Chase What You Want

Hinata Hyuuga had Naruto Namikaze on the brain.

It was a problem that had been building for a while now. She ignored the symptoms for as long as she could, but last night in the Den, she had no choice but to recognize them. Her mind kept telling her heart that it was being ridiculous, and her heart was winning the ensuing argument. 

She was swooning for the man she hated most. As if it wasn't bad enough for a Hyuuga to swoon at anything, she was even struggling to remember why she hated him in the first place.

Hinata didn't know what to do. These were uncharted waters, and not even chakra control could keep her on their surface.

The one thing she knew was that being at the Hyuuga Compound was the worst place she could be right now. Hanabi must've suspected it was her who stole Naruto's journal back, Neji had burned bridges with her, and with the way her head had been spinning recently, Hinata was almost bound to slip up and say something she shouldn't in front of one of the elders.

Oh, and she had to hide her lack of seal, too. No, it was best that she spent as little time as possible at home right now.

At the moment she was walking down a street crowded with tall apartment buildings. She thought she recognized one, and realized a moment later that she did. She was only a few blocks from where she and Naruto went for lunch at Sasuke's house.

As kept happening these last few days, her thoughts circled back to a certain blond.

Having a crush on your fiance seemed like a very good thing. Hinata wasn't convinced yet. For one thing, her mind kept spiraling to Naruto's conversation with Ino in the alley. He phrased it like Hinata's lack of interest was the reason, but he'd sounded certain that the arranged marriage would collapse. That made Hinata wonder something else.

She knew what her father got out of this marriage. He was looking at how Fugaku, the Uchiha Clan Leader, had improved the standing of his clan after Minato took office. The two were friends from the ninja academy, and Minato made massive strides in decreasing the prejudice Uchihas faced across the village. The Uchiha Clan was more plentiful and powerful than ever before, integrating into Konoha in ways that had never happened since the village's founding.

Hiashi was looking for a reason that this growth couldn't be because of good leadership. He refused to believe the Uchihas could simply outperform them. So he settled on Minato as the reason for their growth, and sought to replicate it.

But what did Minato get out of this?

At first, Hinata would've said a link to a prestigious clan. The Hyuuga were still a powerful force, second in size and strength out of all the clans. But the more she saw of Minato and the man's son, the less she believed that he cared about that.

So why had he gone along with it?

"Hinata!"

Hinata's heart just about stopped as she was grabbed from behind. It was a hug— but the suddenness had her convinced it was an attack. She nearly struck the 'assailant's' Tenketsu, before recognizing the fiery red hair in her face.

She still pushed and struggled, trying to wedge herself free. It was surprisingly difficult considering the redhead retired as a ninja decades ago.

Finally, Hinata managed to claw her way to freedom. She stumbled back a few steps, slightly winded, feeling as if a wild animal just mauled her.

"She's a hugger," said a dry voice.

It was Sasuke, standing behind the red-haired woman that grabbed Hinata and beside a woman that looked a lot like him, with black hair and aristocratic features.

"Was that too much?" asked Kushina Namikaze.

"I wonder," said the woman beside Sasuke.

"Hello, Kushina," Hinata said, attempting to smooth over the fact that she just panicked and all but fought off her fiance's mother. "I didn't hear you coming."

"That would make you the first," said the dark-haired woman.

Kushina turned and pointed at her. "Mean!" She looked back at Hinata, still pointing at the woman. "Uchiha Mikoto!"

That was probably an introduction, although Hinata had never seen one quite like it. Now that the name was mentioned, she vaguely recognized the woman as Sasuke's mother. It had been a long time since she'd seen Mikoto, and in her defense many Uchiha looked much alike (something she imagined was said about the Hyuuga as well).

"How do you do," Mikoto greeted, bowing her head.

Hinata bowed back. "Well, thank you. I hope the same can be said of you."

"It can." Mikoto straightened. "Say hello, Sasuke."

