Lily's Lingering Feelings

I sat in class, listening to the teacher's voice that seemed distant and echoing, like the chirping of birds in the morning—repetitive, monotonous, relentless. My notebook was already filled with scribbles, whether they were notes from the lesson or random shapes that appeared as my mind drifted. In front of me, the blackboard was covered in math formulas that I was sure would have no impact on my real life, but of course, our teacher was enthusiastic about explaining them.

I glanced out the classroom window, watching clouds floating in the bright blue sky. Sometimes, I imagined being one of those clouds, free from school rules or any responsibilities, drifting aimlessly, just following the wind.

However, my daydream didn't last long because suddenly, I heard someone calling my name, "Lilianne! Hey, Lilianne!"

Reflexively, I turned to see my friend Sofia standing next to my desk. "Lily, were you listening?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, sorry, Sof. I was daydreaming," I replied, trying to smile as if nothing was wrong.

I was still a bit startled to hear that name—Lilianne. It was the name my sister, Ellora, had chosen for me. My full name here is Lilianne Grandella. It felt so far from my real name. When we arrived in Aurelius, we changed our names to aliases for safety, she said. Names meant to conceal our identities so that no one would know we came from the kingdom of Evernoir.

Ellora took the surname of Katya Dmitrievna Kudryavtseva and became Luna Dmitrievna Kudryavtseva, while I, of course, had to settle for the name Lilianne Grandella, adopting the surname of Arianne Grandella. This name sometimes made me feel estranged from myself. But honestly, everything my sister did—this charade in the kingdom of Aurelius, living under a false name, pretending to be an ordinary citizen—only reminded me of one thing: that Evernoir, our former home, was merely a fading memory.

"Lily? Are you still with us?" Sofia waved her hand in front of my face, pulling me back to reality.

"Oh right, what were you saying?" I asked, smiling awkwardly.

"I was asking if you wanted to have lunch with me and the others? I happen to have some extra food today," she said, holding up her lunchbox. Her smile was sincere, and I felt a little touched. Even though this was all a charade, at least I had good friends here.

I nodded. "Yeah, of course. Thanks for inviting me, Sof." We walked out of class together toward the garden behind the school building, a place that was usually quiet because not many students came there. A few other friends were already sitting there—Tom, engrossed in his book, and Melisa, happily fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist.

Sofia quickly took out her lunchbox and offered us some of its contents. "I made extra sandwiches this morning; anyone want some?"

"Wow, they look delicious," Melisa said, grabbing a sandwich and smiling widely at Sofia. "Thanks, Sof! If I made my own sandwiches, they'd probably burn."

I chuckled at Melisa's joke and took a sandwich as well. "You're really a great cook, Sof. I rarely make my own lunch; I usually just buy from the cafeteria."

Sofia laughed and shook her head. "Ah, it's nothing special. Besides, my mom taught me, so I just follow her instructions."

Tom, sitting next to me, looked up from his book. "Lily, how was class earlier? You seemed a bit out of it."

I gave a weak smile and nodded. "Yeah, I... had a hard time focusing. I guess math isn't really my strong suit."

They all laughed, including me. Our laughter sounded warm amidst the usually rigid school atmosphere. Moments like this sometimes made me forget that all of this was a lie. The name Lilianne, my life as an ordinary student, my new friends—everything was just a curtain hiding the truth of who I really was.

Sofia looked at me with concern in her eyes. "You've seemed a bit distracted lately, Lily. Is something bothering you?"

I paused, feeling her genuine concern. But how could I share everything with them? About how my sister and I were forced to leave our kingdom, witnessing our home's destruction, losing my brother, who we might never find again? There was no way. So, I just smiled and said, "It's just… maybe a bit of stress from the upcoming exams."

"Oh, yeah, that's true," Melisa replied, nodding in agreement. "The exam next week is really keeping me up at night. I'm even thinking about asking for extra tutoring."

Our conversation shifted to topics surrounding the exams, lessons, and daily school life. I followed along with their chatter, even though part of my mind still wandered far away. After all, they made me feel normal, even if just for a moment. This lunch, filled with laughter and small complaints, brought me a sense of peace that I struggled to find at home.

But amidst the conversation, I felt a wave of emotions that I couldn't suppress. I thought again about Arche, my lost brother. He disappeared during the fall of Evernoir, and since then, there had been no word about him. I still felt anger toward Ellora, who seemed so calm about it, as if everything would be fine without effort.

I sighed deeply, and Tom noticed.

"Lily, you really seem unfocused today," he said, gently nudging my arm. "That exam must really be stressing you out."

I offered a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, maybe that's true."

Sofia gently patted my back. "Hey, don't worry. An exam is just an exam. We're all here to help each other, right? Whatever happens, you're not alone, Lilianne."

