At the owner's insistent request, Albedo was eventually escorted out by a server, who treated him with the utmost respect. However, before leaving, Albedo took the matter seriously enough to sign an autograph for the owner.
"So, how did you find it? Fun?"
Albedo turned his gaze toward Gu Sanqiu, who was supposed to have fled the scene after skipping the bill but was now lounging on a bench by the roadside, chewing absentmindedly on a mint leaf.
"Did you arrange this whole thing?"
"If you could teach me some kind of cloning technique, maybe I could pull something like that off."
Gu Sanqiu waved dismissively. "Relax. The world isn't full of conspiracies. I can guarantee you that I picked that tavern at random, and the owner wasn't some actor I hired."
"I just wanted to show you that, even though you're a homebody who rarely steps outside and might seem socially anxious, the people of Mondstadt aren't unfamiliar with you."
"Hmm, how should I put it? It's like... even though you're not actively out there in the world, the world is full of your legends."
Albedo froze. "Don't think I don't know what that phrase means. Comparing me to some martial artist from a wuxia novel is far from accurate."
"Whether it's accurate doesn't matter. I'm not going to ask you if today's experience gave you any insights—this isn't some reading comprehension test for miserable students. We were just out for a drink."
Gu Sanqiu stood up. "And let me teach you something else. Do you know why I ran off earlier, instead of sticking around to watch the owner keep praising you?"
Albedo asked seriously, "Why?"
"Oh, because even among friends, there are classic pranks like this one: someone says it's their treat, then sneakily leaves, forcing you to pay. Sometimes they even swipe your wallet beforehand, swooping in to 'save' you right as you're about to be dragged into the back to wash dishes."
Albedo gave Gu Sanqiu a long, deliberate look. "In other words, this so-called friend takes pleasure in their companion's misfortune. That's the gist of it, right?"
"Of course not. It's actually a form of proof of friendship," Gu Sanqiu replied with a perfectly straight face. "Ordinary acquaintances wouldn't pull stunts like that. They'd need other, more conventional methods to maintain and deepen their bond. You get what I mean?"
Albedo stared at him. "I still think you're just making excuses to justify getting amusement at your friends' expense, dressed up as some grand philosophy."
"See, this is the downside of being friends with someone who thinks too quickly."
Gu Sanqiu clicked his tongue, muttering to himself that someone like Chongyun was far easier to fool—what with his head full of talismans and exorcism rituals, leaving no room for anything else.
No wonder Xingqiu liked bringing him along.
Trying to outwit Albedo? Better not let him get serious and turn the tables; the consequences wouldn't be pretty.
Good thing I'm smart.
For a fleeting moment, Albedo felt grateful that his creator had not designed him purely as a combat entity.
"Still, I do recall what the owner mentioned," Albedo said. "That matter stemmed from a file I happened to come across at the alchemy guild. Originally, the proposal was to allocate guild funds to purchase new furniture and winter clothing for Mondstadt's elderly."
"But when I saw it, I realized it was an opportunity to build some goodwill in Mondstadt, so I took it."
Albedo looked at Gu Sanqiu. "Most things I've done follow that same logic. That's also why I insisted on paying the bill earlier. To me, what I did was just a fair exchange."
"Oh, so now you're saying you need a noble justification for it? Like, for Mondstadt's brighter future, or to ensure a good life for its people?" Gu Sanqiu shrugged. "Look past appearances, my friend. What you see as a transaction, they see as help from Master Albedo of the alchemy guild."
"Nowadays, people see favors as mere bargaining chips. That's why when someone says 'you owe me a favor,' it's more annoying than anything—they either want it resolved immediately or to settle the debt quickly."
Gu Sanqiu laughed. "You think the guild's standard charity outreach was a first? Absolutely not. For those seniors, the crucial thing wasn't just the convenience of tools that regulated temperature and humidity or the free recharging station. It was the thoughtfulness behind your actions."
"It's like me chopping down evil spirits in Liyue. During the Lantern Rite, my intention was simply to help Xiao and eliminate those annoying creatures. The added benefit was making the city safer for its people."
"Plenty of folks gave me food and gifts afterward, but if you listen to what I'm saying, you'll realize my goal wasn't to help them—not at the time, anyway."
Fixing the big-picture problems of Liyue's populace? Please. The Qixing were already hard at work on that front. As for him, he just needed to follow his own plans.
"Don't you feel even a little guilty?"
"Of course I do. Guilt is a good thing. It means you see them as connected to you—as people you care about. More directly, it means you see yourself as human."
Gu Sanqiu patted Albedo's shoulder. "So keep doing those exchanges. Use your guilt to earn their gratitude and leave behind more of Albedo's legacy in Mondstadt."
"The people here are simple and honest. If you think interacting with them might strain your social skills, you're welcome to stay in Liyue for a bit."
Gu Sanqiu gave him a knowing smirk. "By then, you'd be Teyvat's renowned alchemist, the captain of the Knights of Favonius' investigation team, and whatever other titles you might have."
"And most importantly, among all those titles, you'd also be known as a close friend of a perfumed incense master. I guarantee plenty of people would come to you with all kinds of motives."
Albedo thought about it seriously before looking at Gu Sanqiu. "Should I take this as you shamelessly bragging about yourself?"
"Pretty much."
Gu Sanqiu gently placed the mint leaf onto the grass. "Don't live so rigidly. If you overthink everything, you'll drive yourself mad. The more you obsess over whether you're human, the less human you'll feel."
"And what is 'human,' anyway? The answer depends entirely on your perspective—biologically or philosophically, you'll get different answers."
"The fact that you're even asking the question proves you want to be truly human. So why not embrace a little ignorance now and then?"
Gu Sanqiu spoke solemnly. "You are Albedo. That will never change, and that's what everyone remembers. Your origins don't define who you are."
"Those Abyss Order fools who call you a 'flawed imitation of perfection'? Next time you see them, just beat them into the ground. Then carve this on their gravestone:"
"Remember my name. I am Albedo."