Irony of The Spineless

"…So you aren't pregnant?"

"Of course not!"

Seele shouted at Sunny with a furious scowl on her face. He had dragged her here in order to confirm something with her, but it seemed like he was worried for nothing.

However, he was confused.

"But… but we kissed!"

Her brow twitched.

"…That was an accident. Didn't I tell you not to bring it up again?"

Sunny shook his head.

"Even so, this is more important! Oleg even sent me a hidden message to convey what happened… that sly old man."

He thought for a moment, before confidently saying:

"You can't keep denying it! Even if it was an accident, that's not the baby's fault! I think you have been heavily irresponsible for hiding—"

Sunny grunted as he was suddenly chopped on the top of his head — with a surprising amount of strength as well.

Seele sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"One: I'm not pregnant. Two: We didn't do anything that would get me pregnant."

Sunny paused.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

Something wasn't adding up. When he was a child, his mother had told him that the physical contact of a person's oral cavities created a child. Naturally, his mother would never lie to him about something so important to the human life cycle, so was Seele lying?

But why would she do that? There was an obvious sign that a baby was growing some time after the trigger, so there would be no benefit to hiding it.

With a perplexed expression, Sunny hesitantly asked:

"If that's the case, how are babies really made?"

Seele grimaced as she sent him a strange look. Somehow, it seemed that the question wasn't something that he should have asked.

Around a minute later, Sunny had a look of understanding on his face.

"Oh. It's just sex."

For some reason, Seele looked baffled.

"…So you know what that is, but not how babies are made? How does that make sense?!"

Sunny simply shrugged.

"Where I come from, people aren't very quiet about those types of things. I knew what it was since I was eight…"

His face contorted into an expression of disgust.

"I thought people just did it for fun, I guess. It seemed pretty gross though…"

Suddenly, he recalled something that happened only a few days ago.

'Wait… so when Sparkle… doesn't that mean…?'

…Why did everything have to be so confusing? Couldn't people just hold hands and hug each other? What could possibly be so interesting about the mixing of bodily fluids?

'…Maybe I should stop thinking about whether or not the closest person I know wants to make babies with me.'

Honestly, Sunny couldn't think about his parents the same.

A curious look appeared on Seele's face.

"You should be around my age. How did you get by for so long without knowing something as basic as this?"

Sunny smiled as he felt a sense of superiority well up inside him.

"Well it's not like I had anyone to explain something like that, nor did I have an education. Where I'm from, you have to fend for yourself, and only yourself. While you've been living in your winter wonderland with your pretty doctor, I was fighting for my life!"

Maybe he would have known if it wasn't for the gap in his memories. He felt like this was one of those pieces of general knowledge that he should have remembered though…

'Maybe I should ask Sparkle.'

There was a good chance the Masked Fool wouldn't know though… after all, how could someone perfectly keep track of another person's knowledge.

…Well, it was Sparkle. Knowing her, they might have had a talk similar to the one he was having with Seele — except much more suggestive.

Either way, it looked like Oleg wasn't trying to send him a secret message. To be honest, that might have been quite the stretch.

Now that he was looking at things clearly…

'So corny…'

Well, Sunny will just accept his loss as a businessman and return. From the shadow he had left behind, it seemed like they were discussing how they should confront Svarog in order to learn about the Stellaron's whereabouts.

"We should probably get back—"

A hand slammed against the wall, pinning Sunny as he turned around in hesitant acceptance.

Staring into Veliona's red eyes, he asked:

"You're not going to do anything rash, right? If I were you, I know I wouldn't."

She grinned, a deep blush covering her face.

"Maybe I will. Besides, now that you don't have to worry about babies, you wouldn't mind, right?"

'…Was that supposed to be funny?'

For something that was less than a year old, she developed a sense of humor surprisingly fast. Honestly, Sunny would have been impressed if he wasn't aware of the fact that his lips were about to be ravaged.

"Actually, I do mind."

"Shut up."

"Yes Ma'am."

'Ah shit, here we go again.'

The Gloomy shadow laughed at his misfortune, while Haughty seemed indignant at how easily Sunny had backed down.

***

Rubbing the bruises on his neck, Sunny looked down at the curled-up Seele. Her head was tucked between her knees, hiding her expression.

"…Again, if you tell anyone, I'll kill you."

Sunny replied in a lighthearted manner.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Maybe you should think of a way to convince her to be a little more gentle with me."

Seele's head rose slightly, revealing her glaring purple orbs.

"Gentle? What are you, a fair maiden?"

"At least I'm not a third wheel. Voyeur."

Her expression shifted as she covered her entire face once more.

"It's like you know everything except for how babies are made!"

Sunny's gaze shifted to a random spot in the tunnel they were in, staring blankly at a wall.

"Yes… that is strange, isn't it?"

A strange feeling of unease appeared, before quickly disappearing.

'What was I thinking about again?'

