Chapter 32

She had always wanted wings: full wings that'll spread across the sky boldly. When the car sent her flying, she thought her wish had been granted. Then she fell and slept off. When she woke up, she saw a paradise-like garden. She woke up in the middle of a garden with fluffy grasses that literally massaged her back as she laid on them. She sat up to access her surroundings. The trees were calm, their leaves giggled as the breeze tickled them.

There was a flowing river at the foot of the tree. There were beautiful flowers that she hadn't seen before. She rose on her feet, the grasses tickle her under feet as she walked on them. She giggled as she walked on them grass.

She walked to the flowing river. She looked at her reflection in the water and she was awed. Her hair was well tied to the back; a little part of the front hair was plaited on both sides and dragged to the back of the already tied part. Flowers were used to adorn the braided part. She felt like Rapunzel when her hair was braided. Then she noticed something by her two sides.

"Are those wings?" She realized that her voice was quite gentle. She examined the fluffy feathers beside her and twirled in happiness. She finally had wings. She could fly anywhere now. She tried flying but couldn't lift herself. She kept trying till she heard a voice. She turned sharply and saw no one. She continued trying till it was dawn on her that she was alone. She looked around if she'd see any human. She was alone.

"You are the only one here."

She turned around again to look for the speaker. She found no one. "Who are you?" She asked gently.

"I'm you."

"You're me? I don't get you."

"You are in your subconsciousness and I'm your mind."

She paused a bit. "Are you saying all of these aren't real?"

"They exist because you wish for them. Also, it's this beautiful because you have a beautiful soul."

"Why do you seem to know everything when you're just my mind?"

"Let me rephrase what I said. I'm the voice in your head, the one that tells you the truth you don't want to hear."

"Oh, okay. But can you show yourself?"

"I'm still you."

"Just show. I think it'll be nice to have someone to talk to."

"If you insist."

Nancy saw the wind gather itself to a spot. It became stronger till it wove itself into a person. Nancy looked at the figure and realized it was like her. She wore a white dress that reached her ankle, she has a white scarf on her head. Her sleek skin and hair glowed. Nancy wondered if she was this beautiful in reality.

"Wow. You're beautiful."

"I'm you."

"No, I don't think I'm this beautiful in reality."

"Yes, you are."

"Well, welcome to your subconsciousness."

"It's beautiful, I must admit. I don't want to leave."

"You will. You must."

Nancy turned to her. "I'm not. I won't."

"Nancy, there are people waiting for you."

Nancy sat on the grass, folded her legs to her chest. "I doubt if I can meet him. I think Dorcas was right, to an extent. What if I fail to help him? I'm literally risking my life too. I'm weak now. I don't want to go there anymore."

"You remember when you first contemplated your love for him? You told yourself, theoretically me, that you didn't care about his predicament, you just want to be with him."

"I was clueless then."

"So, you want to stay back here?"

"Can I? I mean, is it possible?"

"Yes. Just that you'll never get to see anyone again, including your mother."

"Oh." She became sad.

"Nancy, you've been here for five days. You need to go back."

"I've told you, I'm not going. I found my wishes here, where no one would disturb me and I won't have to control anyone."

"Come. Let me show you something." It held her hand and helped her up. They walked to the river. It motioned to her to rinse her face and ears with the flowing river. Nancy did without objections. It was like a veil was taken off from her face. She could see clearly those around her bed and hear what they're saying.

'Nancy, please. I'm sorry. Just come back.'

'Nancy, your mother is worried. Just open your eyes.'

She could hear and see Dave and Wumi. She felt the tears in her eyes. "I'm not going back."

"Why are you adamant on staying?"

"It's because.... because..."

"You're tired? Tired of what?"

"How did you know I'm tired?"

"I'm you, remember."

"Well, you know why I'm tired then."

"I believe Dave won't let you help him control himself forever. Don't get tired of him already. Remember, you said you'd hold his hand through the storm. The storm hasn't arrived yet and you're tired."

Nancy exhaled and fell on her back. "I'm confused."

"There's nothing to be confused about."

"I don't want to go back."

'Nancy?'

She sat up abruptly. "Is that?"

"Yes. It's Dorcas's voice."

"She's the nightmare I don't want to see or have. She's the reason I don't want to go back."

'nancy. If you can hear me.'

"She's literally beside my bed and still saying if I can hear her. I don't want to."

"Listen to her."

"It's not like I have any options."

'I know you're still unconscious but I hope you hear me. Please, I want you to forgive me. I was jealous, envious. Dave wasn't like this with me as he is with you. Throughout the four years we dated, he never smiled as he did with you. You seem to complete him and it hurt me. I was scared and I fled when I was supposed to be with him. He regained his memory because of me. I should have let both of you be and part ways with you both. I'm sorry I caused you this. I had no idea there was a truck.'

Nancy scoffed in the realm.

'I'm sorry, Nancy. Please, wake up.'

"Well, I wish I can, but you've brainwashed me into believing Dave will harm me someday. So, I'm not waking up."

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"I'm the truthful part of you, remember."

'Nancy!'

She rose on her feet at once. "Mom!" She watched her mother raced to her bed. She was weeping profusely.

'Oh my daughter. Look at my daughter. My Nancy.' As she watched her Mom, the tears trickled down her cheeks.

"Oh, so I can cry here as well." She sniffled.

'Ever since your father died, you've been both my daughter and husband. Dave, you can't strip me of my family. Nancy, the doctor said waking up completely depends on you. Please, come back to us, to me. I miss you. Don't make me a childless mother when I'm already a widow. My beautiful baby girl. You look so peaceful as you are, but that peace is tormenting us, your loved ones. Come back to us, let's be peaceful together.'

'Nancy,'

"Dave." She was weeping uncontrollably now.

'nancy, you remember the first time we met. I went to the mountain yesterday evening. Everything reeked of our memories together. I saw the sunset, it was gloomy. Your smile gives it sparks and since there no smile, it set sadly. I passed by that tree, the leaves hung their heads dejectedly. Nothing has been the same since your absence. I'm diving more and more into depression because you're not here. I can't live without you. Guess what? I've gotten a grip of myself now. I can control any overwhelming emotions because you're my strength. Can you, please, come back to me. I love you.'

Nancy sniffled repeatedly till it changed to hiccup. In the hospital ward, the tears trickled down her temple.

"You should go. That's what I can hear your heart saying. You love Dave, you shouldn't torture yourself like this. Don't take a decision you'll regret."

Nancy turned her back to her other self and walked away. "I'm not leaving."

Her other self smiled because she was her and they both knew what they'd do.