Chapter 7: Unbearable Past

The current Wan Chu'er was only sixteen, at the flowering age when a woman is at her most tender and vibrant.

She couldn't help but laugh at the mess that had been her sixteenth year in her past life, ridicule bubbling from her lips, but the act pulled at the wound at the corner of her mouth, causing her pain that made her bare her teeth in a grimace, prompting her to curse bitterly: Darn heavens!

Why send her from thirty-five back to sixteen?

She had had enough!

The thirty-something Wan Chu'er felt that the world had been too unkind to her. Her once lively heart had been ground down, riddled with holes, each beat tearing at her painfully.

So, when she encountered a group of sharks on her first sea outing, she didn't hesitate to jump into the water, swimming towards the gaping maws of death.

Unexpectedly, she found herself returning from the belly of the shark directly back to her high school days in Wutong County.

Haha, how unpredictable life is.

Regardless, having given Liu Li a thorough thrashing was satisfying, settling one regret.

If she had to do it all over again, so be it. This time she would remedy all the regrets from her past life, take revenge where it was due, repay kindnesses, and stay away from... stay far away!

With this thought, Wan Chu'er's mind flashed with an image of a stern face.

She managed a wry smile, thinking to herself: Jiang Kechu, in this life, I will stay far away from you. You can take your wide, sunny path, and I'll cross my narrow bridge.

She lifted her hand to take the medicinal wine the school's gatekeeper had given her, unscrewed the lid, poured some into her hand, and slowly rubbed it onto her wounded areas, applying the medicine while sorting through her life at sixteen in her previous life.

At sixteen, she had been so oppressed by Liu Li and her gang that her entire personality became warped, lashing out at anyone, biting those who truly cared about her. Reflecting on it made her feel incredibly foolish.

In her second year of high school, her stubbornness flared. Even after being beaten up by Liu Li time and time again, she told no one, neglected her studies, stopped reading books and doing homework, slept during class. Even with her smart mind, it was all wasted, and soon her grades plummeted, dragging Liu Li and others' down too.

Whenever she saw teachers pulling Liu Li aside for a heart-to-heart, or sighing as they watched her, Wan Chu'er would feel a secret thrill of pleasure, her grades becoming even worse until Liu Li ran out of options, resorting to stealing her money, making her do chores, and taking her frustrations out on her.

"What an idiot!" Wan Chu'er couldn't help but curse her past self. How could she have been so foolish to choose such a self-destructive tactic, damaging herself more than her enemies?

She should have done as she did today, beaten Liu Li without a second thought, and if once wasn't enough, then twice, three times...instead of letting herself be bullied without fighting back.

At this thought, recalling the way Liu Li looked at her today, she suspected that woman wouldn't be easy to shake off and might start looking for trouble again. Wan Chu'er resolved she had to be on guard. Looking at her own thin arms and legs, she decided she needed to exercise more, perhaps even learn some self-defense. Once she became stronger, no one would dare mess with her again.

She wondered if there was a place in Wutong County where she could learn martial arts. She was ready to swallow her pride, pay some extra money if necessary.

Speaking of money, she thought of her mother Bai Zhixi. During high school, all her financial support came from the pennies her mother earned from mending and making shoes for others.

Speaking of her, her mother was also a pitiable person. She lost her father at the age of eight, and at the same time, her mother lost a husband and a pillar of support. Since her parents only had her as a child, her father's relatives never regarded them well, barely seeing them once a year, let alone offering any help to the mother and daughter.

Bai Zhixi originally worked at the glass factory in Wutong County, but during the early '90s wave of layoffs, she became an unemployed worker. To support her, Bai Zhixi swallowed her pride and set up a small shoemaking stall on the street.

It was because of this shoemaking stall that Wan Chu'er had several disputes with Bai Zhixi, finding it too humiliating. To avoid embarrassing her daughter, Bai Zhixi moved her stall time and again to extremely remote locations. Not only did she earn less money, but it also made commuting difficult.

Bai Zhixi's shoemaking stall didn't earn much. She often skipped meals to save money for Wan Chu'er, only for Liu Li and others to steal it from her.

Still, Wan Chu'er would often argue with Bai Zhixi and lose her temper.

When Wan Chu'er was eighteen, Bai Zhixi collapsed forever at her shoemaking stall. Everyone said Bai Zhixi died of exhaustion.

But Wan Chu'er knew it was out of anger – anger at her daughter for being unfilial, disobedient, malnourished, and overworked, until she couldn't hold on any longer and fell.

"Slap—" Wan Chu'er felt so ashamed of herself that she couldn't help but slap her own face.

If Liu Li was an obsession of hers, then Bai Zhixi was a wound in her heart she dared not touch, as every touch would lead to Wan Chu'er harming herself, slashing her skin to punish herself. Even though Jiang Kechu scolded and hit her for it, the scars on her body only grew more numerous.

Wan Chu'er looked up at the sky; it was the afternoon, and Bai Zhixi should be setting up her stall in Southern City.

Thank goodness! Bai Zhixi was still there!

Wan Chu'er couldn't help but press her hands together in prayer, silently thanking the heavens: Thank you, you crafty old heavens, thank you for letting me return.

This time, she would repay everything she owed Bai Zhixi, move the stall back to the market near their home, no – she would find a way to earn money and let Bai Zhixi enjoy life;

She would also study hard, get into a good university this time and make Bai Zhixi proud instead of disappointed;

She would try to be a warm jacket for Bai Zhixi, which might be challenging, but she wanted Bai Zhixi to feel the happiness of having a caring daughter;

And as for An Lian, if Bai Zhixi was indeed interested, she wouldn't stand in their way anymore.

It was as if she had found the meaning to restart. Wan Chu'er felt her heart suddenly clear, and the sky seemed higher, the water clearer, and the mountains greener.

This time, she, Wan Chu'er, would let her sixteen-year-old self bloom like fireworks.

She quickened her pace, applying the remaining half bottle of medicinal liquor all over her body – that old man's medicinal liquor really worked, as she felt the pain in her body lighten significantly.

After tidying up her unruly hair and clothes covered in dirt, Wan Chu'er left the mountaintop with her head high, deciding to meet Bai Zhixi and help close the stall.

After Wan Chu'er left, a young man around twenty-five or twenty-six years old came out from behind the large rock where she had been. Glancing down at the increasingly insignificant figure of Wan Chu'er, he chuckled lightly, then spoke.

"Indeed, she's a fool!"

Two hours ago, he was basking in the sun on the mountain when suddenly he heard footsteps. Glancing up and seeing a girl in a sorry state, he thought it best to avoid embarrassment and trouble by hiding behind a large rock. To his surprise, the girl came and sat down right beside it, started to space out, then alternately laughed, cursed herself as a fool, an idiot, and even slapped herself – it was quite amusing to him.

As it turned out, the girl stayed there for two hours before leaving the mountain, and he hid for two hours as well, until his legs and feet started to go numb.