CHAPTER 11 : DISCOVERIES

I was posted to Edo and coincidentally that's where Emeka's hospital was situated. I was serving in a hospital close to his. When I told him, he started looking for an apartment for me. He found one so he promised to help me park my things and take me there in his car since I was with my parents in Anambra. We decided to start parking days before I travelled to avoid rushing also because my things were very much

As we were parking (i and Emeka), I excuse myself to the toilet to urinate. I came back only to see Emeka holding a letter reading it with keen interest.

'Hey; what are you holding', I asked.

'You told me you tore the love letters years ago', he said.

"I lied , I wanted to show it to my future daughters"I said smiling

'Emeka, what is it/', I asked

'Nothing', he said busying himself

'Emeka, kwuezioguwu (say the truth), I convinced him

'There are things you need to know', he said

'What things?' I asked curiously

'Where do we start? Where do we start? Ok remember the poison you drank', he started'

'Yes? I do', what about it?' I asked

Emeka looked into my eyes.

'Just forget it' he said trying to brush it away.

'No, I won't, I demand the truth', I said feeling like a commander.

'In the hospital, the doctor said the poison damaged your womb, you won't be able to conceive', he drop the bomb shell. I swallowed it.

"So why didn't you tell me"I said as tears gathered my eyes.

'I didn't want to break your heart', he replied.

'Ok, apart from me who else knows?', I asked.

'Your parents', he answered.

'My what? When did you tell them?', I asked.

'The night you reconciled with them', he answered.

'And you didn't bother telling me?'

He was silent.

'Anymore secrets?' I asked.

'Yes', he responded

'Spit it out', I commanded.

'it's about the love letter', he said

'Continue', I'm listening', I said

'I wrote the love letters but it wasn't my intention to'

'What?', I asked.

"let me finish, I admit, I have always admire your beauty, always wanted to have you as a girlfriend but I know my dad will practically kill me if he knew, so I kept myself. I was not the only one developing feelings for you, Tochukwu also did so he begged me to write it for him since my handwriting is better than his. I first refused but his persistence pleading got to me, I agreed, he said he'll drop it. He just told me to write a love letter for him, not knowing he was going to give you if not I would have refused", he concluded.

" But why didn't you tell on him?" , I asked.

" he is my best friend, I can't do that besides my handwriting is the writing of the love letter what proof, who will believe me after my bad behaviors?", he said.

" I'm a proof" , I said

"What?" he asked confused.

"Yes, I saw him drop it in my bag" , I revealed.

" Why didn't you say it?" he asked.

"Because you didn't even oppose or say, you didn't", I said.

You are the one i thought sent him to put it in my bag', I added

"No, I didn't", he said,

"He was the one who put me in smoking. etc. he was a bad influence. He was the one who engineered me to maltreat you", he revealed.

"But you were moody after we reconciled?", I asked

" Yes, because tochukwu saw us together, he approached me and called me a back stabber that he told me he likes you and I took his dream girl. I tried explaining myself but he will hear none of it. He also said that we will pay, I didn't understand him, that's why I was moody, I knew he was up to no good." He said.

" Then why didn't you raise alarm" , I asked, I was talking like a detective

"he is my best friend, I thought he will just maltreat you in school", he said.

Several months later, he said he stopped his bad company, smoking and all of that so we were friends again. So when ijeoma talked about your birthday, I got more details so I went to tochukwu, he asked who it was, I thought since he has forgotten so I innocently said it is you. I bought the meat pies from him for lesser cost. I used ijeoma's name to give them to you." he completed.

" Is that all,?" I asked.

"He was your best friend? What happened?" I continued my investigation.

" We lost contact, when I found out his bad company didn't stop as he said. I was happy every bad was out of my life' He said.

"It's ok" , I said and started parking holding back the tears.

"Ebere, are you alright, you are silent, silent to a fault," Emeka asked.

"What do you want me to say, I killed my son, destroyed my womb, please don't let me transfer my aggression on you, you've done nothing other than saving me." I outbursted we were silent for a while.

"I need to go clear my head", I said and left the house with tears falling down my eyes.

I went to a bar and ordered for more alcohol than a man's fill.

Although I knew the consequences but I was too devastated, to think, I've destroyed my life, finally it was cleared who raped me but it doesn't matter any more

I got drunk, I saw everything faintly, I would have been knocked by a car if Emeka had not seen me quick enough and pulled me from certain danger and brought me home.

I woke up and saw my mom by my side, I felt a slight headache. I was offered some pain killers which I took and dozed off again.

when I woke up my mom said

"How are you feeling,now?"

"it's too devastating but why didn't you tell me?"

