I grabbed my weed box to the right of me and took out the things I need to bill me a zoot. Once I was done I hit the joint feeling the smoke enter my lungs, calming me down. However, I still haven't heard a reply from her. I could cheat on her but I choose not to, I stayed loyal to her and my words. But it's just that it's becoming frequent ever since I was introduced the fucker, I don't know why Sarah even chills with him, I would see him try to flirt with her then try persuade us to do a threesome for the experience."I am sorry to bust your fucking bubbles but I am a lesbian, Sarah may be bi but she's taken."I make sure I fuck her goo but sometimes it feel like she misses being with men. Or maybe I just over-thinking. I need to smoke and drink more so I do it until I feel myself loose reality, feeling the drowsiness hit me. Thus I turn off the TV and grabbed the ring box so I can take it with me so I can get my money back, I've already finished the zoot and a whole bottle of whiskey but by the time I leave the living and was in the corridor I heard the door unlock behind me. It was 5 in the fucking morning and she comes now."Y/N!?""Sarah? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!" I yelled as I slurred my words."Y/n you're drunk and.. You're high as well.""Well I wouldn't be if you replied to my messages.""Well my phone died.""BULLSHIT, IT SAID DELIVERED."She looks down and around the house to see the decorations and the box in my hand."What's that for?""It's too late for that now, you've been gone all day, you've been coming home late, what next you're gonna be hooking up with someone el-"And that's when I saw it, the hickeys all over her neck down."Come here real quick.""N-""I said 'Come here"She came into the light and it was more visible to me.

"Who did this?"

"Did wh-""Don't even""No one, it's just a ra-"Then I got closer to her leading her to move backwards."Do not take me as a fool right now, you're the one that's sober from what I can see, but me being under influence doesn't mean I don't have EYES AND A FUCKING BRAIN."

I couldn't help myself but scream in her face. Being 5'9 comes with and advantage when being serious.

"Don't you fucking dare lie to me, it is as if I have never fucked you in my whole life, like I have never marked you.""Y/n I am sorry, things got out of han-""I didn't ask you for an apology. I ASKED who did it, it'll enough for you to tell me who you let mark you as it'll tell me who you've been with this whole time.""It... It was Jake."I fucking knew it.

"Get out my house."

"Why?!""Because you have clearly proven that you don't love me at all.""How do you even know that?""Look at you!""You're overreacting.""I am not even close to overreacting! OH IF YOU WANT TO OVERREACT I SHOULD SLAP THAT SHAMEFUL FACE OF YOURS! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!"She paused knowing that consequences were going to come. I wasn't going to lay a hand on her but kick her out."Why? What came to your mind to even thinking of dropping me out your heart."She stayed quiet then faced me and her response didn't faze me. Men would lie just to get pussy and she believed it.

"WHY?!! You're talking about why?! I should be asking you why?! WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVER DECIDED TO POP THE QUESTION BUT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT'S A PROBLEM, WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR YEARS AND NOT ONE MOMENT HAVE YOU SHOWN ME THAT YOU WANTED TO GO NEXT LEVEL! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!"

"LOOK AROUND THIS HOUSE, MY HOUSE. YOU SEE ALL OF THIS, DO YOU EVEN RECALL WHAT DAY WAS YESTERDAY?!! DO YOU SEE WHAT IS IN MY HAND?!"And she looked around again then looked back to my hand. Her eyes widened to the view of the box."Yeah, it's exactly what you think it is, exactly what you want that you looked into other people for."

"That 'will you marry me?' you wanted to hear was so close to happening till you blew you're only chance. Now get your used pussy out my house. Falling for the words of an idiot instead of your own GIRLFIREND."

I can see the tears build up in her eyes, my heart breaking to everything, the situation and her. But I can't be weak in this situation."You can get your stuff tomorrow, but now you have already found a new partner since I am no longer yours.""BUT Y/N!""ARE YOU MAD?! Don't you dare call me fucking name, I don't want to hear it off your tongue. Call your man and fuck off"I had to tell her Gordon Ramsey style to get it through her head but I guess this is the end of me and her now. No more Sarah.

I watched as Sarah left my house and get into Jake's car.

"For fuck sake."Dumb bitch. Well I did what I had to do. So I just went to my room and put the box in a drawer, I plan on selling it when I am not busy. I slowly feel the emotions sink in. I scream to the top of my lungs crying, feeling my heart being pierced, all those lies she told me. The fake love I endured, it wasn't real. Not one bit. I cry and cry letting my emotions get the best of me, I look around my room to see the pictures of me and Sarah. I know I wouldn't be able to sleep if they're still up so I took out the photos and ripped her out of them. I collected all the ripped pieces and put them into a bucket filled with water. I set them on fire, watching them burn ever so slowly. Watching the flames engulf them as tears stain my cheeks."Fuck her. Fuck relationships."I rather live my life with no bonds rather than making faulty ones. I burn them one by one, and when they're done I dropped them in the bucket until there was no more. I looked back to the memories of us and it just felt wrong, it didn't feel the same. But what can I do now? It's all done and I can't go back against my word, that'll just hurt me even more. Years just to be betrayed, I stayed loyal all those times but it seems like I can't expect that from everyone. It's just me in my world. It's just me. No one but me.In life I will have to lose people to get to the brighter stages of life, make sacrifices now to earn rewards later on in life. But now is how do I go from here?

