Awakening The Silver Wolf

RAVENNA POV 

"Ravenna, is that you?"

His voice still sounded the same, still had that deepness that was soft to hear, and had a little bit of rasp to it. I tried to speak but my voice came out choked. So I waited until the tears had subsided and the lump in my throat had cleared a little before I replied, "Yes, Daddy. It's me." 

There came a sound from the other line that sounded like he exhaled. "How have you been, my girl?"

I had to press my fist into my mouth to keep the sob from bursting out, looking up at the ceiling. He called me 'my girl'. He called me 'his' girl. He hasn't called me that since mom died. 

"I'm fine, Daddy," I croaked. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine, Ravenna. Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt?"

I breathed in deeply and got myself under control so I could ask the question that was currently tearing at my insides. "Zara told me something," I began slowly.

I could particularly feel his confusion from this side. "You met Zara?" he asked, the confusion plain in his voice.

"Yes."

"That means you're in…" He trailed out but I knew he already figured out where I was. 

"Zara told you you're not my real father," I burst out. "That mom—the both of you—are not my real parents. Is that true, Daddy?"

The silence that followed was thick and so heavy I could almost taste it. 

I shook my head, almost violently, the tears flying. "Please, tell me it's not true. Please." 

I heard him sigh and I knew. "It's true, Ravenna."

"No," I croaked, my heart ripping anew. 

I had held onto a small denial, thinking maybe Zara was just being a bitch as always, thinking maybe, just maybe I was just overthinking. But it was true.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I screamed, not caring who heard. "Why didn't either of you tell me? You kept me in the dark all my life! Is this why you hate me? You couldn't stand to look at me after Isla died because you couldn't stand to look at the child that wasn't yours, the child she tried to love."

"Ravenna, that's not sure," he said, his voice soft. "I don't hate you, my girl. I never did. I was… I was broken after Isla's death. And even though Isla wasn't your birth mother I saw her in you. I saw her in you when you tried to smile despite how heavy your heart was. When you tried to fix things you didn't break. When you try to love the unlovable. Those were the things I saw in Isla and I saw them in you too. It was never you, my girl. It was me."

"Then why did you let me go?" I asked, my voice barely audible but he heard.

"I'm so sorry, Ravenna. I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't acting like how I was supposed to. I let grief blind me, and I regret it. I might not be your birth father but I love you still, Ravenna. Forgive me for letting you go like that. Forgive me for not stopping it."

I fell to my knees and cried, loud and ugly. Tears and snorts rolled down my face violently. I still held the phone to my ear, not wanting to let him go. 

My heart hurt. My soul felt like it was in pieces. And I was so, so tired. 

"Come back home, Ravenna," my father said softly. "Please."

Could I go back? Could I go back to a pack that never loved me? A pack that treated me like dirt, that didn't see my worth, that didn't even see me at all. Could I go back to that life of invincibility? Of feeling like I was doing everything wrong, of feeling like I wasn't enough.

At least in this pack, they see me. They might not like me but they respected me. I even had a few people here who I could call friends: Mia, Anya, and even cold Lucian. And then Darius. Could I leave him? I didn't want to. Just the thought alone made me feel like I was losing a part of my soul if I left him. 

And so I ended the call because I didn't have anything to say and deleted the number from Mia's call log.

I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head in between them. The sobs had finally stopped and I was starting to feel a little numb.

Could I go back home? I knew deep down that I wouldn't be happy but at least I would be home. And was I happy here? I knew the answer right away.

I stood up and washed my face, looking at my appearance in the mirror. I looked like a witch who performed a failed spell. 

The tears were already cleaned from my face and there was nothing I could do for my red, swollen eyes so I left the bathroom.

Mia was pacing when I entered the room and I knew she had heard everything. Fucking wolves. 

"Hey," she said softly when I handed her her phone pack.

"Hi," I said back.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Will you be okay?"

I paused. "Maybe."

"Will you leave me?"

I walked to her and hugged her even though I was the one who needed the hugging. "No."

Mia's shoulders came down with a sigh. "I'm here for you, Ravenna. Please know that."

I hugged her tighter. "I know."

I left the room and went to find the only person I wanted to see right now. 

I climbed up the stairs to Darius' office and paused when I saw Lucian coming out the door. 

I nodded to him as a greeting. "Is he in?"

Lucian hesitated. I have never seen Lucian hesitate. "No," came his reply.

"Can you tell me where to find him, please?"

He pointed towards the ceiling. "Guest floor."

That meant climbing other stairs. "Thanks.

I climbed the stairs up to the guest floor, my chest heaving. I was never going to get used to these goddamn stairs.

When I finally got to the guest floor, I had to pause, bent over with my palms resting on my knees as I drew in deep breaths. 

I removed my hair from my face and continued in search of Darius. 

What was he doing on the guest floor anyway? I knew his room was next to his office so why was he here? 

The guest floor was quiet, even more quiet than my own floor, and seemed endless with doors on both sides and a red carpet beneath my feet.

I walked for a while, my feet silent on the floor until I stopped when I heard voices. Actually, it was Zara's voice.

I tiptoed to the corner where her voice was coming from and peeped into the corner.

My breath hitched.

Standing there with Zara and Darius. She was wearing a little nightgown that left little to the imagination. And she had her hands on Darius.