Taking a Step Back

Aria woke up the next morning with the warmth of the previous night still lingering in her mind, but alongside it came a new sense of resolve. The summer breeze whispered through the open window as she sat up in bed, brushing the sleep from her eyes. 

Last night with Russell had been... different. There had been a closeness, a sense of vulnerability that she hadn't allowed herself to feel in a long time. And yet, it also left her feeling more confused than ever.

She stared at the blank page on her laptop screen, the blinking cursor daring her to fill it with words. For days, maybe even weeks, her mind had been occupied with thoughts of Russell—what he meant to her, what she meant to him. 

But that morning, as she brewed her coffee and gathered her notebooks, Aria made a decision: she needed to refocus on her own life, her writing, and her studies. She had let her heart wander too far from her goals, and it was time to bring it back.

She spent most of the morning typing away at her desk, finding solace in the familiar rhythm of her keyboard. 

As the sun climbed higher, she became immersed in the world she was creating on the page, letting herself escape into the story she'd been struggling with for so long. 

It felt good, like she was finally finding her footing again. The words flowed more easily now, spurred on by the clarity of her decision to take a step back.

By the time afternoon rolled around, Aria had filled several pages with new chapters, and she felt a sense of accomplishment that she hadn't experienced in months. 

She stretched her arms above her head, glancing outside where the golden summer light streamed through the trees. She knew she couldn't avoid Russell forever—she didn't even want to. 

But she needed to create some distance for her own sake, to figure out what she truly wanted. Aria grabbed her phone and typed out a message to Russell, keeping it simple and honest. 

Hey, I'm going to be busy with writing and some university stuff for a while. Might be a little distant, but it's nothing personal. Just need to focus on things. 

She hit send before she could second-guess herself and set the phone down, exhaling as if releasing a breath she'd been holding in for too long.

Across town, Russell read her message with a furrowed brow, the screen casting a cool blue glow in the late afternoon light. He had been thinking about last night too, replaying the conversation on the porch over and over in his mind. 

He had sensed a shift in Aria, a softening of the walls she had built around herself. It had given him hope—hope that maybe she was ready to see him as more than just a friend.

But now, with her message staring back at him, that hope felt like it had slipped through his fingers. Russell leaned back against the wall of his room, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He understood her need for space, he respected it. 

But that didn't make it any easier to accept. He had come so close to telling her how he felt, and now it seemed like they were back to square one.

For the next few days, Russell kept his distance. He focused on his own life—basketball practices, studying for exams, spending time with friends like Alberta and Jodie. But every time his phone buzzed with a message, he found himself hoping it might be Aria. 

When it wasn't, he tried to shake off the disappointment, reminding himself that he had promised to respect her space.

At home, Aria poured herself into her writing with a new sense of determination. She spent hours at the library, flipping through reference books and scribbling notes in the margins. 

When she wasn't writing, she was preparing for her next set of exams, immersing herself in the world of academia. But even with her renewed focus, there was an emptiness that lingered in the quiet moments between tasks.

One afternoon, as she sat in the corner of the library with her laptop open, she caught herself glancing at her phone, wondering what Russell was up to. 

She had grown used to his presence, to the sound of his voice and the way he always seemed to understand when she needed to be left alone and when she needed someone to listen. A part of her missed that—the easy companionship they had built.

But she reminded herself of the decision she'd made. She couldn't keep relying on Russell to fill the gaps in her life, not when she still hadn't figured out what those gaps even were. So, she pushed those thoughts away and forced herself to focus on the novel she was writing. 

It was a story about self-discovery, about a woman finding her place in the world after everything she thought she knew had changed. Aria couldn't help but feel like she was writing her own journey, in a way.

For Russell, the days passed slowly without their usual chats and meetups. He threw himself into basketball, using the physical exertion as a way to work through his frustration. But his friends, Alberta and Jodie, noticed the shift in him.

"Hey, Russell," Alberta said one evening after practice, her voice casual but probing. "You've been kind of quiet lately. Something going on with you and Aria?"

Russell hesitated, adjusting the strap of his gym bag. "She just... needs some space, I guess," he admitted, trying to sound nonchalant. "She's focusing on her writing and school stuff."

Alberta gave him a knowing look, her expression softening with sympathy. "And that bothers you, doesn't it? Because you miss her."

Russell shrugged, avoiding her gaze. He didn't know how to put into words the mixture of longing and frustration he felt, the way he wanted to respect Aria's wishes but couldn't shake the ache in his chest whenever he thought of her.

Jodie, who had been listening quietly, chimed in. "Maybe she just needs time to figure things out, Russell. But that doesn't mean she's forgotten about you."

Russell appreciated their words, but they did little to ease the uncertainty that had taken root in his mind. 

He spent the next few nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling and wondering if he should have been more open with Aria about his feelings before she decided to take a step back. 

But what if he'd pushed too hard and ruined everything? He kept replaying different scenarios in his head, none of them leading to a clear answer.

Meanwhile, Aria was battling her own internal conflicts. As much as she tried to immerse herself in her work, her thoughts kept drifting back to Russell. 

She remembered the way he had stood by her when she ran into Rian, how he had quietly offered his support without asking for anything in return. 

She thought about the way he had listened to her on the porch, how he never pushed her to open up but was always there when she was ready.

One evening, as she sat by her window with her journal in her lap, she scribbled down a thought that had been haunting her for days. 

What am I so afraid of? 

The question lingered on the page, staring back at her in the dim light. She wasn't sure if she had an answer yet, but she knew that she couldn't keep running away from her own feelings forever.

Across town, Russell stood in front of his window, looking out at the same evening sky. He wondered if Aria was watching the same sunset, if she was thinking about him the way he couldn't stop thinking about her. 

He wished he could find the right words to tell her everything he felt, but he had seen the walls she had built up, and he didn't want to push her away by trying to scale them too quickly.

As the days stretched into weeks, Aria and Russell fell into a new rhythm—one defined by distance and uncertainty, but still connected by the unspoken bond between them. 

Aria focused on her writing, pouring her feelings into the pages of her novel, while Russell found comfort in the routines of his own life. 

And yet, in the quiet moments between, both of them wondered what might happen if they stopped holding back—if they allowed themselves to take the risk of being honest, with each other and with themselves.

For now, though, they stayed on their separate paths, each waiting for a sign that it was time to come back together again.