CHAPTER 29 : FORGIVE ME

"I... I want to make you proud, Ali. Forgive... me."A young boy was crying as he read a letter addressed to him, tears streaming down his face and soaking the paper. His hand clenched the letter tightly as he pulled the blanket around him, his body trembling."Uh... Ahh... Ahhhhh!" The boy wailed. Behind the door, Ustaz Umar, who had a black beard, listened to his cries with a somber expression.My dad... was killed by a gang."This is your room, Ali. You'll be sharing it with Arfan and Danielle... Here, Arfan, Danielle, this is your little brother now, his name is Ali." Ustaz Umar introduced Ali to his foster brothers, two other boys—one tall and one short with a broken tooth."Assalamualaikum... I'm Danielle." The tall boy stepped forward and extended his hand towards Ali."Wa-Waalaikummusalam," Ali replied, shaking Danielle's hand. Arfan then approached with a smile."I'm Arfan, I'm 8 years old!" Arfan boisterously announced, causing Ali, who was shy, to fall silent."Ali is also 8 years old. Ali, Danielle is your older brother; he's already 10. If you need anything, you can count on him," Ustaz Umar said, and Danielle smiled at Ali.At first, everything felt difficult...I would mumble in my sleep... babbling and screaming. Every day felt like a heavy weight on my chest... I still felt so alone.While everyone played football in the field, ran in the park, and engaged in various activities, I couldn't join them... Everything made me feel suffocated."Ah! D-Dad! H-Help! Ah!" Ali mumbled. In his dream, he envisioned the moment he discovered his father's lifeless body lying in front of their house, a gunshot wound in his chest and a pool of blood soaking his body.Ali panicked, shaking his father's body repeatedly."Calm down, Ali! Ali... Istighfar... Istighfar..." Danielle was by Ali's side as he woke up, Ali was sweating and gasping for breath. Danielle placed his hand on Ali's chest."Istighfar, Ali..." Danielle urged gently."Astaghfirullah... Astag—" Ali broke into tears, his body trembling, unable to continue speaking. Danielle hugged him softly, and Ali embraced him back.Danielle... was there for me during those tough times. The guidance, advice, and kindness from Ustaz Umar also pulled me out of that depression.After a few months, I finally felt like part of this big family. I could smile with them while playing...I could be a normal boy.A few years passed, and now we were teenagers.Ali threw a male student to the floor; both of them were wearing martial arts uniforms. Many onlookers seemed impressed and applauded, including Ustaz Umar, Ustazah Hajah, Arfan, and Danielle, who were among the crowd watching.I joined the martial arts club because I wanted to learn self-defense; I didn't want to feel weak.At that time, Danielle was focused on his SPM exams...Danielle was sitting at a table, writing in his activity book, looking exhausted. Ali sat beside him and placed his textbooks and activity book next to Danielle. They looked at each other, and Ali adjusted his glasses with a smile."Let me help you study," Ali offered."Help me study? Be for real... You're only in Form 3, idiot," Danielle replied teasingly."There are topics from Form 3 that will be on the SPM paper, right? I know a bit more than you, so you can count on me," Ali said, making Danielle chuckle softly."Whatever... idiot." Danielle just smiled as Ali opened his book and took a pen out of his pencil case.I want him to succeed. I see almost every night, Danielle is trying his best."Allahuakbar." Danielle was leading a Sunnah prayer, with Ali in the back row.We never stopped praying for Danielle's success."Not even one A... Three D's? What's wrong with me?" Danielle sat down at his desk, looking disappointed. Ali just stared at him, not knowing what to do.After all that... Danielle still didn't get the marks he wanted. No one judged Danielle; Ustaz Umar and Ustazah Hajah had no problem with his grades.It was just Danielle who wanted to change. In his early teenage years, he was quite naughty. But he had changed, focusing on studying again.Not long after SPM, just a few months, Danielle left our orphanage and got a job outside. Ustaz Umar helped him find a rental house. Many actually didn't want Danielle to go, but... he still left us...Time went on... A few times I got to meet Danielle; he visited us several times. However, every time he came, he looked tired... He said his work was troublesome but the pay was good, so he continued anyway.But then, one day...Danielle stopped