Chapter 1

The alarm blared off across the whole room, a shrill, annoying sound I know too well. I didn't want to hear it—not again. I slowly reached towards the alarm with my heavy hand and hit the snooze button before rolling over to face the wall. The soft light seeped through the curtains, but I didn't care. The morning was just a reminder that another day had started.

"Another day… just need to get through it," I thought to myself, feeling that awful sensation creeping in again as I zoned out.

I was lost in thought, thinking about how every day was the same: waking up, getting dressed, going to school, and then coming back home. Every day, over and over again, it feels like a never-ending cycle. It's really starting to get on my nerves, and I'm sinking into depression because of it. But is there anything I can do about it? No, I just have to survive it. But why does everything feel so pointless—why even getting out of bed feels like a chore, completely meaningless? Maybe it's always been like this, and I just never noticed. Or maybe something inside me has changed, something I can't even explain.

With a long, tired sigh, I forced myself to sit up, the blanket slipping off my shoulders as I felt the cold air in my room. My feet hit the floor with a dull thud. For a moment, I just stood there, not really noticing anything around me. After a while, I walked over to my chair, where my school uniform was tossed carelessly. It was all wrinkled, but I seriously didn't care. I got dressed, threw my school books into my bag.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a mess, my eyes red with dark circles under them. I looked… hopeless. Like someone who had given up pretending that everything was okay. I ran my hand through my hair, trying to smooth it out, but the effort was pointless. Honestly, what did it even matter?

I zipped up my school bag and slung it over my shoulder. I tied my uniform's tie—my movements were automatic, like muscle memory. I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing—just going through the same routine as every morning.

As I tightened the knot on my tie, I caught my reflection in the mirror again. The person staring back at me looked exhausted. Not just physically tired, but… something deeper. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, or maybe I had lost it a long time ago. I felt empty. Whatever it was, I didn't care anymore.

As I went downstairs, I could hear the annoying screech of the hinges. I was still half-asleep, taking that first step down, when I heard my mom calling out already, "Good morning, Takashi!" Her voice echoed through the hallway, breaking the quiet of the morning.

When I finally reached the kitchen, I found her there, busy preparing lunch. I shuffled over to the table and mumbled, "Good morning, Mom," with a blank expression and an emotionless tone. I sat down on the chair by the table and started on the breakfast she'd prepared. As I ate, I could feel her eyes on me, watching. Eventually, she looked straight into my eyes and asked, "Are you okay, sweetheart? Is anything troubling you? You've been really quiet recently."

"I'm fine," I said, my voice muffled by the toast in my mouth. "Nothing's wrong." I looked up at her, forcing a smile, hoping it would be enough to reassure her, even if just a little.

She seemed to believe me, or at least, she pretended to. "I'm glad to hear that! I need to go to work now—don't miss the school bus!" She leaned down, kissing me on the forehead before grabbing her things. As she left, her words echoed in my mind: "I'm so glad to hear that!" If only it were true.

I sighed and muttered under my breath, "Oh, if only that were true." I was lost in thought, and before I knew it, I could already hear the rumble of the bus outside. "Oh god! I'm going to be late again!"

I quickly grabbed my school bag, pulled on my shoes, and sprinted out the door like my life depended on it. I just made it, barely, catching the bus at the last moment. As I climbed on, I spotted my friend Sakura waving eagerly. She had saved a seat for me, her energy already at full blast. Imagine the most anti-social, introverted person you know, and she was the complete opposite. If I had to rate her extroversion on a scale of one to ten, she'd probably be a twelve.

"Heeeey! How are you doing?" she asked, her voice bursting with excitement.

"Uhhh, I'm okay," I replied, trying my best to sound upbeat.

"So… what are you doing today? Do you want to hang out?" she asked, her cheeks hinting at a blush. The way she looked at me made me pause. No, it must be my imagination. I quickly brushed off the thought. "Sure, if I have time," I said casually.

Her face lit up, full of joy. There was something in her eyes that I couldn't shake off, but I kept quiet. Suddenly, she hugged me tightly, catching me off guard. I could feel my face heating up, especially when I saw my other friend smirking at us. Embarrassed, I covered my face, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

The bus arrived at our stop, and Sakura and I stepped off, heading straight for the lockers. "Takashi, what's your first class?" she asked, as she sorted her books.

"Uh, my first class? I think it's informatics," I replied, trying to recall my schedule.

"Yay! That means we have the first class together!" she exclaimed, almost shouting with excitement.

"Hey, Takashi! Come over here!" I heard that familiar voice—Asashi. I turned to see him waiting for me, flashing a grin. "Excuse me, Sakura. I'll see you in class," I said, and she nodded, giving me a bright smile.

"What's up, Asashi?" I asked, though my mind was still elsewhere.

He grinned knowingly. "How's it going with you and Sakura?" His tone was teasing, his grin widening.

