Chapter 30: Truly Thrilling

Grandma suddenly sprayed tea, directly dousing her daughter-in-law Cui Xiang from head to face.

The old lady felt slightly embarrassed and hastily handed her a handkerchief.

Seeing Cui Xiang's aggrieved expression, and how her features nearly scrunched together from it, she almost laughed.

She quickly coughed twice to suppress the laughter.

"Speak nicely!"

She scolded her son before letting Cui Xiang stand up.

Tang Chuxia then realized this was the Young Aunt, and helped her sit next to Grandma before she started enjoying the show.

The Young Aunt patted Tang Chuxia's hand appreciatively. She had always adored such a kind-hearted girl, and now even more so.

"Mother, my child's father is spouting nonsense. Where am I constantly trying to have children? It's just once a day, isn't that normal?"

The Young Aunt became increasingly indignant as she spoke, her voice growing louder.

"I've been a widow for ten years. It wasn't easy for him to finally come back. All I'm doing is making up for lost time, isn't that allowed?"

The Young Aunt, feeling wronged once more, even began to wipe her tears.

Grandma's face contorted strangely from trying to hold back her laughter. She'd just laughed and had to pinch her thigh hard to stop.

"You can't do it every day either, that's your husband!"

The Young Aunt protested immediately, slapping her thigh. "Mother, you're wrong there. He's my husband, and I care about him. People talk about a man performing seven times in one night. I am afraid his health can't take it, so I only do it once a day, missing out on six times!"

Tang Chuxia couldn't hold it anymore!

She turned her head, her shoulders shaking like a sieve, her hands tightly gripping her wrists.

It hurt her stomach to hold in the laughter.

How had she not seen before how hilarious this Young Aunt was?

Grandma also wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and held Cui Xiang's hand. "Child, who did you hear this from?"

The Young Aunt didn't hesitate and directly said, "From Aunt Shun and the others!"

Her daughter-in-law was a typical village woman. When her son had married her, he did so because she was diligent, good at housework, and respectful to parents. Little did he know she was illiterate, having never been schooled.

But since the daughter-in-law had been brought home, she couldn't just be sent back. They had no choice but to send her to a literacy class.

Who would have thought that she wouldn't learn many characters and instead picked up all sorts of nonsense from those women's leaders?

In earlier years, when her younger son was not home, it wasn't so noticeable. Little did she expect such many embarrassments when the son finally came home to live a good life.

However, the old lady didn't dislike this daughter-in-law; in fact, she liked her very much.

She liked her for being simple-minded and straightforward.

Grandma made an effort to adjust her expression and spoke kindly to the Young Aunt, "Don't listen to those gossipy women. What's this about performing seven times a night? What do they think men are? Sledgehammers? Besides, doing it seven times every night, in under a month, the man would have to meet King Yan for tea!"

The Young Aunt didn't believe it.

"I don't believe it. I heard from my sister-in-law that my brother can do it!"

The Young Aunt spoke with conviction, it was clear she had really inquired into it.

The Young Uncle was also sitting in a nearby chair, his face beet-red.

He was a learned man and had, unexpectedly, been so dazzled by the Young Aunt's beauty when they married that he later realized they had nothing in common—his wife was naive and easily deceived.

Especially seeing his niece's gossipy look, his face reddened even more.

"Your brother is bragging, and you're listening to him?"

The Young Uncle finally couldn't bear it and yelled.

Young Aunt, who was naturally quick-tempered, couldn't stand being yelled at, "Why is it bragging? Look at my sister-in-law who gave birth to ten sons. Could my brother have that many if he wasn't capable?"

That makes sense.

Tang Chuxia couldn't help but nod along.

Perhaps her brother really was capable.

Young Uncle's face turned dark.

"Is that the same thing?"

Young Aunt stomped her foot, "How is it not the same thing? You're thinking about that vixen Su Lan, unable to even do it once a day, it doesn't even last '15 minutes'!!"

Tang Chuxia felt she should leave. Was this kind of gossip really meant for her ears?

If this continued, Young Uncle might never look at her with dignity again.

She tried to make herself smaller, but unfortunately, the living room was only so big, and she had nowhere to hide—she had to pinch herself hard, trying not to burst out laughing.

Otherwise, she would never be able to explain this situation.

Grandma felt her face getting out of control and coughed loudly twice: "Alright, alright, '15 minutes' isn't that short, child, men are just like that!"

Young Aunt was relentless.

"No way. How could my man be worse than my brother? My brother is a rough fellow, my man is educated! He even teaches!"

Grandma didn't know how to evaluate her daughter-in-law's blind worship of her son.

She could yell at everyone in the house except her daughter-in-law—who was thick-headed. If you yelled at her, she would yell back, and worse, she couldn't grasp the subtleties.

She could only cajole.

Grandma pulled Tang Chuxia over, standing in front of Young Aunt: "Xiaxia, you talk to your Young Aunt!"

Tang Chuxia pointed to her nose, incredulous at her grandmother's reliability.

What was she supposed to say?

Not to mention that her current persona was that of an innocent young maiden—even if she was all-knowing, could a younger family member advise an elder here?

She dared not even look at Young Uncle for fear that he might just strangle her.

For the sake of her life and maintaining her persona, she could only say to Young Aunt, "Although I don't fully grasp what you are talking about, I guess Uncle-in-law must be a man who works hard every day, and Young Uncle is a professor who usually doesn't exercise, so he definitely can't compare to Uncle-in-law. If Young Aunt wants results, getting Young Uncle to exercise might be the way!"

Her rambling explanation held little hope, but Young Aunt took it to heart.

She slapped her thigh, standing up excitedly: "Right, why didn't I think of that? The niece is clever!"

Saying so, she grabbed Young Uncle and started shaking him.

While shaking, she told Young Uncle, "From now on, you'll do pull-ups every day. After all, we're living in the school's faculty housing now, and there's a sports field."

Tang Chuxia was speechless.

Young Uncle, thin as a sheet of paper, was no match for the robust Young Aunt, and he ended up looking like a blur.

Grandma, feeling guilty watching her son, felt somewhat unprincipled as a mother.

Tang Chuxia, who seemed to have given a bad suggestion, also appeared uneasy. The granddaughter and grandmother quietly exited the living room, deciding it was best to hide.

Just as they reached the courtyard gate, they saw Grandpa and Zheng Daqing returning from shopping.

"Grandma, Xiaxia, why have you come out?"

Tang Jianjun thought they were coming to greet him and didn't expect Tang Chuxia to point toward the living room inside the courtyard.

Zheng Daqing, unable to wait, peeked and immediately exclaimed in awe.

A bunch of heads poked out in unison, followed by a series of wows.

"So thrilling!"