Chapter123

Deborah's POV

The air in the room hung heavy with tension, thick enough to feel tangible.

I thought about sipping the tea on the table to ease the discomfort, but it had long since gone cold. When I glanced up, I noticed Chad's gaze fixed on the window. He seemed lost in thought, as if weighing something unspoken.

After a long pause, he finally broke the silence. "I've been meaning to say this—thank you for coming to the hospital to see me every day. Even though it's been a little while now, I still felt I should say it. You were the only one who visited me."

His words hit me like a sudden gust of wind. The only one who visited him.

It struck me then that Chad, both in this life and the last, seemed utterly alone. His life had always appeared monotonous and barren of companionship. Reflecting on the past, I had once naively believed he spent all his time with me out of love. Now, I realized his solitude wasn't entirely his choice. Perhaps no one had ever tried to get close to him, or perhaps he had deliberately kept others at a distance.

The realization stirred something complicated within me. My feelings for Chad were a tumultuous mix of love and hate. But the hate—it was real, visceral. He was the executioner of Hybrasil, the destroyer of my family. That fact was a weight I couldn't shake, a shadow that followed me relentlessly.

Trying to ground myself, I seized the moment to voice a question that had lingered in my mind since the hospital. "What happened in Tirfothuinn? Why were you so badly hurt?"

Chad's expression flickered briefly, betraying his hesitation. He hadn't anticipated the question.

"Was it Matthew?" I pressed, recalling what the doctors had said about the injuries caused by wolves.

He shook his head, his voice low. "No. It wasn't Matthew—it was other wolves."

"Other wolves?" I frowned, confusion tightening my chest.

Chad's mouth curled into a faint, bitter smile. "You know how it is. I'm just a half-wolf, and worse—a half-wolf from the Sky Cities. To real wolves, I'm little more than a traitor. Sure, I'm stronger than most humans, but that doesn't mean much among them."

He paused, as if debating whether to continue, then added, "Take Matthew, for example—he's much stronger than I'll ever be. Not surprising, since he's an Alpha's son."

His words carried an undertone of self-deprecation, and for a brief moment, I saw a glimpse of vulnerability in his typically stoic demeanor.

"Aren't the wolves supposed to follow Matthew's lead?" I asked, frowning in confusion. "Did he just stand by and let them attack you?"

Chad didn't reply. His silence said more than words ever could.

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. Matthew had allowed it—perhaps even encouraged it. And I knew why. It was because of the trip Chad and I had taken to Hybrasil.

This was my fault.

The guilt gnawed at me, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. What good would it do now?

Chad stood abruptly, brushing off imaginary dust from his sleeve. "I should go. There's still work to do."

I looked up at him. "How are things with the Coalition Forces? You've barely recovered."

He let out a dry chuckle. "They've started making moves," he said, his tone detached. "But I've only just returned to work, so I don't have all the latest updates. As for Hybrasil, I'll keep monitoring the situation for you."

He hesitated, then added, "One more thing…"

"What is it?" I asked, sensing something heavier beneath his casual tone.

"You should learn how to pilot an airship." His voice dropped slightly, carrying an uncharacteristic gravity. "In case I'm not here."

His words struck a nerve, sending a shiver down my spine.

"What do you mean, 'not around'?" I asked sharply, my eyes narrowing. "Not around in Ablach? Not around me? Or…"

Not alive?

Chad gave a faint laugh, brushing off my question. "It's nothing. I just think you should be able to act independently. If a war breaks out, I'll be even busier. There's a chance I might end up on the front lines."

"The front lines?" I shot to my feet, my voice rising. "Are you saying you'd help my father attack Tirfothuinn?"

He adjusted his cuff absentmindedly, his gaze distant. "Who knows? After all, I did successfully conquer Hybrasil. Didn't Barron tell you about my 'heroic achievements'?"

His tone was deliberately nonchalant, but the bitterness in his words was unmistakable. It wasn't pride he felt—it was disdain, perhaps even guilt.

I stood there, my breath catching in my throat. What was he trying to say? Was this a warning, or just another one of his tests?

When he finally left, I sank back onto the sofa, my thoughts spiraling.

Chad's words hung over me like a storm cloud. The Coalition Forces' movements, the need to learn piloting, his potential deployment to the front lines—none of it sat well with me.

Would he truly stand against Tirfothuinn?

A darker thought crept into my mind: what if Lugh discovered that Chad had shifted his loyalties? What if he learned the truth about Chad's lineage—that his mother was a wolf and that he was Matthew's half-brother? Would Lugh kill him for his perceived betrayal?

The questions churned in my mind, leaving me breathless with worry.

And yet, my feelings for Chad were perhaps the most unsettling of all. Despite everything—the blood on his hands, the destruction he caused—I couldn't ignore the warmth that crept into my chest whenever he was near. It terrified me to think that my heart might be betraying me, softening for someone who had once been my greatest enemy.

But was this affection real? Or was he using me, manipulating me with calculated precision? Could all of this be a ploy to gain my trust before delivering a fatal blow to Tirfothuinn?

The doubt gnawed at me like a persistent shadow, leaving me trapped in an endless cycle of suspicion and longing.

Chad, who are you really? And what do you want from me?