Sharing trauma

I walk in and sit on the side of the bed next to Zeb letting him sit in silence making sure he is comfortable so he can open up. I watch as he rubs his hands together his worry completely encompassing him. I place my right hand on his while looking at him from the side. Zeb turns to look at me. "Let it all out Zeb I am here to listen and help." My words are soft and caring making him stop before sighing and nodding, I move my hand to allow him to get comfortable fully and talk. 

"I was there you know on the day of the attack on my home. I was a captain in the Lasan honor guard. I was there on the Lassan home world in the capital when we were attacked by the empire." He stops for a moment taking deep calming breaths to try and stop his voice from shaking so much. "We fought hard against the empire's troops and defend our home with honor. Then they brought out the T1 disruptors." His rage is palpable as he says this. "I later learned they wanted to use them on us as a test to see how effective they were against living organisms. I watched as my friends and even my family were shot and had to endure the most painful death imaginable with their bodies being ripped apart atom by atom." Tears begin to flow down his face as he tries to compose himself. I place my hand on his shoulder allowing him to take his time. "So many of my people died and I could do nothing but watch and listen as they screamed out in pain until finally, they died. It is why I hate the empire so much and why I fight them." His words are shaking as he finishes speaking. We sit there for a few minutes in silence as I allow him to come to terms with his pain. 

"I am truly sorry for everything you lost in the battle against the empire. You lost your people and your home and that cannot be returned or forgiven. But it can be accepted." He looks at me confused. "Use your rage to fight the empire but also use it to protect the ones you care about this crew this family. Rage and energy can destroy, or it can be used to protect." His eyes widen slightly as he realizes how true what I say is. "Would you like to hear my story?" His eyes while still red from all the crying looks down at me in silence until he nods his head in conformation. 

"Me, Ezra and our parents lived a happy life before the empire. We lived comfortably for our area, and we were able to go to school have fun and think of the future. I was adopted by Ezra's parents 4 years before Ezra was born when I was very very young. We were happy then the empire came. Life got hard after that, prices went up, armed patrols started moving through the streets and a new curfew. Our parents started to speak out about this to make the people see that what the empire was doing was wrong and that we should stand up to them." Tears slowly fall as I try to hold myself together as I share my trauma with Zeb. "Then the empire got to annoyed at all their talking back and decided to do something about it." Zeb freezes at these words slowly understanding what I am talking about. "Me and Ezra where out at the time playing in a playground a fair way from our house. We started to hear screams coming from our residential area. We started to run back home but when we were about to round the corner I saw a storm trooper, so me and Ezra hid before they found us. We watched them burn our home as well as every other one in the district then take our parents and other families. I had to hold Ezra back or else they would have taken him too. You can probably guess the rest." Zeb is shocked by my life story trying to understand what happened. 

"How old were you when it happened?" His voice is quiet and soft trying to be as supporting as I was to him. 

"I was 14 Ezra was 10." His mouth falls open as he is at a loss for words at this information. 

"So young for such trauma, I was an adult when I lost everything, but you were just a child, I am so sorry." Zeb gives me a hug. 

"As am I to your suffering." My soft as I lean into him and return his hug allowing us both to try and come to terms with the suffering we have been through. We then let go of each other once we have accepted it all. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thanks for talking." I smile at him before we both walk out and run into Ezra who was just about to knock. He looks very sad like he finally understands what happened to Zeb. I smile softly at him and walk past allowing them to talk and come to terms with each other. I walk into the cockpit to find Kannan, Sabine, Chopper and Hera in there. 

"Was it a good talk?" Hera's words are soft but still curious. 

"Yeah, we are both feeling a lot better now." I am honest with her on everything that happened. Everyone's faces lighten at this. I take a seat and turn to Hera. "How far are we from the meet with Vizago?" 

"We will be there in 30min" she says while turning back to the ship controls.

"Understood." I say with a smile as we all lean back for a somewhat short journey to sell these weapons.