Chapter 92: Confession

"Alright, having drawn up a pros and cons list, we should now have a clearer idea of which way we're leaning in regards to the Knights' offer...except, the pros and cons are more or less even," Sighed Aster, as he flopped onto the couch.

"True, but that's only if we take the possibility that this is a trap into account...if we assume that this isn't a trap, then the pros outweigh the cons," Pointed out Tacitus objectively.

A few hours had passed since Jules made the offer to The Irregulars, and they'd been debating the matter and weighing their options during that time, but they hadn't reached a consensus yet.

"It's all well and good to list out the pros and cons, but even if the pros do outweigh the cons, I still have serious doubts about this whole thing. Even if it turns out to not be a trap, and we get pardoned and join the Knights, there's no guarantee that they'll actually be able to eliminate the corrupt elements in the church and Nobility. And in which case, we'd be better off continuing to do things our way," Chimed in Lexia.

"That's a good point, but if they really are serious about ridding the nation of that corruption, it'd be counterproductive to keep opposing them, we'll only end up being obstacles to our own objective," Argued Ravella thoughtfully.

"And it would be nice to no longer be wanted criminals...while I do really feel at home with you guys and in our hideout, the fact is that we're in constant danger, fighting an uphill battle. We've all survived upto this point, but there's no guarantee that won't change, sooner or later. If joining the Knights gives us the option to continue pursuing our goal but with greater safety and security, I think that's at least worth considering," Reasoned Raven with a nod.

"Being able to walk around freely without having to live in hiding does sound nice...but we should err on the side of caution, we shouldn't get too optimistic and sway one way or the other until we're absolutely certain of our response," Sighed Celia, a conflicted look on her face.

"Well, it is a major decision, with a whole lot at stake. There's way too much riding on this for us to decide with any ease," Added Colt with a nod.

"Right...in which case, let's set it aside for now. We'll sleep on it and discuss the matter again tomorrow, maybe that'll help give us a new perspective on it," Suggested Aster, as he stifled a yawn.

"Sounds good to me. It isn't that late, but all this thinking and debating has really worn me out," Sighed Tacitus, as he stood up and stretched his arms out.

"I guess that works for me, I'm feeling a bit worn out myself," Said Lexia wearily, as they all got up and began to head for their respective rooms.

"Alright, then, see you guys in the morning," Remarked Colt with a wave.

"Uh, hey, Celia...," Raven reached out and grabbed her arm as the others left, before adding as she glanced back at him, "If, um...if it's okay with you, I'd like to pick up where we left off earlier, before we were interrupted."

"Y-yeah, okay...sounds good," She nodded, briefly meeting his gaze before looking away as she felt her face heat up, "U-um, in that case...wait for me in your room, I'll be there in a bit."

"Alright...I'll see you in a bit, then."

"Mhm...see you soon."

Raven then headed back to his room, feeling nervous and tense, his heart starting to pound in his chest.

"A-alright, man, just c-calm down...y-you can do this. Just...just talk to her, I just need to tell her what's on my mind and express my feelings clearly. I mean, she's, like, the easiest person to talk to, s-so there's no need to overthink it...just maintain your composure long enough to get the words out, simple. Damn it...no matter what I tell myself, I just can't seem to ease my nerves!" Raven thought to himself as he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled to try and compose himself, but still felt on edge and antsy.

As he reached his room, he opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind him before sitting on his bed, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling as he tried to calm down and keep his cool.

He began bouncing his leg anxiously, his foot repeatedly tapping against the floor. He squirmed a bit as he felt a tightness in his chest, fidgeting with his hair.

Each passing second felt like an eternity as his anxiety began to intensify, and what was only a few minutes felt like hours to him, before he suddenly perked up as he picked up Celia's scent, approaching his door...

"O-okay, this is it, moment of truth. I...I can do this. No, I have to do this..I owe it to Raven. I totally let my impulses get the better of me and got carried away in the heat of the moment, not that that's a valid excuse...I-I mean, if I'm being honest, I don't really regret it or anything, but it was totally unfair of me to blindside him by k-kissing him out of the blue like I did. And if that wasn't bad enough, to make things worse, I then basically ignored and avoided him for a whole week, because I was too flustered and embarrassed to face him! That was so not cool on my part.

Even though it wasn't intentional, I probably ended up giving him mixed signals. I can't even imagine what must have gone through the poor guy's head during this last week, I'm such a jerk...which is exactly why I need to do this, before it's too late. The last thing I want to do is end up giving him the wrong idea," She thought to herself, before steeling her resolve as she stepped in front of Raven's door, calling out as she gave it a knock, "H-hey, Raven, it's me!"

