Experiment

I was faced with the moral dilemma of whether to kill someone random or someone I wanted to kill. 

Snuffing out the life of someone random was surely evil, but it was impersonal. The murdered one would be just a victim of bad luck, the chosen one of the almighty RNG God. It would not make the significance of the life lost any less. One person's life is, theoretically, as valuable as another's. The 'loss' I cause will be equal in value no matter who I kill. 

On the other hand, killing someone that I had some sort of a reason to kill would certainly make me more evil. The value of the victim's life might be the same, but there would be more purpose and intent behind my action, making it a deliberate act of following self-interest. Ironically, achieving such a murder gives me more value as I do not only get to kill someone but killing that person would serve my purpose, hence making my action more 'evil' than if it was a random victim. But at the same time, since there was a 'reason' for committing such a sin, I could say that if I really picked the correct target, there might be some justification for my action.

So to kill or not to kill was not the question. 

The question was to kill randomly or to kill with a purpose. 

I chose to go with the latter, but I justified myself that it was more for the sake of convenience than anything else. 

My landlord lady lived on the ground floor of the 4-story residential building I lived in, with my own flat being on the top floor. She knew me as a resident in her building so if I rang the bell she'd not find it any suspicious. I would be easily invited into her house, or failing that, I could probably easily lure her to come to mine as well. 

But I'd prefer to have her body rotting in her own flat than in mine, so I figured I'd find a way to talk myself in. 

:Ding dong:

I pressed the bell on the land lady's door as I was squeezing a bit more blood out of the back of my left hand, where I gave myself a small cut. It didn't hurt much with such a light cut but with a bit of squeezing it did provide a lot more dramatic spill of blood than it would otherwise be. 

"Who is it?"

I heard the fifty-something-year-old lady who lived alone shout from inside. 

"Ma'am! It's Yui from the flat 404. Please help me!"

I yelled through the door and heard footsteps approaching fast. 

The landlady opened the door, but with the chain lock still engaged. 

I guess you can never be careful these days.

"I cut my hand by accident and I have no bandages at home"

I thrust my bleeding hand into her view through the gap of the open door. 

"Oh my gosh, what happened to you?"

"Just being clumsy while chopping some onions. Could you help me please?"

"Should I call an ambulance?"

"No, the cut is not so deep. It doesn't hurt much but I need to stop the bleeding I think"

"Sure, come in"

Bingo. 

With that, the kind lady opened the door fully and let me in. 

Not suspecting anything, she immediately turned away from me and hurried toward a cupboard where she probably kept her medicines and the first-aid kits. I followed her and quietly took my kitchen knife out to be ready. 

"Here you go-"

As soon as she said those words, I plunged my knife deep into her stomach. It wasn't like I was wielding a katana or some shit. I figured a direct stab would work better than any fancy slicing move. 

She let out a short yelp and fell straight to the ground, dropping the first-aid kit that she took out from the cupboard to help me.

"I'm sorry, ahjumma, but you were the easiest target"

"What… why are you doing this?!!"

I knew her next words would be a cry for help, so I planted my foot over her mouth, and then slowly shoved in the heel of the heavy boot I chose to wear. She was bleeding quite a bit from her stomach and was now struggling to breathe. 

Shit. I'm not so good at killing people painlessly or quickly. How was I supposed to do this? Axe from the night before was much quicker…

The poor land lady was struggling under my pressing, trying to grab my ankle to take my foot off her mouth. I figured that she seemed to be more uncomfortable with the foot-in-mouth than with the stab wound. 

Well, if this is what bothers her the most right now, it probably is the right spot to keep attacking.

I thought to myself and started to put all my weight down onto that foot, and as I pressed down harder and harder with increased strength, I finally heard some kind of a snap. I must have broken her jaw but her cry for help was as muffled as it could be. 

I didn't know how long it was going to take for her to die just from this. She was obviously in a lot of pain, but this method of killing could take hours and I took pity on her. 

"Shhh. I'm gonna take the foot off your mouth. If you scream, I will kill you. Blink twice if you understand"

The landlady with no option but to obey blinked more than twice, which I took as a double confirmation. 

I slowly took my foot off her mouth and saw that I had broken a few of her teeth too. 

What a ghastly sight…

But the terror I caused was surely effective as the shell-shocked ahjumma didn't dare to make any sound. I slowly knelt over her with my knee pressing down her chest. For a brief moment, it looked like she was going to scream again, but she bravely managed to hold back. 

"Close your eyes"

She was now completely submissive and did as she was told.

I felt disgusted with myself. When I did horrible things to the current Haein when we first met, there was a sense of excitement and perverse joy in making the cute girl suffer. But seeing an unattractive ahjumma's face covered in tears, snot and blood turned my stomach. 

I better end this quickly. 

As the now obedient lady kept her eyes closed as promised, I got off her chest and crouched next to her head. 

She must be thinking she's gonna survive this now. 

I was only a beginner murderess so I didn't know what were the best ways to kill someone with a knife, so I improvised. 

I placed the kitchen knife across her throat, not quite touching it so she wouldn't panic. Then I placed one foot on the back of the knife while the blade side was pointing downward, and after a count of three, I pressed it down as hard I could by placing my whole weight on it. 

The landlady let out a loud choking sound but could not even scream as all she could do was gurgle in her own blood. I kept my foot on the knife for a good minute or two until I was more than pretty sure that she was dead. 

Hugh… so I've done it again…

I wiped the bloody knife on the dead lady's clothes and left her house to come back to mine. I looked myself in the mirror and found that the blood splashed everywhere on me as well. 

I should research some cleaner ways of doing this.

But today was just an experiment and now that the setup was done, I only needed to do the final test. 

I walked back to the wall in my room, dabbed on the same spot I hit before, and landed a full-strength punch on it just as I had tried earlier. I then brought my eyes closer to the wall to inspect and was overjoyed that I was right with my theory. 

My punch made a very small and slight, but definite crack on the concrete wall.