"Argh, enough questions Imma just sleep, it's late."

So I just flopped my body on my bed and let the darkness take over me. Letting my tiredness flood my body and not fight back. At last peace. It felt like my body was floating as I was drifting off to sleep. Goodnight.After hours of sleeping my eyes open to the light affecting my SCN releasing more serotonin into my body causing me to wake up. I get up feel the after effects hit but today I just want to push it away, get everything over and done with. So what did I do? I got trash bags and filled them with Sarah's belongings then placed them at the front of the house. When I finished I decided to wash the depressed state off me. Allowing hot water to drench my body in the shower watching our memories fade to make space for more newer ones. I let the water hit my face as I hold back any irrational emotion showing. I don't want this. I don't want to dwell on her forever, I want to spend time with myself, enjoy time with myself. Understand the type of person I am in depth. I came to the end of my shower and did my usual routines.

"Back to square 1 I guess."

I changed into a oversized hoodie with some joggers then headed downstairs to kitchen to make breakfast. I got out cereal and milk then put it in a bowl. When my first step was done I put the bowl in the microwave as I like my cereal warm instead of cold. I set the timer to 1 minute and let the food heat up. I went back up to my room to get my phone and that's when I saw her messages. She was telling me that she was sorry, she regrets it and blah blah blah. I just left her on read since I couldn't be bother then texted my best friend Cassandra that I am now single since Sarah wants to cheat. Immediately Cassandra wanted to make sure that I was okay so I just told her that I am okay and explained everything to her. She told me that I did the right thing and to block her after she collects her things, also to collect the house key off her.After that whole conversation I went downstairs to get my breakfast, of which the microwave was letting off it's alarm saying it's finished. I got out my cereal and headed to the living room. I placed the bowl on the table and switched on the TV to the news. I began eating and that's when I heard the door open. This was followed shortly by a familiar male voice, fucking Jake, can't keep his dick to himself. He has to penetrate everything that has a hole. Dickhead.

"You alright there babe?"

I just want to twist his neck."Yeah I'm good, I am just going to miss this place."Liar. Fucking lies. Both are trying to make me feel bad but it will not work. So I just continued to eat my cereal and listen to the news and they had the audacity to come into the living room. Her things are in front of the door."Y/n, let's talk.""Let's not talk. You're here to collect Sarah's things and that is all. Not for a conversation.""Y/n Pl-""You are asking for my fist in your face. It seems like your brain hasn't been working recently, or should I help you get back into motion?""Hey!""Shut your fucking mouth, you're in my house for 1 thing now can you stop interrupting me and collect her things.""But-""I don't want to hear it."So they grabbed what they needed to get and just before they left I had to stop them."What?""The key."So she hesitantly gave the key to house and I shut the door in their face so I can continue eating and watching the news like nothing happened. However, I didn't want to stay at home all day so I decided to plan on going clubbing later, hopefully get some pussy by the end of the day and if not today then every time I go to the club.However, I didn't want to stay at home all day so I decided to plan on going clubbing later, hopefully get some pussy by the end of the day and if not today then every time I go to the club.

"Go to the club? That's actually a good idea."

