Someone who deserves it

Although I suspected, in principle, that there may be a way for me to go 'berserk' as Haein pointed out which could bring me incredible power (again, why me?), the fact that my strength was gone when I came back to the 'normal' stage after killing those motherfuckers meant it didn't seem to be a usable ability. 

First of all, I've been through a lot of hairy moments in my life but this ability never presented itself before. When it did come, it was in the absolute worst ultimate moment of despair that it happened. It's not like I could have a few guys ready to attempt to rape me when I encounter the Hell Beast. And no matter how strong I might have become during my berserk state, there was no way that it could be comparable to what the Beast was capable of. 

It was something to keep in mind, but as things stood, it wasn't something I could count on in any sense. 

The only reliable source of increasing power was to take people's lives the old-fashioned way.