New Friends

The next morning, Yan Lidong unhurriedly got ready. Chen Xie was knocked out cold, and if his memories of the past few years held true, he would be out of commission until well into the afternoon. The fact that Chen Xie still had the same drunk habits and terrible hangovers offered Yan Lidong a bit of comfort—at least some aspects had remained the same over the years.

He offhandedly glanced at Chen Xie's sleeping visage. When he didn't open his mouth, he was quite pleasing to the eye; he understood why so many people started cozying up to him during university.

Recalling those old memories, he clicked his tongue and pinched Chen Xie's cheek, who grumbled in displeasure. He flicked his forehead for good measure, earning another grunt.

Satisfied, Yan Lidong grabbed his things and headed outside. As soon as he opened the door, however, he was greeted by a few unexpected guests. He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh my. Good morning to you, too."

It was a group of zombies: nearly a dozen grotesque creatures stood in front of him, unmoving. They were staring directly at him, some with rotting eyes, others only with hollow eye sockets.

Yan Lidong scanned them over thoughtfully. He moved to step closer to them, only to notice them collectively step back, their gazes following him. He leaned to the right, and their eyes shifted accordingly. Then, he quickly waved his hand, watching as their heads frantically turned to keep up with his movements. For a few moments, he experimentally pointed in different directions, grinning as he watched their heads turn in unison.

"Goodness, how have none of you tried to attack me yet? You're all awfully polite," he mused. "Thank you for waiting out here so patiently, and for taking the time to entertain me, but please take up your issues with the master of the house."

Then, he closed the door.

Unfortunately, his new polite friends immediately dropped all pretenses, and he heard their ragged breaths begin to creep closer to the door.

Unwilling to get into a brawl, but still curious about their behaviour, he opened the curtain of the window adjacent to the door, peeking at them. As soon as they caught sight of him, though, they froze once again. Their stare-off resumed, as did Yan Lidong's antics, who once again began waving his hand around. Once again, their eyes—or lack thereof—followed. Their synchronisation was quite impressive, their rotting heads jerking around in tandem.

Thoroughly amused, he was about to withdraw, only to notice a figure suddenly appear in the front yard.

Then, his new friends all collapsed. He quietly offered his condolences.

With the entrance cleared, he decided it was the perfect time to leave, forgetting the mysterious figure, who had gotten closer to the door. In fact, she was currently pacing around right in front of Yan Lidong; close enough for him to recognise her.

"Ah, if it isn't my favourite criminal. Here to save the day?"

The Warden jolted. "Who—?! Oh, it's just you." She breathed a sigh of relief, only to jolt again. "Wait, where's your mask?!"

He took it out of his bag with much reluctance. It had hardened back to its original plastic-like texture, so the horribly average visage was clear as day. "Unfortunately, I still have this horrendous thing. It's just the two of us, so it doesn't matter, does it?"

She shook her head. "It's fine right now, but you can never be too careful. Now tell me, what exactly are you doing here?"

"Petty theft."

She stared at him in bewilderment. "...sorry?"

"Just a few hundred dollars. Don't worry, I made sure that I only committed a minor crime," he reassured her. "It was my first time breaking the law, so I was a bit nervous." He clasped his hands together in mock bashfulness.

Yan Lidong always had an unparalleled ability to either thoroughly disarm, or thoroughly piss people off within a few sentences. She pinched the bridge of her nose. The absurdity of his statements were not lost on her, but she lacked the energy to argue. "Great. Thank you for controlling yourself, but answer the question properly. I expressly told you to stay lowkey; what if Chen Xie freaks out and goes on another mad search for you?"

He noted her use of the word "again"; it seemed that that rascal had caused a colossal commotion, enough to leave a lasting impression on his team.

"Don't worry about him," he assured. "I just told him it was a dream, and I think he bought it."

"You…" she grimaced. "You think he's that gullible?"

"Yes."

Her expression was incredibly pained, as she said with much difficulty, "I mean, you're right, but… ugh, he'll just be insufferable. Whatever, I guess it doesn't concern you. Let's get out of here for now—the zombies will wake up soon. I'm gonna call Chen Xie to deal with them, and we don't want to be around for that."

"Wake up…?" he glanced at the motionless zombies strewn across the grass. "They look pretty dead to me, though." After considering their typical corpse-like appearances, he tacked on, "Doubly so."

The Warden shook her head. "All my abilities revolve around protection and shields. I can't actually harm them, so I just incapacitated them for now. Follow me."