coming...Months passed without a visit from Danielle. But at that time, I was busy with SPM along with Arfan, so we didn't think too much about it.After finishing SPM, I tried to communicate with Danielle through messages, but he didn't respond to a single message or phone call... He didn't say anything to Ustaz Umar either.We were getting worried, but at that time we thought, perhaps he was busy working and didn't want to disturb Danielle..."Congratulations to Muhammad Ali bin Ahmad Aidan for achieving 9A in SPM!" Ali was on stage with several teachers, taking pictures holding a piece of paper showing '9A+'.Alhamdulillah, I managed to score well in SPM.I chose to continue my studies; my dream is to become a teacher, especially a religious teacher like Ustaz Umar who inspired me with Islam."I'm proud of you, son. You've grown into someone your father would be proud of..." Ustaz Umar looked teary-eyed as he placed both hands on Ali's shoulders."Allah has blessed me with you, ustaz. Everything I have achieved is a result of your guidance. Thank you.""Oh Ali... May Allah continue to bless your life, amin." Ustaz Umar and Ali hugged in front of the university building Ali wanted to join."Take care, Ali. Pray for me to continue my studies too," Arfan reminded."Of course. You too. Keep an eye on ustaz and ustazah for me," Ali requested."No problem, brother." Arfan and Ali lightly fist-bumped each other."Ustaz... if you hear anything from Danielle, please let me know. Also tell him, I'm here. Who knows he might come to visit?" Ali said."Insyaallah, son," Ustaz Umar replied with a smile. Ali grabbed his backpack and walked toward his university campus.For three years, I pursued my diploma. Alhamdulillah, my university life was great. I got to meet supportive friends and further hone my silat skills through the martial arts club at the university.My life was very good; I was lucky. All this fortune is a gift from Allah for me... It is my responsibility to use all this fortune to give back to the community.Ali wore glasses and had a thin mustache and beard. He was dressed in a gray shirt with a black tie, walking down the school corridor while carrying books and a file."Assalammualaikum, Mr. Ali," greeted a few female students. Ali turned to them with a smile."Waalaikummusalam, everyone," he replied.My dream came true. I became a teacher, although not a religious teacher right now, but I could teach as a language teacher. There's another chance later; I think I want to continue studying.Working as a secondary school teacher is quite chaotic, as they are big kids who don't realize they are still kids. But I like it; I get to teach the next generation."Waalaikummusalam, ustaz... Oh, really? I just got back... What?" Ali was unlocking his house while on the phone with Ustaz Umar, but his expression changed to one of fear as soon as he heard what Ustaz Umar said.It was the first time I heard about Danielle after 5 years, and it wasn't good news...Ali and Ustaz Umar opened the door to an apartment, and inside it was messy and damaged. They walked in, and a skinny man surrounded by trash was sitting on a torn sofa, watching a broken television."Danielle..." Ali called out, and Danielle turned to him, his expression vacant, his hair and beard unkempt.I was at a loss for words...My heart sank seeing my brother in such a state.It turned out that all this time, he was fired after fighting with his boss at work. He had been living off his savings, but when he ran out of money...He... borrowed money from loan sharks.The loan sharks demanded money, but Danielle often avoided them. Eventually, the gang found out about Danielle's background and came to our orphanage.Ustaz Umar had to pay Danielle's debt."Didn't you think about what you did, huh?! Don't you think of Allah, Danielle? How could you do this to Ustaz Umar?" Ali yelled, grabbing Danielle's shirt and pushing him onto the sofa. He looked furious."Ali, that's enough," Ustaz Umar admonished, but Ali was too angry to heed him."It's all... your fault too! You all left me behind! You... just ignored me! I'm weak! I'm stupid! I know that! So why did you leave me?!" Danielle retorted, tears streaming down his face, leaving Ali speechless.I couldn't do anything more. We handed Danielle over to the authorities, and I could only watch as they took him into their car.Since that day, we couldn't communicate with Danielle anymore.I felt terrible because I had failed my brother. It felt like all my achievements were meaningless.In the end, I