Chapter 140

Emma's POV 

 "Are you trying to say I can't have both you and Kev at the same time?" I asked Casey as she showed up to my apartment the morning after Kev left. 

 "Hi baby." She smiled widely, exposing her pretty set of teeth and additional piercings she'd gotten. 

 "How was Chicago?" I asked her, slapping her across the butt playfully. 

 "It was great." She looked like she was half drunk, cause she was smiling way too much. 

 "You look like it."I replied. Casey headed straight for my bed and bounced on it. 

 "That took all morning." I said sadly. 

 "Well, there's another morning in about twenty four hours." She laughed. 

 "There are at least eight more piercings I see in there." I joked at her smile. 

 "It's just two." She laughed. "Eight is the number of guys I fucked there. What have you been up to?" 

 "I don't know, really." I replied to her. "It's been here and there." 

 "Tell me about Chase." She bolted up, smiling. "Wait, is that his name?" She asked. 

 "Yeah, Chasington." I completed it. 

 "That's strange." She remarked. 

 "It's noble." I shot back. 

 "Sure. You'll see it as that." She said snidely. "Come on. There must be more juicy stuff." She sounded so excited, like she'd been told stuff she's waiting for me to confirm. 

 "Casey, no offense, but I've known you for less than a month, and Chase is just my ex. It's really not deeper than that." I replied to her. 

 "Well, in all the time you've known me, I've been a great ass friend." She said proudly. 

 "One who never called while away?" I asked, sarcastically. 

 "Em, when you work with people like that, you're not allowed to have your phone or use it. It's in the terms of a contract for privacy and security." She explained 

 "Alright, alright." I resigned. 

 "How have you been? She asked me. 

 "Been logging my wretched heart about." I replied to her. 

 "You look like it." She admitted, "You'll meet great people like me, Em. You really just have to be open to the idea of it." 

 "What does that mean?" I asked her. I felt like she was onto something. 

 "I don't like that look on your face." She said, tarrying. 

 "What's up, Casey?" I asked, losing my patience. 

 "I mean, Kevin's a nice guy." He said, looking away. "And he's got that handsome friend too, Fred." She added. "But that one is off boundaries for you." 

 "You're crazy." I said, disregarding her. 

 "You know I'm not." She said, confidently. "You can't keep having a nice guy running around like that, trying to do all the right things for you, when you're having your fingers crossed. I really think it's unfair." 

 "Did he put you up to this?" I asked her . 

 "Why would you think such?" She replied. "I haven't spoken with him in a while." 

 "It really just sounds like a spin off from our last conversation." I replied to her. "It's too intentional to be coincidences."

 "Em, you're purposely blinding yourself to everything everyone else is seeing." She said, touching my hand. 

 "Casey, it's been just a little over a month since Chase and I, I don't think I'm ready for something like that. I don't want to drag Kevin on, while I put someone else's head on his body. I've not seen Chase since we broke up, what if I see him and all the feelings start rushing back?" I asked

 "What if he has a girl on his side? What if he's moved on? What if he's on the side of some rich ass boogie chic in Harvard? What if he's over you? Don't leave the rest of these questions out of your 'what if's?'." 

 "Casey, it's really not that easy." I said. But really, she was beginning to put ideas in my head. 

 "Oh, I think it is. If a guy just wants to be in your memory, do his memorial, babe." Casey looked like someone who really couldn't give a shit if she wanted to. 

 "It's easier said than done." I said, taking a seat

Every conversation regarding my love life made me weaker than normal. 

 "Emma, I hate to see you like this. I want you to be happy, to be with someone who makes you happy. You keep being with someone in your head and your heart is with someone else." Casey seemed like she knew everything. 

 "I don't think I'm ready." I confessed. 

 "You never really know." She said, "Are you waiting for a sign, from whom?" 

 "A sign wouldn't be so bad." I concurred. 

 "Kevin is then." She said, flailing her arms. "Take the fact that you guys keep reconnecting as a big ass sign. And Em, just in case he never told you, he's got really thirsty girls in his DM. You'd be gay to not appreciate how handsome he is." She said, 

 "It's nothing to do with how great or not Kevin is as a person." I corrected her, "It's with me. I don't know if I'm ready. As you said, Kevin is quite a pick. How sure am I that he is really into me? I know he's had his fair share of girls. All these things I count as being cute, might just all be reused. Maybe he's said those exact words to other girls, maybe he's over with some girl wherever the fuck he is." I said, "if we're gonna be assuming for one party, we've got to for the other too." 

 "I think you should consider it, but take your time. In the end, it's you who matters." Casey said, "I got you chocolates." She reached for them in her bag and threw them all over the bed 

 "You just keep making things worse." I sighed, playfully. 

 "You're welcome." She laughed, 

My phone rang, and I rushed to get it from were I dropped it off on the counter. 

Lily's name and all the emojis I used to save her name flashed boldly on the screen. 

I looked to the right, where Casey was in my room, and back at my screen. 

For the first time, it occurred to me like I had begun to cheat on Lily, and I felt bad. But there was no way I was taking that call, because I wouldn't have been able to give her all my attention.