"Hello," Sasuke said.

Hinata looked at him, finding his voice slightly sullen. Sure enough, his face looked sullen as well. She wondered what was the matter.

"Where were you going?" Kushina asked Hinata, smiling. Apparently, Mikoto's comments had already been forgotten.

"Just for a walk," Hinata said.

"So you're not busy?" Surprisingly, this question came from Sasuke.

"Not at the moment," Hinata said.

"Come with us," he said.

Hinata blinked. "Come with you to…?"

"Book club!" Kushina said.

"One with three members," Mikoto said. 

"Annnd counting," Kushina said pointedly. "We're recruiting."

"I don't know," Hinata said. "I'm not sure something like that is my thing…"

"You don't need to join," Sasuke said. "Just come with us today."

She'd never seen him so desperate for anything. Not that he showed it the same way as someone like Naruto; Sasuke didn't shout or even scowl, but there was more urgency in his voice than usual.

"I suppose I could," Hinata agreed, to see what had him so worried if nothing else.

"My natural charisma is rampant!" Kushina exclaimed. She turned to Mikoto. "Soon, we'll have more members than you can fit in your little house!"

"My house is quite big," Mikoto said. "It's the meetings at your house that might be a problem."

"I already thought of that." Kushina smirked. "We'll use the garden."

"I'm not—" Hinata started to say.

"Just let them talk," Sasuke told her quietly. "Mom knows you're not really joining, and Kushina will forget all of this as soon as she finds something more fun. Or she'll pretend she forgot, anyway."

Finished arguing, Kushina resumed her march, forcing the more subdued others to trail behind her all the way to Mikoto's house.

It was in the same courtyard as Sasuke's. Predictably, it was the largest of the buildings. As soon as she stepped through the door, Hinata knew she was going to like this house less than Sasuke's. It had a stuffy atmosphere that reminded her of home.

Not that this stopped Kushina for a single second. She marched inside like it was her own abode, as loud as ever.

They commandeered a room that Hinata suspected was designed for guests. It wasn't exactly a living room, but it had comfortable chairs and a low table. It seemed like the sort of place usually reserved for private meetings. A servant brought tea and small snacks, then Kushina pulled out the book, followed by the other two doing the same.

"Alright!" she said. "We read chapters seven and eight, right?"

"It was supposed to be seven through ten," Mikoto said.

"Who said that?"

"You."

"Must've misheard me." Kushina looked at Sasuke, who had the same sections open as his mother. "Looks like both of you have bad ears. You should get that checked out. Anyway, my favorite part was—"

It was surprisingly interesting for Hinata, listening to them talk about a book she hadn't read. It was almost like a puzzle. She tried to piece together the plot, correcting her assumptions as more information was revealed. The only thing she was certain of was that it was a romance book.

Not the Icha Icha kind, either. It was over the top and sappy, with men who dueled for their honor and women that were extremely prone to fainting. Eventually, when a gap appeared in the conversation, Hinata spoke up.

"I did not think you would enjoy this type of story," she said.

"Why not?" Kushina asked, frowning.

"You seem like you would be more interested in action, or adventure, or something along those lines."

The woman was tomboyish in personality. There was a reason Naruto took after her so much. But Mikoto shook her head.

"You have no idea what she's into," Mikoto said. "She's read every last romance book they sell. One time, she bought an entire shelf from the store, and carried it home through the street, sticking it to her back with chakra."

Kushina blushed. "You read just as much as me!"

"And?" Mikoto said.

The two of them reminded Hinata of Sasuke and Naruto the way they could go back and forth. 

As soon as she thought that, she realized she'd made a mistake. In a flash Naruto was back on her brain, distracting her, and not even listening to more banter could break her out of it.

"Bah! Enough about books." Apparently sick of the teasing, Kushina turned to Sasuke. "Hey, how's Sakura doing?"

"Well," Sasuke said.

He looked scared, but Hinata couldn't tell of what.