couldn't repay the kindness I received in my childhood...I was greedy... Only thinking about my own success.Once again, the people I love were hurt by gangs...Oh Allah... Punish me, I left my brother in suffering... I don't deserve any of this.Oh Allah... I can't control my anger anymore, this feeling of revenge.I've held it in for so long. Many people out there just hurt others. There are many gangs cases, especially in Klang.In fact, one of my students almost became a victim, just like I did when I was young. His parents were struggling, and they had to borrow from loan sharks and faced the same fate.Even though they were under the protection of the authorities, I still didn't feel it was enough... All of this isn't enough!As long as there's no one out there... who brings down these gangs... instills fear in their souls and hearts... all of this won't stop!I...!"Get out of the car now!" ordered a group of masked men, one of them pointing a gun at an old man inside the car."Take it easy! Please, don't hurt my son!""Get out!"The old man stepped out with both hands in the air, while his daughter was dragged by one of the gangsters."Dad! Help! Da—" The girl's mouth was covered by the gangster holding her."Don't do anything to her!""Shut up!"Both gangsters kicked the old man to the ground, one of them aiming their gun at the old man's head as he lay weakly on the floor."Argh!" The old man, with the remaining strength he had, pushed the gangster holding the gun, and a shot rang out, hitting only the old man's leg."Damn old man!" The two gangsters began to stomp and kick the old man."Urgh!" The girl being held by another gangster bit her captor's hand and tried to reach her father, but she too was violently thrown to the ground."Ah!""Stay still! Or I'll hit you!" yelled the gangster whose hand was bitten."S-Someone... help..." pleaded the girl.I won't close my eyes anymore and let this continue happening. For those I love... the city, the place I grew up.Ali emerged from the dark alley, dressed in tight black clothing and a black mask, kicking the gangster holding the girl, causing him to collide with the car bumper and knock him out."Who?" another gangster turned around after hearing the loud thud, and Ali approached them, pushing one gangster and then punching another in the face, knocking him to the ground."Dammit!" Ali was pulled and then punched, but he managed to knock down the man who hit him. Another thug who fell to the floor tried to reach for his gun, but Ali stepped on his hand with force. The sound of cracking bones was heard."Arrghh!" the man screamed. The man that Ali had knocked down attacked again. Ali received several punches and kicks, and the thug with the broken hand also attacked him.Ali sat on the ground in front of both of them, looking up at the sky, gasping for breath. Pain mixed with exhaustion; both men were shocked to see him kneeling before them."Oh Allah... Forgive me... Oh Allah..." Ali said, as one man aimed his gun at him.Suddenly, colorful particles rained down and hit the hand of the man pointing the gun at Ali. He was puzzled, but his finger continued to press the trigger, the shot fired, and it hit Ali directly.Ali bowed his head after being shot, and both men looked around."He's finished...""Just get out of here... Let that old man and this freak die."They tried to escape, but suddenly Ali stood up. Both of them turned around with fearful expressions. A blue light, shaped like veins, emerged from Ali's chest, the bullet he had been shot with lodged in his body.I can't die yet!There are still many evil people out there!With these hands! I will destroy them!The light moved toward Ali's hands as he leaped toward them. Ali punched both thugs simultaneously, sending them flying and sliding on the floor, knocked out cold."Hah... Hah... Hah..." Ali gasped, his eyes glowing blue and his hands steaming. The little girl lifted her father's head slowly; she looked amazed at Ali."A superhero..." the girl said.My mutant power activated that night.I ran away in confusion, but I encountered that alien..."You've already become a mutant at this early state... Your soul must be filled with desire, Ali." Sui'ra appeared while Ali was on the roof, in a state of panic and confusion."Who are you?""My name is Sui'ra, from the planet Zotura. My mission and my friends' mission is to create the strongest beings in the galaxy..." Sui'ra replied with a smile on his face, flying behind the full moon and the sky adorned with colorful particles still falling.