Chapter 120

Chase POV 

 "Emma, let's talk like the couple we are." I said to her, 

My patience was quickly thinning. 

 "If you think that's helping, think again." She shot at me. 

She had all her stuff in hand. It was so obvious she wanted to leave. 

 "What did you say to Lily?" She asked me again. 

 "I didn't have to say anything." I replied to her, "Gray didn't want to leave her. He just went to the airport and turned right back." 

 "Really?" She looked like I'd just told her a cock and bull story. 

 "Yeah." I replied. "We can go together if you want." I added. I didn't want to say the next bit, but she made me. "My dads got a private jet." 

 "I don't fucking care if he owns the world, Chase!" She screamed in my face, confirming that what I'd pulled was a dick move. 

 "I didn't mean it that way." I apologized. "Emma, I need you to please just calm down. I'm supposed to be the mad one here. What's going on?" I asked, tired. 

I felt so weak, tired of it all. The whole thing had sunk its teeth into me, and I was drained emotionally and even physically. 

 "I'll tell you, Chase." She set her shopping bags that were an ugly reminded of a guy I was gonna fuck up. "You're so fucking possessive, Chase." 

 "I can't help it. And I don't think that's the word you mean to use, it's protective." I corrected her. 

 "I put it the exact way I meant it, Chase. This is all so fucking wrong. We have nothing more holding us together. I've lost the baby you felt so poorly about, I see no other reason why you should hold me hostage. You've kinda made it clear that you don't wanna be in the same college as me. I'd have to fly there in about a week or two, and I need some time away from you to process it all." She said, 

 "But I told you I applied to MIT!" I screamed. I remember fucking telling her. 

 "Yeah, you lied." She shot back. "Cause the list wasn't even out then." 

 "Rules aren't made for some of us, Emma." I said. 

 "That's too obvious." Emma replied.

 "It's not my fault." I murmured. 

 "So you got in?" She asked. 

 "Yeah. They dropped mail at the house days ago." I replied. 

 "Alright." That was all she said. Nothing else. 

 "Aren't you happy?" I was confused, it sounded like it's all she ever wanted a while back. "Isn't that what you always wanted all along?" 

 "I'm not sure anymore." Emma said, looking me in the eye. 

A piece of my heart broke. 

 "You're not sure if you wanna do college with me?" I asked her. 

 "Yeah, I'm not." She affirmed. 

 "Emma, I think there are things we need to talk about." I said. 

 "I thought the same, Chase." She started, "Till I thought against it."

It was minutes past midnight, and every single time our voices went low, the sounds of crickets and wild, happy insects filled the room. 

 "Something is going on." I couldn't really believe what I was hearing from her. 

It felt like I'd been plunged into an alternate universe. 

 "Why?" I asked. 

 "Cause, when I really look at things, Chase, I don't think I know you." Emma replied to me. 

 "That's a fucking lie." I replied. I couldn't wrap my head around how many times I'd heard her say that. Coming from someone who'd I'd told every single thing about me, every unpleasant detail I never told anyone else. "Emma, really, what else is there to know. You keep saying it like I put on a facade when you're around. We've been through shit together, Emma. What is it, exactly, that you wanna know?" I was having a hard time keeping my voice down. 

She'd given up and sat down, and it didn't feel good that I was having a conversation standing over her, so I sat too. 

 "This is not how I planned this night." She said, more to herself. 

 "Same here." If anyone should be feeling bad for canceled plans, I think It should've been me. "I don't mean to do this, but Emma, I put so much fucking effort into everything. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to win you back. The only reason I involved Gray and Lily was because I thought you were tired of being stuck in here with me, or something…" 

 "You thought right." She interrupted. 

 "I gave you my card Emma, I wanted to be responsible for your happiness, I wanted you to have a fun day out, and a romantic night in. But you had other plans, first, you let a scoundrel from downtown settle your bills. Like that wasn't bad enough, Emma, you made arrangements with Lily to be on some fucking plane to Berlin in less than eighteen hours. Salt on the wound, is you talking to that animal in my house, Emma, that's where I draw the fucking line. A very thick one." 

 "He's none of those things you called him. Kevin's working for a tech company here in Arizona, for now at least." It baffled me how she took in all I said, and her only reply was in his defense. 

 "Do you still have feelings for him, Emma?" I asked her. I don't think I was mentally prepared for the question I asked, but I wanted clarity more than anything. 

 "You can't be serious, Chase." She said, shrugging it off. 

 "I'm dead serious, Emma." I replied. "You don't realise you hurt me, so many fucking times with these little things…"

 "I hope you heard yourself call them little. So why are you making an issue out of it?" She asked. 

 "Don't detour." I was dead serious. "They pile up to became big red fucking warning signs. Signs I'm tired of overlooking. Something is catastrophically wrong with us, and we have to make a decision." 

Maybe I saw Emma's bravado break down, maybe it was on my mind, I don't know. But what I really wanted was for her to fight for us. 

It was her mess, not mine. I tried already. 

 "Do you love him, Emma?" I asked again.