"She's over at his house every day," Mikoto said.

"How long have you two been dating again?" Kushina asked.

"Three years," Sasuke said. "I told you that the last time I saw you."

"Don't get snippy with her," Mikoto said (which Hinata found a bit rich). "You know, Sakura really likes you."

"I'm aware."

"You should lock her down!" Kushina said. "If you stall for too long, she'll get sick of waiting! There's no reason not to propose. Unless you think she'll say no…"

"That's not it."

"By your age, I was a mother," Mikoto said. "I'd like to be a grandmother before I die."

Sasuke's grip on his paperback book was so tight the cover was starting to rip.

"How is it going with Naruto?" Sasuke asked Hinata, and it occurred to her that this was what he brought her for.

He stared into her eyes, and messages passed back and forth between them the way only two true introverts can communicate.

I'm sorry for this, Sasuke's eyes were saying.

You've thrown me to the wolves, Hinata's eyes said back. But I understand. You were being eaten alive.

She wasn't sure he got all of that, but the gist came across. 

Turning to the other women, Hinata said, "It's been going smoothly."

"That's it?" Kushina whined.

"Smoothly is good with this kind of thing," Mikoto told her. "Are you happy with the arrangement?"

For the first time, Hinata didn't have to lie when she said, "I am. But there was something I was wondering. Why was I chosen?"

The question was addressed to Kushina. "What do you mean?" the redhead asked.

"I mean… Why was such a marriage drawn up in the first place? Why the Hyuuga? Why is Naruto being treated like a clan heir now, in this matter, when he never behaved like one before?"

It all rushed out of her as she hurried to get it off her chest, and she waited nervously for the answer. She didn't think Kushina would get angry. She just had to know the answer, after how much these things had bothered her.

"Dunno," Kushina said.

Hinata gaped.

"Kushina, what does that mean?" Mikoto asked.

"It's politics stuff," Kushina said. "Minato used to explain it all to me, but I asked him to stop. It made me mad. He told me I couldn't get away with punching a clan elder, not even one, so I asked him to stop telling me at all. That seemed like the best way to keep my temper."

"You didn't ask, even when it came to Naruto?" Hinata asked.

"I trust Minato," Kushina said. "He won't let anything happen to our son that Naruto doesn't want."

The words made Hinata flinch. Again, she remembered Naruto's words in the alleyway. He had been nice to her… but she couldn't shake the feeling that he'd never really gotten personally involved. He was just friendly, even to strange girls that were apparently supposed to marry him.

"In those romance books," Hinata said slowly, "the hero usually wins, right?"

"Always," Kushina said.

"How do they do it?"

"That depends," Sasuke said. "Sometimes they're forced to spend time with the one they're after. Sometimes, one of the leads does a dramatic confession. In a couple of them there's a battle that shows them how they both really feel. But none of that is the important aspect. What matters is that they don't stop chasing what they want, as soon as they realize they want it. That's where the success comes from."

The room was quiet. Sasuke looked around, wondering why no one was speaking.

"That was…" Hinata said.

Mikoto turned to Kushina. "I told you he secretly liked them. I'm not forcing him to be here. Not at all."

"If I have to read all those books, I'm at least going to remember them," Sasuke grunted. "It's not any deeper than that."

After getting over her initial surprise, Hinata realized that what Sasuke said was already taking root in her. If you wanted something, you had to chase after it.

How long had it been since she actually tried to get what she wanted? Naruto's journal didn't count, because that was such a recent thing. Before that, it had been years. She insulted Neji for following the whims of his inscrutable 'fate' concept… but had she ever really fought for anything herself?

She had, once, a long time ago. She put everything she had into impressing her father. She worked and bled to maintain her position as heir. And in the end, she lost all the same.

Had she been living with her head lowered ever since then?

"Are you alright?"

The question made Hinata look up, finding Mikoto staring at her. Something in Hinata's expression had caught the woman's attention.

