Chapter Eighteen: Two Sides Of Your Beast 

Thane’s POV

“Are you dumb?!”

I slam the wheel of my SUV once we're in the car.

Out of the damn place, with the security packing up her orders like she went grocery shopping and heaping them in the trunk of my car, I had to practice my deep breathing to prevent me from hurling all of the packages to the trash and wherever they land.

What the actual heck?!

“I'm…”

“And don't even start reciting your stupid anthem to me!” I warn her swiftly before she could finish off with her apology.

“If you freaking want chocolate, you only needed to ask!”

“It just happened.” She blinks back tears.

I'm already used to her shenanigans, I won't let her blackmail me emotionally.

“I will have a talk with Cain, he must be downright silly to break my rules.”

“Please.”

She reaches forward to touch my arm, but removes it instantly, following my angry stare.

“I talked him into it.” She persuades me further, speaking on his behalf.

“Of course, and as a helpless toddler, he indulged you.”

I sigh loudly.

Remembering Mr. Smith I left hanging, I slam my fist on the wheel again, groaning in agony, not from the pain that I'm feeling, but from the anger that my day is going bad, thanks to my supposed surrogate.

“Fuck!”

I sigh again, needing a drink. I just need something strong to get it off my head. Whoosh!

Not having liquor in sight, I tug on my tie, pulling it down so that I don't die from the sudden suffocation.

“Thane, I'm…”

“Don't!” I scold her, causing her to jolt. “You were supposed to have a freaking bed rest, not ruin the whole of my freaking day!”

I pull out of the parking lot, driving her home. As Dr. Cain called and tagged it as an emergency, which it is of course, I didn't have the time to call Rufus.

“I'll be needing you to shut the hell up while I drive, I know you have zero regard all whatnot for your life, I do for mine.” I leave her with a fierce warning and continue driving, hitting the busy road.

She just sits back, obeying my instructions. For about ten minutes, she turns restlessly, looking everywhere but avoiding eye contact with me.

To my surprise, she pulls out a packet of chocolate cookies and begins to munch on it.

Like… What?!

I'll remember to do a full body and psyche checkup on her when next we visit the hospital because this has to be a premium joke.

“Can you stop that?”

The sound of the hard packet is driving me more crazy.

Knowing it's pissing me off, she puts it away, but has a handful of the round cookies, as she turns away and resumes munching.

Dear Lord.

Driving her home without crashing the car and killing us both is a miracle. I signal to Rufus and point at the trunk afterward. When he starts packing them out, his jaws are literally on the floor.

Thank the heavens that I'm not the only one who thinks Avery is a handful.

“Go upstairs,” I instruct her, following from behind.

When Rufus is done offloading the bags in her room, I wave him off and he leaves afterward.

“You can't drive me mad, Avery, I won't let you.” I rebuke her.

“It wasn't intentional.” She pouts. “It won't repeat itself, I promise.”

“Nah, it will never.” I scoff. “Like I said, I won't let you.”

Walking out of the room, I close the door and secure it with the locks. This isn't what I envisioned, but if I let her loose, she will ruin my life, everything I've built for years.

“Don't bother banging, I'm also locking up the main entrance,” I inform her and walk away, while she groans in agony.

“You should eat your chocolates and sleep in peace.” I half yell, before disappearing out of the hallway and downstairs, knotting my necktie back in position.

Like a lunatic, I drive to work, hoping that Mr. Smith hasn't gone already, out of anger. I won't blame him if he does that.

“Is Mr. Smith still around?” I tap on my receptionist’s desk once I stylishly rush into the lobby.

“Yes sir. He's in the waiting room upstairs.” She hurriedly responds to me and I walk away, not saying another word.

“Someone finally showed up. I'm honored.” His words are laced with sarcasm.

He's equally a business mogul as me, if not the biggest shark in the ocean, but here I am, messing around with a golden opportunity. I guess Lily put him up to this and for the love he has for the damsel in distress, he's sticking to my imperfection.

“Pardon me, sir,” I slightly bow, with my hand pressing into my chest walls. “I had an emergency.”

“Hmm.” His tone softens a bit. “Hope everything is okay now?” He asks like he's being put up to it.

“Yeah, sure.”

I open my door and let him walk in first, before entering and shutting the don't behind me.

“My darling daughter told me that you provide the best raw materials for vast industries.” He says, faking a seat opposite mine.

“Yeah,” I pause, experiencing a jolt of throbbing pain in my head.

Shaking it off, I focus on Mr. Smith.

“We only need to…”

Again, it hits, this time, it's so hard like it's slamming my head to the wall.

It's coming again. With the symptoms of my PTSD hitting me hard, irrespective of the place I'm at, I know a relapse is impending.

“We need to know what your company is into.”

I say, meaning something else. But I'm not in the right frame of mind to think straight.

Ideally, I should have researched about it or asked my team to do so, while I oversee the project, but with everything happening in my life all at once, you can't blame me.

“We're into building and constructions, I normally use the companies the government assigns or is affiliated with, but I'm willing to give you a try, I mean, you've made a good name for yourself…”

He keeps on ranting, while I battle with the silent symptoms of my trauma.

Lately, I've been stressed beyond my limit, and this morning is just out of it.

I look at him with wide eyes, but he's lost in his world, explaining the bulk of the project to me in detail, from the purchase to the distribution.

I don't think I have much time left.

Playing the cool part, I nod vehemently, like I understand what he's saying when I can't even repeat a sentence. I doubt I even remember what his company is into.

Not anymore. This has to be the sign that I run out… Oops! I'm a minute too late.

Suddenly, I begin to inhale deeply and slowly and loudly, like an epileptic patient experiencing a seizure.

“Mr. Thane?”

Mr. Smith calls out to me, noticing my sudden change in behavior.

I'm pale, with a reddened face, and I'm tugging on my tie, needing air.

Rising to my feet, I rush into the bathroom, securing the locks, hastily leaning on the door, and just flushing down in a heap like a popsicle.

“Mr. Thane?”

His footsteps draw closer as he approaches me. Anyone In their right mind will tell me that something is wrong with me, or that I need help.

Not with the way he saw my face so red like I got stung by a bee, or consumed an allergen.

“Are you okay?”

He bangs on the door, hoping that I'll say a word, but when I try to speak, I only end up deeply sucking air into my lungs.

This is a part of me I've been trying so hard to hide away from the rest of the world and Lily… Just a few days with Avery, and I'm already on grand display.

Maybe this whole arrangement is useless, maybe I should just let Avery off the hook. I don't care what Aunt Lena will say, not like she knows a baby is already on the way.

I doubt I would make it up to ninety days with Avery on my neck.

With Mr. Smith constantly banging on the door, I can't even concentrate on my inspection and live in regret for five to ten minutes of relapse.

Doesn't he get it?

He can take the triumphant exit. At this point, I don't care if the deal is off the table. Nothing beats the feeling of signing a damn billion-dollar cheque, but this side of me is what I'll put everything at stake for.

Not even Aunt Lena knows of this… The real cause of my torment.

“You know what, I'm calling for help if you won't speak up.” He says, damning my wish to be left alone.

I guess this is what happens when you want your son to be tied to a well-to-do and young bachelor.

It will break his heart to know that I have no interest in his daughter.