Part 18: A Maiden's Revelation And A Fool's Misinterpretation

"So, that's the gist of it."

"I see."

"... So?"

"So what?"

"So, got anything to say about it?"

"No, not really. I'm just as surprised as you are with what she said."

I swear, this guy makes me want to choke him to death. I came to you to get answers, not an aneurysm! Is he even really a licensed guidance counselor? Is that plaque on the wall showing off his diploma just a fake? If that's the case, then maybe I could get some sort of reward if I turn him in to the police.

"Still, I do get where she's coming from, considering what happened to her previously."

"You mean when the senior members graduated?"

After I said that, Mr. Hirashi looked at me with an expression that said "How the hell do you know about that?". Sorry, but I also have my own set of facedown cards. I only told him about what happened at lunch, but purposefully left out the parts that happened this morning near the school shed. It was really difficult to tell a story while hiding parts of it, especially to a guidance counselor. But seeing Mr. Hirashi's stupefied facial expression made it all worth it.

Though this moment was very short lived, as he quickly regained his composure before speaking once again.

"I'm surprised she told you about that. But no, that's not what I was talking about. I'm referring to what happened with the other current member of the school volunteers."

"Another member? But I thought Kurebayashi was the only volunteer left?"

"Uh-uh Jo, that's not entirely accurate. In fact, you're a member as well, right?"

He's got me on the ropes after that one two combination. But I'm still not out of the fight yet. I can rest easy in the knowledge that Kurebayashi will back me up when I make the claim that he schemed to have me join as a volunteer. Time to get a bit cheeky.

"Yeah, I'm an involuntary volunteer thanks to you."

"Ahaha! Well, I can't deny that. But you have to admit, you enjoyed it, right?"

I didn't expect him to outright admit to it. And now that I think about it, I've been consistently wrong with my expectations recently. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought.

"A-anyway! What's that got to do with anything?!"

"Nothing, it's just a question I wanted to ask you. But going back to what I was saying, with you as a member, that makes 3 school volunteers."

"3 volunteers? But wait, Kurebayashi said that it was only her before I showed up."

"Indeed, that's correct as well. You see, there was another student who joined as a volunteer earlier this year."

Mr. Hirashi takes a short pause to take a sip from his cup. Judging from the string dangling on the side, he must be drinking tea. That's a surprise. This is the first time I've met someone who drinks both tea and coffee. After putting down his cup, he opens his mouth to continue speaking, his expression noticeably more somber.

"He stuck with it for two weeks, then he just stopped showing up at all. And since he didn't formally say that he quit, he's technically still a member."

"Ah… She didn't tell me about that. But what does that have to do with what Kureayashi said about me patronizing her?"

Mr. Hirashi pauses once again to shift his position in his seat. Initially, he was sitting normally, with his left arm slung across the backrest of his chair. Now, he has both his arms resting on his knees, and his eyes fixated on me. After countless counseling sessions with him, I'm all too familiar with this pose. It's how he sits whenever he wants to hear a certain answer from me.

"Before I answer that, I want you to tell me something first. Why did you join as a volunteer?"

"Huh? What are you on about? You're the one who forced me to join, remember?"

"Yes, I admit to that. But then you willfully offered to continue the second time around. Why is that?"

I open my mouth to retort but no words come out. Even though I feel like I want to say something, I have nothing to say. Because I don't know the answer to his question. I mean, that's why I'm here in the first place; because I don't know why I told her I'd continue as a volunteer. Isn't it your job as the guidance counselor to do some psychological crap and help me arrive at the answer? So help me, damn it!

"... I don't know. Maybe I just got caught up in the moment?"

"Perhaps. You know what I think?"

He leans forward, his hands clasped together and his chin resting on top of them. He has a slight smirk on him, but his eyes emit an understanding gaze. For once, he looks like an actual decent teacher.

"I think you already know the answer, Jo. But you choose to disregard it as something impossible."

"What are you trying to say exactly?"

"I'm saying that like you, this other member also had his own reason for joining. I don't know what that reason is, but it wound up not being good enough for him to stay on as a volunteer."

Mr. Hirashi reclines back on his seat, taking a more relaxed position. Somehow, this action of his also made me relax a bit, relieving the tension I felt just moments ago.

"I'm sure that after experiencing it for yourself, you now understand that being a school volunteer is hard work. And joining because of a flimsy reason means that it's almost a guarantee that you won't last long."

"Okay, I get what you're trying to say now. But I still don't understand what any of this has to do with Kurebayashi."

"Okay, well think about it this way. Put yourself in her shoes. It's spring, it's the first month of the school year, and you're still getting over the fact that all your friends have graduated. You're left all alone as the only member of the club. Yet, you persevere. Because you treasure all the valuable memories you've made in the past year as a member of the volunteers club."

He pauses to make sure I'm still listening before continuing. What does he think I am, a 5 year old?

"Now, just as you're at your lowest point, you get approached by someone who says that he wants to join your club. Naturally, you'd be happy about this and you start to look forward to reliving all those fun times. But then, he stops showing up after just two weeks. What would you feel about that?"

"That… would suck."

I get it now. After experiencing false hope like that, she'd obviously be more cautious when someone says that they want to join. She must have thought that the reason I wanted to continue as a volunteer was to simply repay a debt. Yeah, of course that's a stupid reason. I mean, I may not know what my reason actually is, but it sure as hell ain't that. So in the end, it's all just a misunderstanding. 

Seemingly aware of my realization, Mr. Hirashi slaps his knees and proceeds to stand up.

"Welp, that's all the time we have for today. We best head out."

"Why are you suddenly talking like a western cowboy?"

"I've been binge watching some wild west films this week. They are surprisingly good!"

It hurts that I know what he means. I still remember my middle school days of acting out League of Legends characters and saying their voice lines out loud. Weirdos tend to flock together, I suppose.

Still don't like him though.

I stand up as well and walk to the door before turning back to ask Mr. Hirashi one more question.

"By the way, who is the other member? Is he still in school?"

Mr. Hirashi audibly hums and thinks to himself, as if he's mentally looking for the name.

"Hmm… Oh! I remember now. I believe his name is Sakakibara. Can't remember his first name though."