I was taken aback by her words. For a moment, I felt genuinely accepted, as if they truly regarded me as a part of their lives. My heart felt a little lighter, even though I knew my true identity remained hidden behind this alias. But I thought, as long as there were people like Sofia, Tom, and Melisa, maybe I could find peace in this new world.

Finally, the break ended, and we returned to class. Before parting, Sofia touched my arm and said, "Lily, whenever you need a friend to talk to or just vent, you know I'm always here, right?"

I smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Sof. You're truly a good friend."

Even though they might never know the truth about who I am, for now, I felt grateful to be here with them. Sitting back in class, I felt a little calmer. Even though I was no longer the princess of Evernoir, here in Aurelius, at least I had a place where I could find simple happiness, even if it was just for a moment.

***

The school bell finally rang, signaling the end of today's classes. The lively chatter of my classmates filled the room as they eagerly packed their books and supplies. I sighed, feeling a little sick of the same old routine that seemed never to change.

As I tried to slowly fit my books into my bag, I glanced at my friends, laughing and joking with one another. Today, they looked especially cheerful, planning their afternoon activities. Meanwhile, deep down, I knew this afternoon marked the beginning of a much bigger journey. I understood I wouldn't be heading home like usual. I was going to do what I had long been planning, even though Ellora had forbidden me, and I knew Arianne would worry.

"Lily, aren't you coming home with us?" Sofia asked as she approached me.

"Oh, no need. I have a little errand to run; I might be home a bit late today," I said with a casual smile, hoping Sofia wouldn't pry any further.

"Oh, okay. If you need any help or anything, just let me know, alright?"

"Yeah, thanks, Sof." I gently patted her shoulder, feeling the sincerity in her eyes. Somehow, I felt guilty for leaving them without an explanation. But this was something I had to do on my own.

As I stepped out of the classroom, I saw Sofia waving from a distance, and I returned her gesture with a small smile. Once I was sure no one was watching, I took a different path from the one I usually took. Normally, I would head toward the school gate where Arianne would be waiting patiently. But this time, I chose to turn back and take the narrow path beside the school building. My heart raced with a mix of nerves and excitement.

My steps felt light as I walked toward the nearest bus stop, even though I knew this journey wouldn't be easy. Everything I had experienced—the destroyed kingdom, the broken family, Arche's disappearance—made me feel as if my life was just a shadow of a past I could never catch up to. Last night, after much contemplation, I realized I couldn't go on living without finding out what really happened to Arche. If Ellora wouldn't look for him, then I had to do it myself.

Arriving at the bus stop, I sat on a bench, waiting for the bus that would take me to the city center. The evening breeze played with my hair, bringing the scents of damp leaves and warm asphalt warmed by the sun. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. After all, this was a big step, something that would change my life. I imagined Arianne still standing at the school gate, probably starting to worry because I hadn't shown up yet. But I'm sorry, Arianne. I couldn't keep living this life full of lies.

Moments later, the bus I was waiting for arrived. I stepped on, feeling my heart race even faster. I scanned the interior, ensuring there were no familiar faces. Once I was sure I was safe, I sat down by the window, gazing outside while thinking about my next steps.

"Come on, Lily, you can do this," I murmured to myself, trying to encourage my own spirit. I began to map out what I needed to do once I reached the city center. I knew the border gate of the Aurelius kingdom wouldn't be easy to reach, especially without permission and without a private vehicle. But I didn't care. The desire to find Arche outweighed my fear of facing the obstacles ahead.

The bus stopped at various stations, letting off and picking up passengers. I watched people board with indifferent expressions, oblivious to the teenage girl with a large school bag sitting by the window. They probably thought I was just heading home from school like most other students. If only they knew I was planning something far bigger than merely going home.

After about half an hour, I arrived in the city center. The sky was starting to change color, darkening as night approached. I got off the bus, and a wave of nervousness enveloped me again. Looking at the tall buildings and bustling streets, I felt a little lost. But I quickly took a deep breath and began walking toward the next train station that would take me closer to the border.

I moved quickly, dodging crowds of people caught up in their own business. Walking among them made me feel small, but it also fueled my determination to keep going. Arche must have felt the same—lonely, confused, and uncertain. But for the sake of finding him, I would face whatever came my way.

Upon arriving at the station, I bought my ticket and boarded the train that would take me closer to the outskirts of town, toward the border I hoped to cross without raising suspicion. As the train began to move, I felt my heart race, as if this were the final moment before the real adventure began.

My daydreaming was interrupted when suddenly, a train officer approached to check tickets. I handed mine over, keeping my gaze straight ahead, hoping no one would ask too many questions. The officer merely nodded and moved on, leaving me alone in my seat.

