The Weight of the Past

"Haah… Haa… I… want… to die," I panted, feeling as though my lungs would burst into flames.

We had been running around this fucking stadium for the rest of the whole day, and at this point my waist was killing me. I wasn't even sure I could stand on both my feet again after this. Right now I was lying on the track, and beside me was…

…this bitch.

"Serves you right. If… if only you'd accepted to fight me… it wouldn't have gotten to this," she said between gasps.

I hate this girl.

That smug smile makes it even worse!

I can't believe she followed me, scaring off all potential combat partners until the instructor gave up and assigned this fucking torture of a punishment. Running fifty fucking laps around the stadium while he watched.

After the twentieth lap I felt like I was dying. I couldn't even feel my limbs anymore—they were literally on fire, and my lungs were no better.

"You act like you didn't suffer the punishment yourself," I said in annoyance, and she smirked triumphantly.

Urgh! I hate that smirk.

"You keep forgetting that I'm level 7, while you're just a measly level 1. Who do you think had it harder?" She laughed, and I could only clench my fist.

If only using Nelia wouldn't probably kill me given the strain she places on my mana, I would have accepted that fucking duel and shown this bitch a good time. But that was impossible—I'd probably die of mana pool combustion before I could even get started, and I'd still end up getting beaten black and blue with how pissed she looked.

"Just keep smiling… this satisfaction will only last so long," I closed my eyes and said.

"She's not really your girlfriend, right?" I heard her say. I could see the smirk on her face, and though that was the truth, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of admitting to it.

"I said it before… I don't entertain side chicks, so stop trying. I won't break up with her," I said with closed eyes, and silence descended for a while.

"El…" She called out softly, and I paid a deaf ear.

"El…" she said again.

"Don't call me that," I replied without looking at her.

"Why did you change?" she asked.

I kept silent, as even I had no explanation.

Just the same way I became obsessed after I suddenly termed her Renay, I became disenchanted with her and everyone else the moment I realized it wasn't her.

It was as though someone was pulling the strings behind the scenes.

"We used to be such good friends… playing, getting into trouble together… But in just one day, you became such a dick," she muttered softly, though the last part was totally unnecessary.

"Just stop… I don't want to talk about it," I replied in a flat tone, just wanting to sleep.

"…Please," I heard, and could hear the light vulnerability in her voice. "I just can't help but feel guilty… So tell me why… Who were you and Eloisa talking about? Was that person the reason?" she asked, and the name Eloisa just made my blood boil.

"…Just let it go," I said, not wanting to talk about it.

"El," she tried to say, but I interjected, halting her words.

"JUST FUCKING LET IT GO ALREADY! IT'S THE PAST… NOTHING… nothing you do now can change it… You guys left when I needed you the most."

"You were the one who pushed everyone away with your attitude!"

"Oh great! Excuses… Just stay the fuck away from me… You're all the same… You're no different from that bitch Eloisa." I forced my trembling legs to stand and walked away. I didn't have time for such nonsense.

'Hey, you made her cry and just walked out like that?' asked the busybody Nelia.

'Mind your fucking business,' I said, and she kept quiet. A quick side glance revealed a glare.

Though Ariana wasn't truly at fault, since I did really push them away. I just don't want to have much emotional attachment to this place since I'll be leaving the moment this semester ends, which is in the next four months. Selena is emotional attachment enough—more and it would be hard to be able to leave this damn place.

Speaking of Selena, I just thought of a way to calm her down.

Sigh.

How did she get me to feel so guilty for not even doing anything?

Tsk.

Well whatever, I still have points to spare—a lot even—so I won't really lose much after buying it.

I hope.