Awakening The Silver Wolf

DARIUS POV 

I stood at the edge of the clearing, the moonlight casting a silver glow over the makeshift pyres. 

The air was heavy with the scent of wood smoke and the bittersweet fragrance of wildflowers. I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts as the members of my pack gathered behind him, their faces etched with grief.

This never gets easy—the loss. Each of my pack members was like a piece of me. Each time one of them dies, I lose a piece of myself. 

I would have given anything to save them. If it was my life I would gladly give it. Gladly. 

I didn't know all my members personally—that wasn't possible when I had hundreds in my pack—but they were still my responsibility. Their burdens were mine, their pains mine. 

So when one dies, I mourn them like I would mourn anyone close to me. 

The fact that I may be the cause of their death has been eating at me since last night. The rogues had attacked because I had made an enemy of them. 

This was the way I got my pack killed when I marched them to battle. They had no involvement in this war—this war that "he" had started. 

But I couldn't end it, I had to see my goal through. That was what he made me for. 

One by one, I approached each pyre, recalling the bravery of those we had lost. 

"You fought with honor," I began, my voice steady but filled with emotion. "You stood beside us in the darkest of times. Your courage will never be forgotten."

As the flames flickered, I held a small token from each fallen member—a feather, a piece of jewelry, a memento that captured their spirit, brought by their families. 

I placed them gently on the pyres, a tribute to their lives and sacrifices.

"Tonight, we honor not just your memories, but the bond we share," I continued, my voice rising above the crackling flames. "We are stronger for having known you, and we will carry your spirits with us into every battle."

The pack members, eyes glistening with tears, joined in a low howl, a mournful sound that echoed through the trees. 

I raised my head to the sky, feeling the weight of our loss but also the strength of our unity.

"Rest now, my friends. Your deaths shall not be in vain."

I stood there, long after the flame had died down and the pack had returned to the house. I stood there until the sun rose, not once moving from where I stood. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned my head slightly to look at the person. Lucian squeezed my shoulder gently and nodded to the pack house. 

"Go rest," he said, his voice unusually soft. "You've done enough."

My enough will never be enough, but I just nodded and walked back to the house. 

My eyes immediately found Ravenna's as soon as I entered, drawing me in like a moth to a flame. 

Despite how heavy my heart was, I wanted to be near her. I changed my course and walked to her, never taking my eyes off hers. 

I stood close to her, and tried to smile, to let her know I was still the big bad alpha but I couldn't muster the tiniest smile. 

I felt empty, numb. Will losing my members ever get easy? No. And I didn't want it to. I deserve to feel this. 

"Hi," Ravenna said softly.

I couldn't even open my mouth to respond so I just looked at her, hoping my eyes could respond for me. 

And then Ravenna did something that shocked me down to my bones. She hugged me. Tightly and buried her face in my neck. 

Once I overcame my shock I raised my trembling hands and hugged her back, burying my face in her hair and filling my nose with her soothing scent. 

This close to her, her arms tight around me, and mine around her, loosened the knot on my chest and made my eyes sting. 

She was holding me and I wasn't in my wolf form. I held her tighter and tried to keep my emotions at bay. Fuck, my emotions have been all over the place lately. This was so unlike me. 

I typically kept my emotions tightly in check, but ever since this woman came into my life, they've been swirling out of control.

I was a mess. 

"I have never gotten over my mother's death," Ravenna whispered, her voice muffled by my neck. 

"Yeah?" Awesome. I found my voice. 

"Yeah," she replied. "I dream about her a lot. Sometimes I can even feel her—her soft hand in my hair, her scent, her warmth. It's like she's still here with me." She paused. "I know my mother was just one person and you've probably lost many, but I believe they're always with us in some way. The loss lingers, but so does their memory. It's okay to mourn them, Darius. You can cry if you need to; I promise I won't judge." There was a teasing note in her voice, and I couldn't help but scoff, even as my throat tightened.

I held Ravenna closer, tightening my arms around her so hard I'm sure she would find it hard to breathe but I still didn't loosen my hold on her. 

"I still mourn my mother, too," the words slipped out before I could stop it. 

Ravenna tried to pull away but I didn't let her. So she just sighed and asked, "You do?"

Since I already told her I might as well continue. I nodded. "Every day of my life."

"What was she like?"

I shook my head, the once-loose knot tightening in my chest. "Another day." 

The memory of my mother was too painful to revisit. I did my best to not think about those memories, both the sweet and the bitter. 

We stood in silence after that, just Ravenna in my arms, and the pack starting their day. 

I hadn't let myself consider what it would feel like to hold her like this. It was easier that way since I didn't believe Ravenna could ever be mine. Right now, she was simply comforting a broken man, acting out of kindness, not because she had any feelings for me.

But that was alright; I would cherish this moment with her.

"We haven't had our third fight." Ravenna's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. 

I hummed. "We haven't."

Ravenna pulled away and this time I let her, even though I mourned the loss of her warmth. 

She looked up at me with a smirk on her face. "Tired of your own game, Darius?" she teased. 

I snorted. "You wish."

Ravenna's smile widened. "Then we are fighting today."