I said,

"Because we knew you'll take it hard on yourself.

and yes, we were right', she said.

"Mom please let me start parking", I said getting up from the bed.

"Just be strong" my mom said and left.

I and Emeka travelled we became closer , but I kept pushing him away, I kept withdrawing myself because I felt the chemistry between us and didn't want that chemistry to turn to something deeper due to my damaged womb, I didn't want to tie him down. Sometimes he will visit me, few times I visited him.

One day he promised to take me to dinner in his apartment, he said dinner was going to be one of his delicious sauce and rice. I can still remember teasing him not to prepare what will make me purge. He laughed and said he won't

As we were eating on the fateful day we were talking and teasing each other, the meal was indeed delicious which I didn't believe he prepared, I asked and pressurized him to tell me who actually prepared it until he confessed that he bought the sauce from a restaurant and boiled the rice himself. While we were still eating he said he had a surprise for me, he told me to shut my eye which I did then he said, 'open your eyes'. When I did lo and behold I saw him on his knees holding a box which hosted an engagement ring. Some food were in my mouth I spat them out of surprise and I started crying.

"Emeka, you are a nice, kind dude but I don't deserve someone like you, you told me I can't conceive now you are proposing to me. Emeka you don't know how it feels to see your baby, toddler, being called dad. It's amazing to see your child running towards you, hugging you. I got the chance but I blew it. Don't be stupid. Don't go into a commitment with a womb less woman. I can't bare you offspring emeka. I've been called mom and it's amazing, my parents has been called grandpa, grandma and yours hasn't, don't ruin your life like I already done to myself. No offenses Emeka but you must be very stupid to think of engaging with a woman whose womb is as good as gone" I said in tears and I was about leaving when he drew me back.

"Ebere, according to the doctor's report, your hope of having child is gone but have you asked for God's report. Yes, according to the ordinary man's way I am very stupid, very stupid, but with God I see a fruitful marriage,.."

He was still talking when I interrupted him

"Fruitful and womb less, do they sound or mean alike? No! They are opposite", I said still crying

" Ebere do you love me?" he asked.

"It's not about love"I said waving my head trying not to look at his eyes.

"Ebere I asked you a question look at me straight in the eye do you love me?", he asked again.

"I do love you", I responded looking at his eyes.

"It's settled then", he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

" look, we love each other, if God doesn't give us children, well adopt or use in vitro fertilization (IVF) or something, they are so many ways someone can get children", he assured.

" Genius Emeka, what about your family, will they accept my condition?" I asked.

" When we come to that bridge, we will cross it, God will give us wings we will use to fly over mountains" ,He said.

I and Emeka officially courted for the rest of my NYSC but our families didn't know. After my NYSC, we went back to the village, when we entered my parents' house ,this is what happened.

"Ebere, you are looking so stunning, must be enjoying?", Mum said.

"Yes, I am", I answered.

"Ebere, wait!", she said and came close to me and held my hand which hosted the engagement ring.

"Ebere ", she called and I responded.

"Is this an engagement ring?" she asked. I just smiled. Emeka then explained everything. My mom was very excited but my dad wasn't and I noticed it.

"Emeka", my dad called

"Sir", he responded.

"Come to my room and let's talk", he said so serious and went to his room. My heart beated faster, Emeka noticed my fear, he consoled me saying,

"it's okay, he just wants to talk."

I was so tensed, my mom tried hard to cheer me up but it didn't work. I kept asking when they will they come out from there, how long will they spend there?

They spent closed to 15 minutes which was like hours to me. I was seriously sweating even though the weather was cold. When Emeka came out I drew him to a corner and asked.

"What were you guys talking about? I asked in a silent sound, in a tone which sounded like a wife suspecting the husband of adultery.

"Nothing really, just talked", he lied.

"I know when you lie, you are a terrible liar", I said.

"He just wanted to be sure whether I knew what I was doing, he explained your damaged womb, tried telling me to be wise, so not to marry in regrets for marriage is a lifetime commitment. I asked if he wanted his daughter hurt, he said to avoid more or deeper hurts its better hurts now", Emeka narrated but before he could finish I was already in tears.

"Even my father is not in support of this union, then who will?", I asked rhetorically in my mind.

Emeka noticed my tears and tried to cheer me.

"come on, don't worry, at least your mum is excited about our union", he said trying to console me.

"my mum?, if my dad, my very own dad is not in support of our union then your family is... it won't work", I said in tears.

"listen, listen to me, we are the ones getting married and not them. Nothing will come in between our marriage except death and Gods disapprovement" he said.

"this is Africa, when someone gets married to another, they also married to the family", I explained.

"Ebere, Africa or no Africa we are getting married", he assured.