39. A Lifes Journey - Chapter 39

Morning came or maybe progressed and It felt like I didn't sleep at all. My head was all fuzzy and my body felt sluggish, which seems to be my default state lately. 

Strangely enough, I was feeling somewhat excited to go to school today.

Everything was good until I saw this bald idiot downstairs talking to Leo, my stomach started hurting a little bit and I tried to keep myself slightly hidden from him.

"Leo, please be careful around this sociopath! He only cares about himself!" He exclaimed.

"Come on Roger… Lifes deserves a second chance, don't you think?" The prince retorted, a reassuring smile on his face.

"No! Obviously I don't.

I don't trust him and you shouldn't either. Those Slayer bastards are the reason me and my sister… Nevermind, just be careful around this freak." He has a sister?

I remembered how I acted last night, I really let myself loose huh? Is it really alright for me to be friendly with this prince?

"Oh! Lifes! Good morning!" He waved at me.

"M-morning…" I got out of my hiding spot behind the stairs' safety rail and walked down to have breakfast and prepare to leave.

Baldie clicked his tongue loudly and stormed out of the dorm.

"So, Lifes, do you feel like telling me little about what happened yesterday? I'm really curious, it was almost like you came back a different person, you know?" Leo said.

I coughed with a piece of toasted bread in my mouth at the idea of talking about yesterday.

"I thin- I'd rather not. Nothing interesting happened and I'm exactly the same as usual…" 

"Oh come on… You aren't seriously telling me that nothing changed about you!" He retorted.

"Like what?"

"Well, you actually said my name for one, your smile also felt way different. Usually you just smile to get people away from you, yesterday it actually felt genuine. At least that's how it seemed to me.

Of course there's also the fact that you're even talking to me in the first place."

Fuck. This guy actually just reads me like an open book, he really does remind me of Ostel.

"Ah, I guess there's no real point in hiding it. I had a pretty intense conversation with someone, I feel… better now, I guess. Also, were you always this much of a chit-chat?"

Leo's eyes got sparkly and he started murmuring things about how glad he is for me.

Much like Ostel, Leo is really irresistible in a lot of ways, it's hard to stay away from him even when I try. I'm somewhat thankful he doesn't hate me after everything I've done up until now… But he really is too similar to Ostel.

We rushed to school after breakfast.

On my way there, I couldn't help but think, will she really meet me again today? Why is my heart beating so quickly? I can't understand it, I thought I hated her for treating me like a murderer but I can't seem to get rid of that excitement to meet her.

Sure enough, as we arrived at the school sand fields, a white haired girl with flame colored eyes waited for us in the distance.

"Say Lifes, why is this girl waving at us? Do you kn- Ahhh I get it now! She's the one you were talking about, isn't she?"

I was about to answer when a female voice intervened "Hoho, did you tell the prince about your meeting with the beautiful lady that had come on the back of a white horse to save you from all your troubles?" Sophia said.

I could feel my face getting hotter, what is it with those 2? They are so pushy!

"W-what are you saying… I just told him we talked! Why are you even here? I thought you hated me for being a murderer."

"Boooring… Say, Mr Prince, was this guy always such an annoying idiot?" She asked.

"Haha, he really is a pain in the ass isn't he?" He responded.

"..."

The 2 kept bonding over their shared annoyance with my attitude until Sophia had to go to a different class. 

Leo and I went to his classes and during breaktime, Sophia came to take me around the school. 

She explained the structure and hierarchies of the student body, it was actually quite interesting, in a weird way, it all resembled the way our current society was structured.

Different groups had their own version of elitism towards others.

Some were broader in their inclusion of inferior outsiders and some were more nuanced and would only treat someone as inferior if they directly had a negative interaction with said group or person.

Either way, everyone belonged to a group, even students who didn't belong to a group, formed a group of outsiders.

"You don't really talk much, do you? Got any questions?" She asked.

"I'm mostly curious as to how you know all of this stuff… You don't seem like the type to care about social structures."

"Hehe, there's a lot you don't know about me Mr. Assassin!" 