She winced slightly in embarrassment as her voice cracked, before taking a deep breath to try and calm down a bit.

"C-come in, the door's unlocked," Raven's voice echoed out from inside the room, before Celia mustered up her courage and grabbed hold of the door handle, twisting it down and stepping into the room as she pushed the door open.

"I, um...I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

"N-no, not at all," Raven shook his head, before an awkward silence set in as both of their minds blanked, unable to think of anything to say as their nerves got to them.

Neither could bring themselves to look the other in the eye, the two of them desperately wracking their brains to think of something to say and break the tension.

"So, listen, I-...," Began Raven.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Suddenly blurted out Celia, bowing her head to him.

"Huh? What?"

"I shouldn't have kissed you without any warning like that, that was a dick move on my part. I-I just couldn't help myself, my impulses got the better of me...but I know that's no excuse. And even worse, I couldn't bring myself to talk to you for the entire week after that, I'm really sorry!" She apologized profusely, all the guilt that had been building up over the last week bursting out in one go.

"H-hey, slow down a sec...first off, you don't need to apologize, I definitely didn't feel like you did anything wrong, not even for a second. And I couldn't bring myself to talk to you either, I just felt way too embarrassed. If anything, I owe you an apology, I should've taken the initiative and tried to approach you a lot sooner. So, I'm sorry, I should've been braver," Responded Raven, feeling bad as he bowed his head to her in apology.

"What? No, that's crazy, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!" She replied as she vehemently shook her head.

"Okay, then...how about we just call it even?" He suggested with a wry smile.

"I-...yeah, alright. That sounds good," She responded with a sheepish grin.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter, their nerves easing up as the awkward tension dissipated.

As they calmed down, Raven scooted over and patted the spot on the bed next to him, before Celia strolled over and sat down beside him, lightly bumping her shoulder against him.

"I think it's high time we address this and talk about it. That kiss, it was-...," He started to say.

"Wait...let me go first. I don't want to leave any room for misunderstandings, so I'm going to say this as clearly as possible. Okay, here goes...the reason I kissed you, is because I...I love you, Raven. I'm in love with you, I have been for a while," She confessed quietly, fidgeting slightly as her cheeks reddened.

Raven's heart skipped a beat, immense joy welling up inside him, as he did his best to stifle a grin and contain himself.

His emotions felt like they were going to burst out and overflow, but he was determined to keep them in check, just long enough to say what he needed to say...

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that...because I feel the exact same way. I love you too, Celia, I love you so much. I love spending time with you and talking to you, I love your smile and your laugh, I love how kind and warm you are...the way your eyes sparkle when you're excited, the way you always bump your shoulder against me, that playful look on your face whenever you tease me, how cute you are whenever you get all smug and-..."

"H-hey, slow down, th-this is...this is really embarrassing! D-don't get me wrong, I'm really, REALLY happy, but also super embarrassed...," She cut him off as she clamped her hand over his mouth, her face bright red.

"I wasn't even halfway done though...also, you're really cute when you blush," He replied with a teasing smile as she pulled her hand back.

"O-okay, I get it," She muttered as she lightly punched his shoulder, before meeting his gaze with a pout.

He then grabbed her cheek and gave it a soft pinch, meeting her gaze before his hand slid down to her chin, tilting her head up before he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

Her eyes widened as her heart skipped a beat, opening her mouth as he pulled back, but couldn't say anything.

"Just a little payback for taking me by surprise last time, now we're ev-...," Began Raven with a smirk, before he was cut off as she swiftly grabbed his collar and pulled him in towards her, closing her eyes and kissing him again, caressing his lips with hers.

"It's amazing just how happy I feel right now," She whispered as she briefly pulled back, before adding as she leaned in towards him again, "I love you, Raven."

"I love you too, Celia."

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the hideout...

"Hm? Oh, hey, Ravella...trouble sleeping?" Remarked Aster, as he strolled out the entrance and spotted her seated on the grass, staring up at the sky.

"Huh? U-um, hey, Aster. Yeah, I was feeling restless and decided to come get some fresh air. What about you?" She responded, before thinking to herself as Aster walked over and sat down beside her, "H-he's so close...my face feels so warm, I hope he doesn't notice how much I'm blushing right now..."

"Yeah, I've got a lot on my mind. Even though I said we should set the matter aside for today and pick it back up tomorrow, I couldn't follow my own advice...I just can't help but think about it, I feel so muddled and conflicted.

Besides everything we discussed, I have a lot of personal feelings about this, feelings that really shouldn't have any bearing on the decision, but I just can't bring myself to ignore them," He replied with a strained sigh.

"I see...you wanna talk about it? It might help to vent and get it off your chest," Suggested Ravella in response.