"I'm fine," Hinata said. "Just thinking about the past. Sasuke's words reminded me of my clan's heiress, in a roundabout way."

Mikoto paused. "I don't follow politics nearly as much as I used to, but are you not the eldest Hyuuga daughter of the Hyuuga?"

"Oh, I am," Hinata assured her. "You don't have that wrong."

Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes widened.

"You know, I was looking at rings the other day!" he said.

It was too late. Mikoto was staring at Hinata without blinking, the pupils of her eyes beginning to swirl.

"Do you mean to say that Hiashi took your title away?" she said. "While you are still alive and healthy?"

"He did," Hinata said. "But—"

Mikoto's pupils turned red. Her sharingan formed, spiraling as if she was in a fight. She stood up— to do what Hinata couldn't tell, but from her expression, she seemed liable to hunt down Hiashi before the day was up.

Kushina was suddenly there, wrapping her arms around Mikoto.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Hinata is alright. You're alright."

Mikoto's sharingan faded. Suddenly, the stoic woman was crying. She wrapped her arms around Kushina right back. Watching the women embrace, Hinata felt even more lost than when she was guessing the plot of their book.

"Come on," Sasuke said quietly. "Let's step outside. Don't worry about saying bye."

They walked in silence through the house. On the way out, perhaps because they weren't talking, she noticed a detail she missed on the way in. The home was absolutely littered with family photos, to the point that you saw a new one every few steps.

Outside, Sasuke stopped with a heavy sigh.

"Sorry about that," he said.

"I'm not angry," Hinata said. "Just… confused."

"I can imagine." 

Sasuke sighed again. He looked over his shoulder, scanning the courtyard. Then he led her closer to his house, away from the main building.

"You know that I'm the Uchiha heir, right?" he asked.

"You mentioned as much."

"I wasn't supposed to be. That's never who I was. I… I had an older brother. You might have heard of him."

"I haven't," Hinata said. She recalled another boy from the photos they passed, one with sunken cheeks despite his young age, but she hadn't heard a name for him. "I'm not particularly knowledgeable outside of my clan's circles."

"He was a genius," Sasuke said. "When it came to being a shinobi, he was incredible."

"Better than you?"

"Much better. I don't think it was close." He spoke about his brother with the kind of reverence that Neji used when talking about fate. "Itachi was the youngest ever graduate from the academy. He made Chunin right after. It honestly seemed like there was nothing he couldn't do."

Hinata recalled Mikoto's reaction. She pictured those tears, and the rage the woman felt on her behalf— on behalf of a girl she just met.

"What happened?"

Sasuke's face darkened. "He died. No, he was killed."

Hinata stepped back. The Uchiha heir had been murdered? "How was the news not all over the village?"

"Plenty of people know," Sasuke said, "but dad wanted to keep it as quiet as possible. If I'm having a bad day, I think he was embarrassed. If I'm feeling good… Well, then I call it his way of mourning. And Minato went along with it to not cause a panic."

Although they were more popular than in the past, the Uchiha still weren't celebrities. Hinata frowned at the idea. "Why would his death cause a panic?"

"By then, Itachi was already a high Jounin," Sasuke said. "He might have been S Class. And he was killed inside the village, left in the woods with his eyes gouged out."

Hinata covered her mouth.

"Mom never really recovered. I think I'd be angry if she did. But it's made her sensitive about things like heirs. Hearing that you got your position stripped for something as small as your performance as a shinobi, after what happened to her eldest… I knew it was going to make her snap."

Hinata nodded. In a way, it actually felt good to have someone get angry on her behalf, but mostly she just mourned for this family. Losing her mother was painful enough, and it had been to natural causes when she was too young to remember. She could barely imagine what it would be like losing Itachi.

And yet, as selfish as she felt, she couldn't help but wonder. If she had been found like Itachi when she was kidnapped as a child…

…would it still bring her father to tears today?