CHAPTER 5: PREGNANCY

It's been 3{three} months since the rape incident and I've been less traumatised, I've learnt to take life the way it is, of course I was going for a therapy because only me can't get through this. Remember Doctor Jane the one who offered me free counsel, she's my therapist. Her words of advice did so much good in my life. My nightmares stopped, my academics which also or maybe mostly suffered as I paid less attention to my books also went back to normal that if it's not better. Well, since my rape incident I've not seen my menstruation. I didn't bother since I was an irregular flow. Sometimes, 2 to 4 months I won't see my menses and when it comes it's going to be long and heavy. I didn't suspect anything not until all the signs of pregnancy were all over my body, signs of pregnancy I was taught in home economics in Jss3 and in biology in ss1. My mother didn't fail to notice the signs too, I kind of overheard or eavesdropped or maybe pried depending on what you call it my mom and dad discussing in their room about my changes.

"Dimoma" she called.

"Yes"my dad replied

" Have you noticed the changes in Ebere''

"Yes, she's putting on weight "

"Great!!!, now I am glad I'm not the only one noticing it".

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see how easily she gets tired and sleep too often" my mom asked rhetorically "and her constant spitting and vomiting with fever," my mom added.

"Yes, I do but what are you insinuating" my dad asked hoping it's not what he thought.

" Dimoma, I think...I think Ebere is pregnant "my mom said stammering.

"It's not possible" my dad countered .

"Then how come the signs are dead obvious.?"

"Maybe it's just changes'

"And maybe pregnancy"

"Onyinye!" my dad had screamed. "My angel is not pregnant". My dad added

"What about if she is, what are we going to do what's going to happen?" my mom asked.

" Onyinye, please...We need to sleep let's postpone this discussion till further notice" my dad said trying to end the discussion.

"Dimoma, we need to face the truth, Ebere is pregnant." my mom said refusing to end the discussion.

"No, stop assuming"

"Dimoma, I only started this discussion to let you know that tomorrow Ebere is going for a pregnancy test. " My mum said with an air of authority.

"Okay, madam do whatever you want, i need to sleep ,Kachifo {good night}" my dad said .

It was then it dawned on me that I could be pregnant, I remembered Emeka and I hated him, if truly I was pregnant what am I going to do? What will happen to me? definitely, my life will take a different route. I was going to lose it. I lamented in my mind. Whoever raped me, whose gang raped me shall know no peace, shall never find happiness. Tears dropped from my eyes as I laid on my bed to sleep. I tried to sleep but could not as my mind was far away from sleep. Then I remembered some sedatives in my drugs can, doctor Jane gave them to me and told me the prescription. In case, I couldn't sleep due to the trauma but I didn't use it as her words gave me more sleep than any sedatives. I took the pills and in a swiftly, I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt and saw an unknown face telling me he isn't done with me yet.

* * *

"young lady, madam, I think you should call the husband of the very pretty young lady here to share the good news" .The nurse said after taking my urine. I looked more matured than my age so I don't blame her for saying I'm married.

"Ma,I'm not married" I said.

"Oh really, well this test shows that you are pregnant". the nurse just dropped a bombshell,

"Jesus Christ!" I am pregnant, God , no! l had screamed and that was the last thing I remembered and fainted. I woke up in the hospital bed hours later. I still couldn't believe the shock. I am pregnant, we went home to tell my dad, he too couldn't believe it. I could see my dreams shattered into pieces, Emeka has finally succeeded, he has succeeded in seeing me cry and go through pain. He should be happy I thought. Needless to say my schooling stopped when the pregnancy was becoming obvious. It hurts whenever I see

my peers going to school or coming from school, holding school bags, discussing topics they've been taught, chatting together, laughing. My friend named Innocent, I called on her, she ignored me like no one was talking to her, a class mate of hers who was new in the environment so might not know about my circumstances said.

"Is she not calling you?" her class mate asked her.

"I know, but I want to ignore her, don't you know she got raped, pregnant and now her parents got sacked" Innocent said.

I heard her, my parents was fired from work, my dad's employer said their resources were unstable to pay all workers so my dad was among the people who was relieved of duty while my mom was fired because of some missing items that were supposed to be under her protection . I ran towards her ignoring what she said to her class mate, I touched her, she quickly removed my hand from her shoulder.

"Ah ,ah are we quarrelling?''I asked her .

"No we are not but please don't rub your bad luck on me" she said in a very hostile tone .

"What do you mean?,are you referring to me, your friend bad luck? " I asked rhetorically.

" Yes I am and for the record you are not my friend, how can my friend be bad luck, no way" she said and pulled her friend. I stood still unable to move, I was still able to hear them.

"You shouldn't have spoken to her in that manner" her friend told Innocent.

"Please, that girl is pure bad luck I heard she is a witch and I'm sure it's true" Innocent said .she told her different sour stories about me that are not true until I could hear her no more. I cried that night . I have been hawking fruits since my parents were fired. Life was hard. I was hawking one day when Emeka stopped me to buy oranges, he didn't recognise me for I was looking tattered, miserable and hungry. "Emeka", I called .

"How do you know my name?" He asked

"Don't you know me? Chidiebere the one you" before I could finish he interrupted me.

"Ebere is this you, ?you look different what happened? he asked.

"You happened ."I said.

"What?" He asked .

"You are happy ,aren't you? ", I said in tears .

"I don't know what you are talking about" he said looking confused .

"I am hawking, pregnant all because of you, I lost education because of you, you've succeeded, you've succeeded in seeing me cry and go through pain. I hate you" I said in tears.

" Ebere, what are you talking about? "Emeka asked looking very perplexed.

"I am carrying a bastard in my womb because of you, this child will be great but how am I going to explain where it's father is or who he is. You caused it" I said and walked away .He tried calling me back but I didn't even answer him and continued my hawking. I hated him, hate is not a word good enough to explain how I felt about him, I resented him.