"Hm...yeah, I guess it couldn't hurt to try, if you're willing to listen. Fair warning, it isn't exactly a pleasant story."

"That's okay, it's not like I can't relate to that, after all," She pointed out with a wry smile.

"Yeah, that's certainly true. Alright, then...thank you, I appreciate this. It's a bit of a long story, the events that led me to despise the church and Nobility so much. I grew up in Opal Town, my family wasn't particularly well off or anything, but still, I was happy. But that changed on the day of my appraisal at the town's church, where my Irregular Magic was identified.

I narrowly escaped the clutches of the Inquisitors before they could restrain me, and I hid in fear. My parents eventually found me and assured me that they'd protect me and keep me safe, and I felt a sense of hope...but that hope was short-lived, painfully so.

As it turned out, it was a trap...the church had threatened to kill my parents if they didn't turn me in, so they tried to hand me over to the Inquisitors to save themselves. I still remember the sense of betrayal and the immense rage I felt when I saw the Inquisitors in our home and realized what was happening...my volatile emotions made my Magic run amok, and before I even realized what I'd done, the Inquisitors and my parents were dead, killed by my hand.

As you might imagine, I was more than a little traumatized by that whole experience, I freaked out at what I'd done, before running away...I wandered aimlessly for a while, before growing resentful and vengeful. I then trained with my Magic for a couple of years, headed back to Opal Town and killed the Bishop who was in charge of it at the time, along with several Inquisitors and the Noble ruling the town.

After that, I just...I just felt so hollow and empty. I had no idea what to do with my life, and I continued wandering aimlessly. After a couple more years or so, I happened to run into Tacitus. He became my first friend, and helped my regain some purpose and sanity...and now that I was no longer isolated, my perspective widened, I realized that I was far from the only one who'd suffered at the hands of the church and Nobility. You've probably heard most of the rest, we went on to encounter Lexia, then Colt and Celia, then Raven, and finally, you. And that brings us to the present," Aster concluded with a wistful smile.

"I...I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that...I can't even imagine what you must have felt, being betrayed by your own parents like that, when you were only ten years old," Responded Ravella quietly.

"Truth be told, I don't blame them...or at least, I don't harbor any resentment towards them for it, not anymore, anyway. They were forced into that hopeless situation, a situation where there was no happy ending no matter what they did. From their perspective, I was almost certainly going to be killed either way, so it makes sense that they would choose the path that would lead to them surviving, at the very least.

So, yeah, I don't blame them for what happened...my rage and hatred has always been directed at the church and Nobility. It feels all-consuming at times, where I just get the urge to go on a murderous rampage...I've done my best to keep those feelings in check. Whatever happened, I never wanted to become someone who'd kill people indiscriminately.

I forced myself to accept the fact that not all Nobles and members of the church deserve to die, I didn't want to end up killing someone who'd never done anything wrong, just because they happen to be a Noble or involved in the church. It's gotten easier lately, having encountered several Knights who are decent people, a lot of that burning hatred has begun to fade, at least a little bit.

In fact, I thought I was over it...but today, after the Knights' offer, I realized that I wasn't, not completely, anyway. A part of me can't stand the idea of joining forces with them, the very idea of it disgusts me. And no matter how hard I try to ignore or suppress that part of me, I just can't fully put it out of my mind," Aster sighed wearily, looking stressed out and conflicted.

"I see, I think I get it...you don't want to let those feelings influence your decision beyond an objective level, but ignoring those feelings is easier said than done. I can kinda relate to that...I absolutely despise the church too, for what they put me and Raven through, and I know that I'll never, ever forgive them for that.

But that said...if joining the Knights will really help us change things for the better, if we can make sure that no one else is made to suffer at the hands of the church like we were, if can we can at least minimize the likelihood and frequency of such atrocities, I think it's worth considering. And, well, it does help that we've already killed those who were directly responsible for our suffering.

I think what it ultimately comes down to is whether we can do more good from within the system, or by attacking the system from the outside, like we've been doing uptil this point. So, I'd say that we should at least hear them out and get the specific details of how exactly they plan on eliminating the corruption in the nation...every one of us has suffered at the hands of the church and Nobility, and there are countless other people who'd endured the same.

So, if we have a potential option that'd allow us to more effectively prevent anyone else from suffering like we did, even if that option isn't a particularly pleasant one to consider, I think we should at least give it a try," Remarked Ravella thoughtfully.

"Hm...thank you, Ravella, I think I needed to hear that. I feel like I have a bit more clarity now, though I'm still a ways away from settling on a final decision. Thanks for listening to me, I really appreciate it," He smiled gratefully, as he reached over and patted her head.

"O-oh, um...you're welcome, I'm glad I could help."