My head swims with all I learned at my family’s lawyer’s office today. Hurt slices through me with the secrets my mother kept. Why wouldn’t she tell me? With my dad’s death, the farm was paid in full. I never knew this. My mother had a thousand more dollars per month that she apparently squandered on her drinking. A tiny part of me hopes she didn’t spend it on alcohol but on something responsible. Maybe I will uncover it in the days to come, but I’m not holding my breath.