"Don't call me that…!" I whispered.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, anyway, " I guess she's just going to ignore me, just like yesterday. "Everything I said so far are things you pick up on as you exist in society. You know? as like, a functioning member?"

"Huh…?"

"I told you already, I'll make you a functioning member of society, remember?"

"Ah ha…"

Her face went blank for a quick moment before she erupted into laughter "That expression on your face! That's priceless! Don't move a muscle!" Sophia pulled out a small journal and a marking stone and started scribbling something.

She made a few short strokes and looked at my face before making a couple more "Annnnnnd, done! Perfect! You actually kept the expression on the entire time, incredible in some ways, creepy in others haha. 

But most of all I'm surprised you cooperated!" She flipped the small notebook and stashed away her marking stone. The drawing was surprisingly detailed, I knew how my expression probably looked as I've always had a good understanding of how expressions felt and looked but seeing it from another person's perspective was interesting.

The left eyebrow was lowered and the right one was slightly pulled up and towards the middle of the face. She even captured the shade on my left eye from the nose bridge.

"The lines are very soft and round, I guess different people draw in different ways…?" I whispered.

"What do you think? Good isn't it? Haha, I'm pretty confident in my drawing!"

"Not as good as Snoopsi, but pretty good." I said.

She scratched her cheek "S-Snoopsi? Is that the name of your dog?" 

"How?! What? First of all, I don't have a dog and 2nd, why would you assume a dog draws better than you?!"

"Hihi, calm down, I was just teasing. So is this Snoopsi a Slayer friend of yours?" 

I nodded and looked down at my feet, I guess I don't even know if Snoopsi would consider me a friend anymore, I did kill Ostel and now Kiyoko after all.

"What is it? Do you guys not talk anymore?" She asked.

"J-just forget it, it's none of your business."

"Geez, aren't you a downer… You seriously need to stop taking everything so seriously. See what I did there? Hehe."

"Good one... Besides though, how I take things is none of your concern."

I started walking as she said "Don't you think it's easier to find solutions with 2 brains instead of just 1?"

I bit my lower lip and kept walking. How ironic is it for her to draw for fun and give me those smartass sentences when we talk about Snoopsi.

Luckily for me, Sophia didn't bother following me and the rest of the day concluded with that.

The next day came around and she waited for us at the sand fields again, I started feeling myself slipping back into my old habits as I tried to make Sophia hate me. It sort of worked, the next day she didn't wait for me at the entrance.

The week went on as I tried to figure things out, last time I had trouble getting closer to people, talking with Sophia and having a little breakdown helped me see things a bit better.

This time Sophia is the one I'm avoiding, I don't know what to do… Should I talk to Leo about it? Am I really that much of a dramatic asshole?

It was the first evening of the weekend and I wanted to see some of the city square. I might even meet Dawn and Liliya, right?

The students all intermingled and went through the various attractions at the square, a big tavern seemed to be the main one.

I tried to stay as hidden as possible as I walked through the crowd. Arriving at a small restaurant, I heard voices arguing back and forth.

"... Would kill this murderer already! He's so creepy and gross!" One girl said.

"Yeah yeah! I don't get why the prince even brought him here, he's just scary and weird."

"Ha! Don't worry girls if this loser ever acts up, I'll put him in his place." The guy said.

The group shared a laugh before one familiar voice chimed in "H-he's not as bad as you're making him out to be… He's just another student, you know?"

"Sophi don't even start! We all know you hate him 'cause he was an asshole to you!" The first girl retorted.

"Right, even towards someone as awesome as Soph, this freak should just die."

"But… That's -"

"Oh save it Sophia, he's not worth it." The second girl added.

I felt like I was about to throw up, do I deserve it? Kiyoko's words echoed in my head 'know the other perspective, understand their disposition.'

From her point of view, I was accepting her as a friend and then just shut her off. 

But I have a good reason, right? Is it really my fault? It's her fault for being so nosy! I also said multiple times that I don't want to be her friend!

Maybe actions really do speak louder than words though?

So confusing… It can't be my fault, can it?