Chapter V

As we got out of the uber and made our way towards the woods, another wave of melancholy hit me.

I glanced down at Nina, still wrapped around me, hoping she hadn't noticed.

...

She hadn't.

So why did that bother me?

I didn't want her to notice but the fact that she hadn't made me upset?

Why?

Why does no one ever notice when I'm hurting? A little voice inside me said.

That's not true.

No one notices, except him.

He knew.

He could always tell when something was the matter.

No matter how small the issue; no matter how stupid the reason for me to be upset, he would always be able to tell.

It was always only him.

The sound of music and laughter came through the trees as we headed into the forest and I realised I had zoned out again.

Maybe I should be worried.

Surely it wasn't healthy zoning out so much.

The faint glow of firelight became more and more visible the deeper in we went, along with the smell of smoke and alcohol.

The bass line of the music thrummed in the air, making it feel like my chest was vibrating.

It was unpleasant.

Apart from the light of the fire and the glow of the glow sticks people had adorned on their persons, everything was dark.

We stepped forward into a clearing full of people and noise.

It was way too loud.

If I thought it was unpleasant earlier, it was so much worse now.

I could feel Nina drag me forwards to the firepit and I let myself stumble after her.

She pulled me down onto one of the logs and went to get some drinks for us.

I gazed after her for a bit and returned my gaze to the blazing fire in front of me.

I was so close I could feel the heat radiating onto my face and through my thin clothes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rory go up to a group of his other friends.

He seemed happier with them.

Good.

Nina came back and handed me a can of beer.

I took it and put it down by my feet.

Looking over, I see Nina take a scruchy off of her wrist and turn it into some sort of drink cap, putting it on her can after she takes a swig of the putrid alcohol inside.

She puts it down next to my drink and leans over to me, wrapping her arms around my torso and resting her head against my chest.

I let her hug me.

I don't return the affection.

I probably should but i just couldn't bring myself to do it.

She pouts slightly and mumbles something I can't hear.

I don't ask her to repeat it.

I see Rory glancing over, that strange expression back on his face.

Was he... jealous, maybe?

Jealous of what?

Of me and Nina?

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

It's too loud for me to think anything right now, too crowded.

Too many people.

Too many different people all in one crowded space.

Too many people that aren't him.