She led him away from Chen Xie's house, though not before forcing him to put on the mask.

Yan Lidong begrudgingly obliged, though as he trailed behind her, he prodded, "Surely, Chen Xie would take them out in an instant, so can't we stick around for just a little longer? I'm curious about his abilities. Is it too grotesque a sight?"

Averting her gaze, she mumbled, "I have a very different fear. It would be infinitely more terrifying than seeing him go on a bloodthirsty rampage." She shuddered, turning to point at Yan Lidong. "In any case, we can't risk you going near him again! It'd be dangerous for everyone involved."

Unable to parse the meaning behind her words, he nodded noncommittally. Though she evidently didn't buy it, she continued questioning him, "Anyway, why were you here in the first place? Shouldn't you have moved in already?"

He tilted his head. "What do you mean? I don't have a place to live. That's why I came here to leech off of Chen Xie."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "That's not right. All of our employees get a free room at the company building—that's one of the main reasons people work for us, with how many houses have been destroyed. I made sure that there was a vacancy for you. Didn't anyone give you your room key?"

He thought back to the day prior. "My onboarding process lasted about ten minutes, so maybe they forgot."

She thought for a moment, then slowly nodded. "Right, that actually makes sense."

He was almost at a loss for words. "...Unfortunately, that doesn't make any sense to me. I'm utterly lost, so I was hoping you'd offer an explanation."

"In short, the Guild is just like any other company. Since the Lord owns a ton of properties, he threw in housing as an employee bonus, and people naturally flocked to apply," she explained. "You'll mostly bump into evolvers, but some are regular workers like you."

After a moment of thought, she added, "As for why the team is like that… they're pretty useless outside the battlefield. Everyone on the Lord's team is eccentric, including himself. Magonia and Piper probably just don't care about you, and Hunter can barely remember his own duties, let alone what the clerk's job entails."

Yan Lidong was stunned. "Chen Xie is singularly incorrigible. How did he find a group of people just like him?"

"They're all bad on their own, but their lunacy only multiplies when they're together," she echoed, conveniently ignoring that she was included in his definition.

The building he would live in was right next to the Guild, much to his relief. His room was even more convenient, being the very first room on the first floor.

"Right, before I forget." The Warden rummaged through her bag. "Take this phone. Mine and the Lord's numbers are on it," she said, shoving it in Yan Lidong's hands. "I have to run now. I trust that you'll actually hold down this job, so get acquainted with your coworkers. Superficial greetings are fine; they probably think you'll be gone soon, anyway."

Yan Lidong sent her off before heading to his room, which was every bit as plain as he expected. It was remarkably similar to Chen Xie's residence—rather, Yan Lidong's former house. Luckily, that meant the plainness was perfectly suited to his tastes.

With nothing to unpack, and nothing better to do, he cooperatively loitered in the hallways the second he put his bag down, waiting for his neighbours to wake up. A few minutes later, somebody poked her head out of her door.

"Tch, you're the new clerk? I can't believe they actually let you move in."

Yan Lidong turned to the person who just spoke, smiling. "Pleasure to meet you too. Don't worry, I'm equally surprised—given the retention rate of my position, I thought I'd be assigned a cardboard box."

That earned a chuckle from the grumpy-looking employee, her furrowed eyebrows smoothing out a tad. "Cheeky brat. Well, I've never actually seen that room occupied, but I have seen dozens of people get fired after a few days. I hope you'll be different."

He stood in the hallway for a bit longer, fiddling with his newly acquired phone. By 8:30, a few more people had started leaving their rooms.

"Hey, heard the new clerk actually moved in?"

"I bet he'll be gunning for the Warden."

"Haha, no way! My bet's on the Lord."

"Lame, the past five clerks all took the job just for the Lord. It'd be way more interesting if he's here for Magonia."

Their jeers continued as they turned to size him up with all the propriety of barn animals. Unruffled, Yan Lidong used his brightest customer service smile, which he had painstakingly refined to perfection over the years.

"Pleasure to meet you all. I'm quite curious who I'll fall in love with, too. We'll have to wait and see."

He couldn't be bothered to come up with any lengthy excuses, so he simply played along. The group snickered amongst themselves for a bit longer, but seeing his lack of reactions, they soon sauntered off.

Yan Lidong found their tragic attempts at provocation quite endearing. He'd seen similar scenes throughout high school, but didn't expect such juvenile behaviour to carry over to the workplace, much less for himself to become the target. It seemed that he had much work to do if he wanted to clean up his image.