Okay final decision, go to the club and enjoy my time. So, after I have finished eating my breakfast I decided to head off to work, yes I work. I am a full-time dancer, don't ask why but I enjoy it. I got to meet celebrities as well as perform on their shows. I went to my room to put on a sports bra then took my work bag with me before leaving the house. I'm still wearing the same joggers and hoodie, but I added black converses on to them to seem stylish. I left my house, locking the front door, heading for my car. Currently I drive a range rover, so I don't have issues picking up my crew. As I started my engine, I reminded myself to make sure I enjoy today, I can't be bothered to cry over some hoe.I began my journey to the dance studio, on the way there I was listening to music and an iconic song came on. It was ADCDEFU by Gayle."What a coincidence."I couldn't care any less of Sarah, but it is as if the universe wants me to get over her the slow way, see time waits for no one so I can't stop my progress for some bitch. Come on Y/n just forget it, focus on what is important! After 30 minutes of driving, I made it to the dance studio, I saw one of my co-workers waiting for me outside. I parked my car then headed for towards my friend."Hey bitch""Hey Rochelle. How's everything?""It's been good, u?""It's meh.""That's a new one, how did the proposal go?""There wasn't a proposal.""How come?"I let out a deep breathe and told Rochelle what happened. She hugged me and ensured me that everything will be fine, soon after we entered the studio and got to work. Being with the crew is fun, they know how to lift everyone's mood. We work together especially during dance classes; we hype each other up. Coming up with choreography was hard at first but it gets better, the more practice we do the better we turn out to be. In our hallways we have pictures of us with various of artists, from Chris Brown to Doja Cat. We've worked with a lot of Western artists, sometimes going on tours with them, but being in their music videos are stressful. We must meet the standards of the artists whilst understanding the meaning of the video and the music. Being diverse in this industry is a must but we end up with social solidarity.I love my crew. They are a second family to me. Time passed so fast that I didn't realise that it was the end of the day. Thankfully I didn't feel tired so I can go out today. For some reason I couldn't help but feel a certain excitement build to go clubbing, I mean it has been a while since I've been out like this. I helped my crew clean the studio before leaving."Y/n are you heading somewhere?""Yeah, I'm going clubbing tonight.""What's the special occasion?""There's none, but just tryna get some pussy.""Have fun, I am sleepy so see you tomorrow if you're not hungover""I'll try not to be.""Bye!""Bye!"I passed on my goodbyes to my crew before getting back to my car. I can't wait to shower; I am so sweaty and its hot outside. Just to clear everything up it's the evening, I still have a couple of hours left before heading to the nightclub. I have the chance to drop everything and enjoy myself. I just hope that there'll be some sexy women there. I felt myself drool at the thought but reminded myself to stay concentrated on the road. When 30 minutes passed, I made it home. I headed for the shower once I walked pass my front door. I got to my room and dropped everything, my bag, my clothes and etc. I showered for quite a long time, I couldn't help but to feel relieved that I didn't have to stress over anyone, that I can go out freely and not worry about a partner. That burden is no longer with me, I can now enjoy my time. I will celebrate the breakup, the day of independence for me! I decided to get something simple, a large loose white top and some blue jeans, after doing my routines after showering and put on my clothes. I couldn't be bothered to make my hair look fancy, so I just put it into one slick bun, I swooped my edges after giving them the desired look then soon I was finished. Shortly after I was setting up my bag, the very important bag. In there had my strap, some lube and other sex related things. I just wanted to have some fun and today feels like it's the day. After my bag was packed, I headed downstairs to put on my shoes then get my keys to get to the car. I wasn't planning on drinking but just enjoy my time. Usually, I would go to a bar dedicated to the LGBTQ+ community but I just couldn't be bothered to drive there, it was further away from my house compared to other clubs, and a new one just opened a couple months ago. It isn't a far drive, but the club looks fun, if I am not feeling it then I'm going home."It's time to go!"I couldn't help but feel more excitement build up, it feels like I am doing a sneaky thing. I exited my house then locked the front door. I got to my car and threw my bag in the back seat before making it to the driver's seat. The moment I put on my seatbelt and checked my mirror something inside me said it's Go time. I started the engine the made my way to the club.I would have music playing but for some reason I just wanted to focus on just driving and getting to my destination. After a 45-minute drive I finally made it there. To be honest the place didn't look bad. I parked my car and headed to the club. I can already hear the music booming. I walked in being greeted with lights flashing everywhere and the music making everything harder to hear. I look around to see crowds of people of the dancefloor, I wanted to locate the bar for some juice or water. Soon after looking I found it, my legs were just moving on their own since I started to feel quite nervous but tried to shake the feeling away. Just going step by step, I slowly felt more comfortable being here. I didn't get any weird looks to I got to be myself a lot more. I got to make it there to the bar and I asked the bartender just for some non-alcoholic drink. So, he just gave me orange juice."Anything special ma'am?""Nah, just to celebrate a breakup.""Are you sure you don't want alcohol?""Nope, not at all. I am driving and I just want to spend my time to celebrate my freedom.""Damn, it's like that? Was it toxic?""At the very end yeah, my girlfriend cheated.""Oh girlfriend? So, you're?""Lesbian, yeah I'm into females.""I guess you're here to get some girls""Correction I am searching for a woman.""A woman huh? If you don't want to dance, you can stay here to check out some Women then.""Thanks for the offer!"I sat drinking my juice watching the crowd, I couldn't help but bob my head to the song. However, I noticed that the dance floor has an uneven platform. There were even statues that people were dancing on. But there was on woman who caught my eye."Holy shit."She was moving her hips to the music as sway with me came on. Her platinum-coloured hair moving with her body. Her skirt hugging her wide hips and thick thighs. I felt myself getting turned on by her slowly, but her appearance is very attracting."She could be straight, Y/n She could be straight."But I can show her the other side, the 'dark side'. She looks like she would like it. She looks like she likes being called Mommy or Mistress but my God I never felt like this before especially with Sarah. Sarah can't even be compared too her but I can get my eyes of this woman.