The Weight of Fate on My Heart

"But what does that have to do with a kid like me? I haven't even properly chosen my path in life" Lucian curiously questions Gideon.

"The path that you walk in life isn't chosen by the person themselves, it's chosen by that person's fate" Gideon says to Lucian as he writes something in the diary.

Lucian stared at Gideon, his mind racing. The words Gideon just said felt heavy to him, even ominous.

"Fate? I thought fate was something we were supposed to defy, not follow blindly." Lucian said with determination.

Gideon chuckled, a deep sound that rumbled through the small room.

"You can try to defy it, sure. But fate has a funny way of pulling us back to where we're meant to be, And when someone like you tries to challenge fate by taking reckless risks—well, it gives you a sharp reminder, doesn't it?" Gideon says with a sly smile as he closes the diary in his hand.

Lucian's face is twisted in confusion.

"So... I was supposed to fail? You wanted me to push myself so far I nearly died?" Lucian says with a confused tone in his voice as he wonders about the motives behind Gideon's action.

"Not exactly," Gideon sighed.

"But I wanted you to understand that sometimes, no matter how much talent or strength you have, there are forces beyond your control. Channeling mana into your heart? That's not something a novice should even think about doing. You were chasing power too quickly."

Lucian's fists clenched at the sheets. He wanted to argue, to tell Gideon that he was ready, that he could handle more than the average person—but then, the memory of the excruciating pain washed over him. His muscles burning, veins shrinking, the sensation of his own body tearing itself apart.

"I was too impatient," Lucian admitted quietly. The admission tasted bitter to him.

"That's part of the lesson." Gideon's voice softened, his anger now tempered by concern.

 "Channeling isn't about brute force or pouring all your mana into one shot. It's about flow, harmony. You have to let the mana guide you, not the other way around."

Gideon's words were like heavy weights that weighed down the confidence Lucian once had, making him think not only of his current life but also the one he lived previously, The pain and near-death experience weren't just a punishment for his arrogance, it was a reminder of what he has now and what he had lost in the past that being his life.

"I was scared, scared that I would be left behind, scared of just being a nobody" Lucian spoke with his head down clenches his fists.

Gideon gets up with the diary in his hand and walks toward Lucian who with his head still down was clenching his fist tightly, Gideon then places his hand on Lucian's shoulder and crouched down to speak.

"Take this." Gideon says to Lucian as he hands Lucian the diary he had been holding, as Lucian held the diary he got curious about the contents in it and asked.

"What's this?" Lucian asked looking at the front and the back of the diary while puzzled and curious.

"You said you were afraid of being a nobody right, this diary here will show you a way to be yourself." Gideon spoke with Clarity in his voice as if he was confident in the contents of the diary.

"Be myself? What's in it?" Lucian asked as he looked at the diary with a curious gaze.

The diary looked old with a cover that seemed to be made of some sort of tough but smooth leather, the diary was small in size but felt heavy.

"You can find that out yourself, but for now you need to go home your dad is here." Gideon says as he walks towards the door.

Lucian jumped out of the bed with the diary in hand, as he moved quickly Lucian felt a sharp pain in his heart but it wasn't anything compared to what he went through before.

"Wait aren't you going to tell me anything more about this diary, is it yours?" Lucian asked as he puts his hand on his chest trying to push through the pain.

"As I told you, you can find that out for yourself but for now lay back down on the bed, I have to make some excuse to your father on why his son is hurt on his first day of training with me" Gideon opens the door and leaves.