8. You're a cute mess

We just stood there for a good five minutes as the tears flowed, me quietly and her softly sobbing.

Finally, we let go and started moving again, getting the alcohol bottles into the cooler and the cases tucked into the truck bed. Before I shut the gate and pulled one of Cassidy's luggage forward, the one I knew she had regular clothes in. "Your, ah, your ass is pretty red," I said. "You should probably cover that up."

She stopped, biting her lip and thinking. "Your choice. I want people to know that I'm yours, in every way. I deserve way more than one red ass cheek. But it could also raise questions."

"Cover it," I said. I actually didn't think answering questions would be the problem, it would be if anyone stared again.

"OK," she said. She unzipped her luggage and dug through it, coming out with a pair of black tights and zipping it back up.

When we were back in the truck, Cassidy slipped her daisy dukes off her hips and down her legs, revealing the slim maroon bikini-style panties she was wearing.

"Hold on, let me see it," I said, and she shifted in the seat to show me her ass. There was a clear red handprint on her ass still. "Fuck, I'm going to need to rub some aloe on that before you wear a bikini."

"You don't have to," she said. "I'll tell everyone I asked for it."

"No," I said. "No. I'm going to make sure we take care of that."

"OK," she said quietly, then sat back down and started pulling on her tights. "Thank you, Tiger."

She pulled on the tights, which were three-quarter length down her legs to her calves, and then pulled the daisy dukes back on over them. Once she was settled, I put the truck in motion and we were headed north up the river, looking for the pier where we were supposed to meet the group.

A dozen women and a few significant others - all models, cosplayers and streamers - coming together for a week of houseboat vacations and photoshoots in costumes, bikinis or whatever else they brought with them. And my fiance wanted me to have sex with any of them that I wanted.

I turned to Cassidy and shook my head, still struggling in my head and my heart. I reached over and used a couple fingers to sweep some loose hair behind her ear, and she turned to me questioningly. "I do still love you," I said. "It's just hard to like you right now."

She pressed her lips together, eyes brimming with tears again, and she nodded. The conflict there, happy I said it, guilt-ridden that I said it, is what made me know this wasn't done. We weren't done.

I looked forward again, driving.

If we're not done, where are we going?

GoogleMaps said we were close to the docks where we were supposed to meet up with the group, so I pulled off to the side of the highway. The area around lake Powel was mountainous, rocky desert that turned an orangey red in the right light - the whole area was gorgeous, and from the photos we'd looked at when Cassidy was offered a spot on the trip it looked like the blue of the winding lake gave the place a magical quality.

"What's wrong?" Cassidy asked.

"We need to talk more," I said. "And you probably want to redo your makeup while we do."

"Good idea," she sighed, pulling down the sun visor and checking in the little mirror. "Oh, God. I'm a mess."

"At least you're a cute mess," I said.

She smiled shyly at me - it was the least sort of compliment I could give her, but now she acted like it was me heaping praise on her. Maybe, considering the circumstances, I was.

Cassidy opened her purse, then her backpack, and pulled out a makeup kit. She quickly went to work on her face with a makeup remover wipe.

"First, I want to reiterate a couple of things I said," I continued. "I do still love you, Cass. But I have a lot of shit to figure out. I don't want to repeat myself too much, but you need to work the line. Let me know if I'm being obvious that I'm hurt or angry, but don't try and push me. I don't want to embarrass you, but I also don't want to just push this down and bottle it up."

"OK, I'll try my best," she said. She stopped working on her face and reached over, taking my hand in hers. "This is my fuck up, Robbie. My thing to work on and fix. Anything you need to do or say, I need you to do it. My only goal, forever, is making up for this. I love you, and only you, ever."

I took in a breath and sighed. "I hear you," I said. "And that does mean a lot. And I don't want to push this right now, but part of the problem is that now that you've lied like that, I need to rebuild my ability to trust you."

"I know ..." her voice broke.

"Hey, don't start crying again," I said, squeezing her hand back.

"OK, OK, I'll try," she nodded, breathing deeply to control herself.