Chapter IX

I made my way to my first class of the day.

History.

I hates this class.

The teacher always got things wrong.

As I walked through the door, I saw someone sitting in the usually empty space next to my seat, staring out of the window.

They had sandy hair.

Just yesterday I was thinking that I wanted to get closer to them and now this?

Was the heavens laughing at me?

Oh how fun it must be to play with me like this.

I inwardly swore at the gods I didn't believe in.

Schooling my expression, I walked over to our shared desk, all the while I kept my eyes trained on the ground.

I couldn't look at him.

Not after what happened at the party.

I squeezed past the back of his chair to my window seat and pulled my own out from under the table. I sat down, slinging my backpack under the table as I did so.

I kept my eyes focused on the desk, but in my peripheral vision, I could see him staring at me.

No matter how much he stared, I kept my eyes firmly trained on the cheap wooden desk.

It felt like an eternity before the lunch bell rang.

Every now and then, my hand would subconsciously try to go to the locket around my neck, but each time, I stopped myself.

I arrived at the cafeteria and got my lunch.

When walking to my seat with Nina and Rory, I could feel everyone's eyes on me.

Did the whole school know what happened at the party?

As I sat down, whatever Nina and Rory had been talking about before I arrived, they dropped to stare blankly at me.

Were they going to make fun of me, too?

I stared at the food on my plate, pushing it around with my fork.

After a while, Nina spoke up.

"Hey... are you okay?"

I looked up at her., slightly surprise on my face.

"Yeah, bro. You seem kinda... distracted." Rory commented.

Distracted...

My hand instinctively went to the locket and i played around with it in my fingers, finding comfort in the familiarity of the motion.

"Distracted..." I muttered to myself.

The concern on their faces grew as I said that.

"Yeah.." Rory said. "Distracted. Are you okay? Is it about... what happened at the party?"

"You can tell us." Nina added. "We won't judge you."

...

If someone says they won't judge you, they definitely will judge you.

No way am I telling them anything.

I can't tell anyone anything.

No one will understand.

They'd try to send me back there again.

No way in hell am I going back to a place like that.

If it meant lying to myself and everyone around me, as long as I didn't have to be locked up in a place full nut jobs again, I'd willing suffer everything alone.

I can't tell anyone.

I looked up at Nina and Rory.

The expression on their faces..

Were they...

Scared of me?

I masked my expression, returning it to a blank stare.

I must not let anyone see the true me.