"Arche…" I whispered quietly, calling his name in my heart. "Wherever you are, I will find you. No matter what happens, I promise."

Finally, the train arrived at the last station before the border. I stepped off with determination, ignoring the fatigue and the chill of the evening air. I knew this journey was still long and fraught with challenges. But I also knew I had to keep moving forward, even if it meant doing it alone.

I walked toward the border gate, anxiety swelling within me as I gazed at the guards. Beyond that gate lay the path to freedom, a chance to finally find Arche. Yet the sight of the armored guards, weapons hanging from their belts, filled me with an overwhelming fear. They scrutinized every person, vehicle, and piece of luggage. If I were caught trying to leave without an adult, I would likely be seen as a border violator or an illegal immigrant.

Holding my breath, I tried to devise a plan in my mind. But it wasn't that simple. The longer I stood there, the more real the possibility of being discovered became. How could a schoolgirl like me possibly slip past the border gate alone without drawing attention?

Unconsciously, I bit my lip. Panic surged as a guard approached my position to patrol the area. I quickly scanned for a hiding spot and turned to find a narrow, deserted alley. I dashed into it, trying to calm my racing heart. Here, I sought to steady myself and looked around for a way out.

Maybe, I thought, I could sneak into someone's vehicle. If I pretended to be a legitimate passenger, perhaps they wouldn't notice until I was far from this border.

But just as I was about to step out from the shadows of the alley, a familiar voice filled the air around me.

"Princess Lily…" The voice I knew so well called my name.

I jumped and turned toward the source of the voice. There, at the edge of the alley, stood Arianne. Her face looked serene yet worried, her eyes filled with a familiar concern. In disbelief, I felt my body tense. "A-Arianne… How did you get here?"

"Where are you going, Princess Lily?" she asked gently.

"Stay out of this, Arianne!" I shouted, trying to mask my unease with a sharp tone. "I don't want to go home. Don't follow me!"

Arianne stood her ground, her voice as soft as the evening breeze. "Please listen to me first, Princess Lily. I'm not here to stop you. I just… I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Please, Arianne! Leave me alone!" I stepped back, my gaze fixed on her with a mix of hatred and fear. She was one of them, people who had let me live in the shadow of Arche's absence without certainty.

Arianne showed no sign of leaving. Her eyes held an understanding look, but I didn't want her pity. I wanted to be free! I wanted to escape the lies Ellora had spun.

"You don't understand what I'm feeling, Arianne," my voice cracked. "Arche is my brother. He's the family I truly care about. While Ellora… she's just pretending, going on with her life without a care. She's never even tried to look for Arche!"

Arianne lowered her head for a moment before stepping closer to me. I backed away, feeling the alley grow tighter. Arianne moved slowly, cautiously, like a mother trying to soothe her angry child.

"Prince Archemidas will return, Lily," she said softly. "Ellora believes he will come back, and I believe it too. You don't need to put yourself in danger like this just to look for him."

"Arche will come back?" I asked cynically, my voice laced with sarcasm. "Is that just an excuse Ellora uses to make me stop searching? I've waited for three years, Arianne! Three years without certainty. And Ellora hasn't shown any effort to find him. I'm sick of this!"

Arianne stared at me, seeming hesitant to respond. Her expression shifted, as if something weighed on her that she was holding back. For some reason, my anger swelled. I knew they were all lying, covering up what had really happened to Arche.

"Please, Princess Lily… go back home. You don't know how dangerous it is if you try to leave alone."

I laughed, a bitter sound filled with anger and sorrow. "Dangerous?" I repeated mockingly. "To me, it's far more dangerous to keep living in Ellora's shadow, surrounded by all her lies."

Seeing my reaction, Arianne looked even more confused and hurt. I almost felt sorry for her, but my anger was much stronger than any sympathy I could muster.

"I'm sorry, Princess Lily," she said softly, her voice trembling. "I'm sorry for all of this."

I rolled my eyes, tired of hearing empty apologies. But suddenly, my body felt a strange sensation. In an instant, my legs weakened, and my head felt light. I tried to fight it, but my entire body grew weaker. My vision started to blur; I could barely see Arianne standing in front of me, her face wet with tears.

"Arianne… what are you doing?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

She stepped closer, gently embracing my weakening body. Her tears flowed freely, wetting her face as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Lily. I know you'll hate us for this, and I don't blame you for that…"

My sobs broke free amidst the exhaustion and deepening pain. "I… hate… Ellora…"

With my vision growing dimmer, I could only see Arianne's face filled with regret. And before everything faded into darkness, I felt her warm, gentle embrace, like a mother unwilling to let go of her child.

***