"Just like usual. Why are you asking?" I tried to play it off, even though I knew exactly why he was asking.

"You two look cute together, don't you think? Just look at the way she looks at you and how she talks to you," he said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. "We're just friends."

He wasn't buying it. "Oh, please! I saw the way she hugged you on the bus, and I swear, both of you were blushing."

I was speechless for a moment, knowing he was right, but I didn't want him playing matchmaker. "Can you just leave it be?" I asked, frustrated.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled, giving me a playful pat on the shoulder. Then he looked at me seriously, his tone shifting. "Just know, she loves you, Takashi." His words lingered, and for the first time, I felt a pang of doubt about how I felt.

The bell rang, and I said goodbye to Asashi, realizing I was about to be late for class. I rushed to the informatics room, arriving just in time to hear Mrs. Kamizawa's sharp voice. "Look who's late once again!"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Kamizawa," I lied. "I was exchanging notes for another class with a friend."

"Sit down! Don't be late next time, or else you'll get detention," she said, but I could tell she didn't really mean it. I glanced around and spotted Sakura waving at me with a bright smile. "Over here! I saved you a seat!" she whispered excitedly, practically glowing.

"Thanks for saving me a seat," I said, returning a small, genuine smile this time. It felt strange to actually feel… happy.

We were taking an online quiz today, but I swear, these computers were ancient. The PCs still had CRT monitors, and the operating system looked like it was from the stone age.

"Do you think our ancestors from the 15th century were using these computers too?" Sakura joked, and it was so bad that I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Quiet!" shouted Mrs. Kamizawa. "Sorry, Mrs. Kamizawa. I'll be quiet," I replied, while Sakura stifled a giggle.

"Pssst… Takashi," I heard a soft voice call my name, and I quickly turned around, but there was no one there. "Are you okay?" Sakura asked, her brow furrowing in concern.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, brushing it off. "I just thought I heard something."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. I managed to scrape by with a C on the quiz, while Sakura, of course, got an A+. We said our goodbyes, and I made my way to my next class—math, which I dreaded. All those equations… it felt like torture.

Although I hate math, the teacher is really nice and caring. As soon as I stepped into the classroom, I could hear Mr. Yamashita say, "Good morning, Takashi! How are you today?"

"Hello, Mr. Yamashita. I'm doing fine," I replied, my tone as emotionless as always. Mr. Yamashita seemed like he was about to tell me something, but a bunch of students started pouring into the class.

"See me after class, Takashi," he said. Mr. Yamashita is one of my favorite teachers; he always cares about his students. The bell rang, and everyone sat down at their desks.

"Good morning, everyone! Today, we're diving into some new material—quadratic equations," he announced.

"Ugh, I hate them so much," I thought to myself. I wasn't paying much attention, though, and found myself fidgeting with my pen. Suddenly, I heard it again—a sweet, gentle voice whispered, "Takashi, over here!" I turned around quickly, but there was no one there, just some weird looks from the student behind me. I picked up the pen I'd dropped on the ground and tried to calm myself down.

"Maybe it's just my imagination," I thought. I checked the time—five minutes left, and the class would be over. I had completely zoned out. The bell finally rang, and as I was getting up, I heard Mr. Yamashita call me over to his desk.

"Takashi, please come here." I felt nervous, not knowing what he wanted to talk about.

"Takashi, is everything okay? I've noticed your mood has changed a lot lately."

Not him too! I knew he cared, but I thought I was handling things fine on my own. The empty classroom made the situation feel even more intense—it was just the two of us, standing there, like time had frozen. I somehow managed to gather myself and replied, "Yeah, everything's okay." I was obviously lying, and I think Mr. Yamashita could tell.

"Look, Takashi, I know something's troubling you. I can see it on your face." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, his expression soft.

"Here," he said gently. "I thought this might help you find someone to talk to." I unfolded the paper, realizing it was a hotline for people dealing with depression. My face froze. "I'll think about it, but please don't tell my mom," I replied, feeling a wave of fear wash over me.

"Don't worry, Takashi. This stays just between us. Just promise me you'll consider getting some help. It makes me sad to see you like this." He looked me straight in the eyes, his expression full of concern.

"Okay, I'll think about it," I said. After leaving the classroom, I couldn't stop thinking about what Mr. Yamashita had said. His words echoed in my mind on repeat. Lost in my thoughts, I was snapped back to reality when Sakura tapped me on the back.

"Was your lesson as boring as mine? I swear, one more minute and I would have died from boredom," Sakura said, giggling.

"Yeah, it was really boring. We were learning about quadratic equations," I replied, my mind still on Mr. Yamashita's words, though I didn't tell Sakura that part.

"Just one more lesson before lunch. I'm starving," she said.

"Yeah, I'm hungry too. I could eat something," I replied. Sakura smiled at me, pulled a chocolate bar out of her school bag, and split it in half.

