Crazy Plot Twist!!

"...Huh?"

The dust cleared, revealing his "goddess."

Green-robed, beautiful. Check. Lips made for kissing? Check. Eyes charming enough to guarantee good genetics? Double check. A bosom he could admire now and play with later—once their future kids were running around? Absolute perfection. The rest? A body carved by the heavens themselves.

His heart raced for a blissful second—before his brain caught up.

His initial grin froze, "Wait a minute…"

The "goddess" shifted, groaning in his arms. Zhu Qing. His supposed "guardian," the one who had sent him to this wasteland in the first place.

"Oh, great," he muttered, his earlier excitement replaced by exasperation. "Not a fairy, just my personal harbinger of bad luck. Thanks a lot, heavens!"

Zhu Qing's eyes snapped open, narrowing into dangerous slits. "Put. Me. Down."