Chapter 4: The Edge of Something New

The next few days fly by in a blur.

School's as hectic as ever, and Jack's relentless about the bonfire.

By Thursday, it feels like half the senior class is talking about it.

There's this buzz of excitement in the air, like it's not just another party but something bigger.

Maybe it's because graduation is creeping up, and everyone knows that the days of carefree weekends like this are numbered.

Ethan's been quieter lately, though.

He still hangs out with us, but there's something off, something I can't quite put my finger on.

I want to ask him about it again, but I hesitate, not wanting to push.

What if it's nothing? Or worse, what if it's something I can't help with?

By the time Friday afternoon rolls around, Jack's practically bouncing off the walls. We're grabbing our books from our lockers when he slams mine shut with a loud thud.

"Dude! Let's go, the weekend's starting early!" Jack shouts, grinning like he's already had five Red Bulls.

I roll my eyes but laugh. "Relax, man. The bonfire's not for a few hours."

"Yeah, but we gotta get ready, pick up snacks, and, y'know, mentally prepare for how epic this is gonna be. Plus, we're grabbing Ethan, remember?"

That catches my attention. "Ethan's coming?"

"Yep," Jack says, pulling out his phone. "Finally convinced him. He texted me earlier saying he'd go, but only if we promised not to ditch him."

I smile, shaking my head. "Sounds like Ethan."

As we head to the parking lot, my stomach does a weird little flip.

I can't help it knowing Ethan's coming along has me feeling… excited? Nervous? It's stupid.

He's my friend. But the way I've been thinking about him lately it's hard to ignore the strange pull he has on me.

We swing by Ethan's place on the way to the store.

When he gets in the car, he looks different less guarded than he's been all week.

He gives me a small smile, and I feel that familiar warmth spread through me.

"So, you're actually coming?" I ask, teasing him.

He shrugs, glancing at me. "Yeah, figured I'd regret it if I didn't. Plus, someone's gotta keep you and Jack out of trouble."

Jack scoffs from the driver's seat. "We don't get into trouble we create it. Big difference."

Ethan laughs, and I catch myself staring again.

He seems lighter today, like the weight he's been carrying all week has eased up a bit.

I want to ask him what changed, but the words get stuck in my throat.

Instead, I just sit there, content to listen to his laugh.

By the time we get to the bonfire, the sun's starting to dip below the horizon, casting this golden glow over the field where everyone's gathering.

There's already a huge group of seniors milling around, some setting up the fire pit, others hauling coolers out of cars.

It feels like the whole school's here.

Jack parks the car, and we all climb out. Ethan stands next to me, watching the crowd with an expression I can't quite read.

"Nervous?" I ask, nudging him lightly.

He shakes his head. "Not nervous. Just… this isn't really my scene, y'know?"

"You'll be fine," I say, smiling. "We'll stick together."

That seems to relax him a bit, and for the first time tonight, I feel like maybe I'm helping, even if I don't know exactly how.

We grab some drinks and find a spot by the fire as more people arrive.

Jack, true to form, is already in full party mode, chatting up half the group and dragging us into conversations with people I barely know.

But Ethan and I mostly hang back, content to watch and talk quietly.

The fire crackles, the heat from the flames mixing with the cool night air.

People are laughing, talking, and the sky's getting darker, stars just starting to peek through the twilight.

After a while, Jack disappears to talk to some girl, leaving me and Ethan alone by the fire. There's a comfortable silence between us, broken only by the occasional pop from the burning logs.

"So," I say, glancing over at him. "What's been going on with you lately? You've seemed a little off."

Ethan looks down at the drink in his hand, swirling the liquid around before answering. "It's nothing. Just… thinking about stuff."

I frown. "What kind of stuff?"

He shrugs, but there's something in his eyes something hesitant, like he's not sure if he should say more.

"I don't know, man. Just… life, I guess. College, the future. All that crap."

I nod, understanding. It's been on my mind too, even if I haven't said it out loud.

The thought of leaving high school behind, of everyone going their separate ways, it's… a lot.

"Yeah, I get that," I say. "It's weird to think about."

We fall silent again, the crackling fire filling the space between us. I want to ask him more, want to understand what's really going on in his head, but I don't want to push too hard.

Not when it feels like he's already carrying so much.

After a few minutes, Ethan breaks the silence. "You ever feel like… you don't know who you are?"

The question catches me off guard, and I blink at him, not sure how to respond. "What do you mean?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. Sometimes it feels like everyone else has it all figured out, y'know? Like, Jack's already talking about college parties and whatever, and you… you've fit in here way better than I have. But me? I just feel… lost."

His words hit me harder than I expected.

I didn't realize he felt this way. I always thought Ethan was the type to be content with who he was, even if he didn't always show it.

Hearing him say this now, it makes me see him in a different light.

"I don't think anyone really has it figured out," I say after a moment. "I sure don't. I mean, I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in this school, in this whole… life thing."

Ethan looks at me, his expression softening a bit. "Yeah?"

I nod. "Yeah. We're all just trying to get by. No one's got it all together, no matter what it looks like."

For a second, I think he's going to say something else, something deeper, but then Jack shows up again, grinning like he just won the lottery.

"Hey! You guys having fun without me?" Jack jokes, throwing himself down next to us. "The party's just getting started!"

I smile, but my mind is still on Ethan's words. As the night goes on, and the fire burns brighter, I can't help but wonder if maybe he's right, maybe we're all a little lost, just trying to find our way through the dark.