"Here! I wouldn't want both of us to starve to death," she said with a giggle as she passed me half of the chocolate bar.

"Thank you, Sakura. This means a lot," I replied, noticing a hint of a blush on her face. We sat by the lockers, sharing the chocolate. Sakura rested her head on my shoulder, making me blush a little.

The bell was about to ring, so I said goodbye to Sakura and watched her head to her next class. Just as I was about to leave, I spotted Asashi standing in the corner, grinning.

"So it's true after all," Asashi said, walking over. "You do love her, don't you?"

I was getting fed up with Asashi. Yes, he's my friend, but he really needs to stop playing Cupid. "Just leave it be, Asashi. Please, just leave it be," I said, still blushing a little.

"Sure, but you can't hide from the truth, Takashi," he replied, his expression suddenly serious. "You know where to find me if you ever want to talk," he added before patting me on the back. "I have to get to my next class. Make sure you're not late either. See you later!"

As I walked to my next class, I kept thinking about Sakura and everything Asashi had said. He wasn't wrong. Those words—"She loves you, Takashi"—repeated over and over in my head. I zoned out during the lesson, fidgeting with my pen, my mind drifting between thoughts of Sakura and lunch.

I was starving by then—my stomach was practically growling. When the bell rang, I finally headed to the cafeteria. On the way there, I ran into Sakura in the hallway.

"Are you as hungry as I am? I'm starving like never before," she said, smiling.

"Yeah, I'm literally starving. I'd eat anything. Let's hurry before the food's gone," I replied, and we started sprinting to the cafeteria, laughing. Strangely, it was pretty empty.

"Where is everyone? Are we the only ones starving here?" Sakura laughed.

"I guess they weren't hungry," I said, looking at the food laid out.

There was plenty of food we could pick from. "Hmmm, what should we choose?" Sakura said while circling around the food section. "What about this?" I pointed at the pizza and fries.

"Ooooo, that looks really tasty." Sakura grabbed my hand and started walking with me towards the food section, smiling at me. I was not expecting that! We took the plates, put the food on them, and went to sit down at a table. Sakura and I started eating our food, talking about our lives, about how everything is going on. Of course, I lied a bit—I didn't want to tell Sakura about my depressive lifestyle.

"Sooo, are you still free after school?" asked Sakura, looking straight into my eyes, her eyes sparkling and full of anticipation. I didn't want Sakura to feel sad; the look in her eyes, I… I couldn't resist.

"Yeah, sure, right after school ends."

"Yay! We'll walk from school together then!" she said, her voice full of excitement. Sakura hugged me and thanked me.

"What's up, you two?!" Asashi came in and joined us for lunch.

"The cafeteria is pretty empty today, right?" Asashi said, his mouth full of food.

"Yes! Exactly! Are we the only ones starving here?" Sakura said while taking another slice of pizza from her plate.

"Where do you want to go after school, Takashi?" Sakura gently nudged me and giggled. Asashi looked at me teasingly and grinned but kept quiet. I tried to ignore him and continued eating my food, just hoping that Sakura wouldn't notice. Thankfully, she didn't.

"You're Asashi, Takashi's friend, right?" Sakura asked.

"Yes, we are friends, and you're Sakura, right? Are you friends with Takashi?" Asashi asked, even though he knew well who she was.

"Yes, that's correct! Takashi's my friend too!" Sakura said while playfully nudging me, giggling a bit. I could see Asashi signaling me to ask her out, and I gave him a desperate look, signaling him to stop. Asashi must've seen how desperate I was and stopped.

"So, where are you planning to go after school?" Asashi asked. He doesn't usually ask these types of questions, so I knew he was planning something. Asashi was smiling when Sakura told him that we had no plan.

"Hey, Sakura," Asashi said.

"Yeah?" Sakura replied.

"I heard about this lovely café that's not too far from here. Do you want to try going there with Takashi today?"

Sakura's eyes lit up, sparkling with excitement. "Really?! Takashi, can we go?!"

Sakura said that with so much excitement, her eyes full of anticipation. I didn't really want to go, but I didn't want to make her sad either. I can give her some of my time.

"Sure, of course, we can go."

"Yay! Thank you! I'm so excited!" Sakura was almost screaming as she said that.

"The bell is about to ring; we should go to our classes," Sakura said while checking the time on her phone. "I believe we have class together now!" she added, looking at me, her eyes full of joy.

"Yeah, you can go. I'll catch up to you," I replied.

Sakura nodded. "High five!" she shouted, smiling and giving me a high five before heading off. I watched her leave, then turned to Asashi. "Dude! Are you serious?!"

Asashi just looked straight into my eyes and said, "Give it a shot; you never know what can happen." He smiled and left.

Great! When Asashi gets an idea, he hardly lets go. Yes, Asashi is my friend, but sometimes he takes it too far.