Shaking meaningless thoughts out of his head, Sunny stared down at Seele.

"With my current state, it's pretty obvious what happened — even if you weren't involved. Voyeur."

"Don't repeat it!"

Ignoring her, Sunny thought about the best way to explain this.

…But what if he didn't need to explain it?

With a grin on his face, Sunny raised his hand… before slapping himself. Looking through his shadow, he saw a red handprint on his face.

'My intelligence is unmatched!'

Looking back towards Seele — who was peeking at him due to the noise — he said:

"Stand up and make yourself look angry. If they mistake these marks… whatever they're called… for normal bruises, then we could pretend that you simply beat me up."

***

Unsurprisingly, Sunny's genius plan worked. March simply grimaced when she saw the marks on his skin, while Dan Heng's expression didn't change one bit.

However…

'Are they not worried that I'm being abused? How spineless…'

As he approached the two of them, Dan Heng spoke.

"We talked to Oleg about a few things. We might have a new course of action."

Sunny nodded.

"I was listening in on the whole thing, so you don't need to explain."

The Happy shadow slipped away from March, who yelped as the jolly fellow glided over to Sunny.

He turned to Seele.

"I'll bring these two to the hotel. Go tell your boss that I'm not giving up such a valuable asset."

Seele opened her mouth to speak, before simply shaking her head in exasperation. She turned away as she went in the direction of Oleg.

Slightly disappointed at the lack of a snarky remark, Sunny turned his Trailblazing companions.

"Well… I guess we have to go now."

***

Rolling around in his hotel bed, Sunny frowned towards the ceiling. Not only did he have irregular moments where he simply passed out, but it seemed like the opposite was true as well.

Sighing, Sunny summoned the Finality's Farewell. He allowed the shadows to pull him in, bringing him to the empty lobby of the Goethe Grand Hotel.

He had originally thought that the name was supposed to be a jab at the Goethe Hotel in the Overworld, but it turned out that the one on top was actually a branch of the main one down in the Underworld.

'Should have swapped the names.'

At least nobody was getting arrested in this one. Hopefully…

Walking out of the hotel, he faced Bronya, who had flinched when he opened the door.

There was no night sky in the Underworld, as the only thing above was the underside of the Overworld. There was a good chance that most of the people down her hadn't seen the sky even once in their lives.

"Oh… I forgot you were here."

Bronya bristled at his innocent remark.

"That's quite rude."

She lingered for a moment.

"Actually, seeing as there's no one around... can I ask you some things?"

Not seeing any issue with that, Sunny simply nodded. He had his own questions he wanted to ask.

"This Stellaron you speak of... if you were to find it, how sure are you that you could stop the Eternal Freeze?"

…Now that he thought about it, would getting rid of the Stellaron really work? He didn't have any past experience to draw on… probably.

Shrugging, Sunny replied with:

"Anything is possible. Maybe your planet will just explode when we find the Stellaron."

A crooked smile appeared on her face.

"Although I appreciate you being sincere, that doesn't exactly fill me with confidence."

A short laugh escaped Sunny.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I'll save Belobog."

He said that he would do it himself. The reason for that was — unlike Dan Heng and March — Sunny had a grudge to settle.

The world had practically damned this frozen hellscape, so it was only natural that he would become it's salvation. He had made a promise after all.

As Sunny looked at the girl in front of him, his gaze darkened.

"Are you really okay with killing your mother?"

Her eyes widened.

Bronya didn't say anything for a moment, before quietly saying.

"Of course not. But if it's necessary for Belobog… then…"

Sunny listened to her for a moment, before sighing.

"To me, you sound too indecisive. If you ever need to make that choice, you should figure that out beforehand. I don't think anyone would blame you no matter what choice you make."

Anybody that did simply wasn't human. It was only natural for someone to struggle with choosing the life of someone close to them, or the lives of people they hadn't even met.

Bronya paused as she licked her lips.

"What would you do?"

Sunny blinked in confusion. Why would she ask him of all people?

"…I'm not the best person to ask. To me, it's pretty simple. Even if countless lives were at stake, I would choose my family."

Looking up at the Overworld, Sunny idly wondered how Rain was doing. She was probably living a happy life with that family of hers. A life without him in it.

It was better that way.

"…As I said, nobody would blame you… well maybe they would."

Feeling a little awkward, Sunny continued.

"No matter what you choose, I wouldn't blame you."

Bronya stared at him strangely for a bit, before a soft smile appeared on her face.

"Is that so? I suppose I should thank you then, Sunny. You're quite the admirable person."

She seemed to mutter something else under her breath, but Sunny couldn't hear it.

Blushing slightly from the compliment, he attempted to change the subject.

"But… I don't think you should make any hasty decisions yet. We still don't know enough about the situation."

A more serious expression appeared on Bronya's face.

"Yes, there are some… inconsistencies I've found."