Chapter 243: Oh God, Please Save Me!

"Chuchu, Qingqing, you're back?" Xiang Ri's eyes lit up as he spoke, breaking the monotony of flipping through television channels while lounging on the sofa. 

"Xiang Kui, is lunch ready?" Chuchu, seeing his relaxed demeanor, assumed the meal was already prepared. 

"Not yet," Xiang Ri replied, his face clouded with frustration at the thought of consuming the concoction of "poisonous" half-cooked dishes awaiting him. It would undoubtedly test the resilience of his immune system. 

Still, for the reward promised afterward, he was willing to endure—even if it meant being poisoned half to death. 

"Then why are you still sitting there? Do you plan to starve us?" Chuchu demanded, seizing the opportunity to berate him. 

"How could I? Even if I starved myself, I wouldn't let you two go hungry!" Xiang Ri protested his innocence. "Honestly, I'd love to cook a feast for you, but unfortunately, someone has already commandeered the kitchen." 

"Really?" Chuchu paused, momentarily perplexed, before realization dawned. "You mean An An is in the kitchen?" 

Xiang Ri shrugged helplessly in response. 

"Oh no!" Chuchu exclaimed, dashing toward the kitchen. She vividly remembered the disastrous, overly potent dishes the young mistress had concocted the previous day. Xiang Ri had bravely sampled them, but curiosity had led Chuchu to take a bite herself. The memory of that taste... she didn't dare let it resurface, lest she lose her appetite for lunch. 

Before even reaching the kitchen, she was already shouting, "An An—" hoping to halt the culinary calamity in progress. 

With a sigh, Xiang Ri watched her disappear into the kitchen, a faint glimmer of hope flickering in his heart. If Chuchu could stop that woman from carrying out her "murderous" intentions, wouldn't that be wonderful? 

But alas, it was a mere fantasy. By now, those "poisons" were likely already prepared. 

As Xiang Ri sighed deeply, Shi Qing, who had been silent since entering, approached him with a mysterious expression. "Teacher, did you upset An An again?" 

"What do you mean, upset?" Xiang Ri, feigning innocence, looked indignant. "Do I look like someone who finds joy in stirring trouble?" 

"Oh?" Shi Qing raised an eyebrow, pretending to recall something. "As far as I know, An An isn't the type who enjoys cooking. And considering it was her idea for you to make lunch today, why would she suddenly take over…?" She trailed off, but her implication was crystal clear. 

"Qingqing, can you not be so perceptive all the time?" Xiang Ri realized there was no fooling his overly astute disciple. She knew about his relationship with An An, and her sharp mind made uncovering the truth a simple task. 

"Teacher, it's not about being perceptive; this is just common sense," Shi Qing retorted matter-of-factly before plopping herself onto the sofa beside him. 

"Fine, fine," Xiang Ri conceded, pulling her into his arms. Then, a mischievous glint flickered in his eyes. "Qingqing, I've been meaning to ask—don't you think calling me 'teacher' is a bit… inappropriate?" 

"And what else would I call you—" Shi Qing began, but she faltered midway as a realization dawned upon her. A faint blush crept across her cheeks. 

"Heh heh…" Xiang Ri chuckled slyly, revealing his true nature at last. "Don't you think calling me 'husband' would be more fitting?" 

"Teacher!" Shi Qing exclaimed in mock anger, her face flushing a deeper red. Seeing his cheeky grin, she reached out to pinch the soft flesh at his waist. 

"Ouch! Qingqing, can't you be gentler?" Xiang Ri cried, putting on a pained expression. 

Shi Qing, falling for his act, immediately released her grip, her tone laced with triumph. "Let's see if you dare spout nonsense again!" 

Seeing his mischievous plan succeed, Xiang Ri teased further, "Qingqing, I'm doing this for your sake, you know. Think about it—if we have children someday, and you keep calling me 'teacher,' what would they call me? Wouldn't that confuse the family hierarchy?" 

Shi Qing had assumed he would stop his teasing, but his words grew even more audacious, making her blush furiously. She rolled her eyes at him in exasperation. "Teacher, I'm not talking to you anymore!" She struggled to escape his embrace, trying to stand up. 

"Don't, Qingqing! I was wrong, okay? Forgive me, won't you?" Xiang Ri quickly tightened his hold, reluctant to let go of her warm and fragrant presence. He was just about to offer soothing words to pacify her when a sound from the kitchen interrupted them. 

"Lunch is ready! Everyone, wash your hands!" An An's cheerful voice rang out, brimming with enthusiasm. 

A chill ran down Xiang Ri's spine. That girl—could she have concocted another one of her husband-murdering schemes? 

"An An, is this really edible?" Chuchu's voice carried a heavy tone of skepticism. 

"Don't worry, it's fine! Besides, it's for Xiang Kui, that guy. We'll just stick to fried eggs," An An replied nonchalantly. 

Xiang Ri ground his teeth in frustration, already plotting how he'd get his revenge during the afternoon nap. 

"But…" Chuchu attempted to voice her concerns, only to be cut off by An An. "Oh, come on! Relax, nothing will happen. Xiang Kui is easy to feed—this might not even be enough for him!" 

Xiang Ri nearly stumbled upon hearing this. *Feed? What do they take me for—a pig?* 

Despite the table full of dishes resembling black sesame paste, Xiang Ri had no appetite. However, for the reward promised afterward, he braced himself and dove in. 

Fortunately, this time, An An hadn't added copious amounts of salt. Otherwise, the sheer amount of rice needed to accompany the dishes might have left him either poisoned or overstuffed. 

Perhaps it was her prior experience that tempered her culinary experiments. While today's dishes still didn't qualify as "barely edible," they no longer seemed like pure poison. At least Xiang Ri was confident he wouldn't meet his end at the dining table. 

Chuchu and Shi Qing watched in astonishment as he devoured half the meal with alarming speed. Had they not personally tasted An An's previous culinary disasters, they might have mistaken this for a gourmet feast. 

If not for the occasional flicker of pain on his face, they might have been tempted to try the dishes themselves. 

Patting his slightly bloated stomach, Xiang Ri rose to fetch a glass of water to rinse his mouth and alleviate the numbness on his tongue. Just as he was about to head to the kitchen, An An spoke up. 

"I'm full, too. Time to head to school." 

Xiang Ri froze mid-step, staring at her in disbelief. "You're saying you're going to school right now?" 

"Yes, why not? Do I need your permission to go to school?" An An's eyes glimmered with the unmistakable light of a plan well executed. 

Xiang Ri immediately realized that he had been played. An An had no intention of "rewarding" him at all. No wonder she had eagerly suggested he take a nap in her bedroom, even offering to have Shi Qing join them. It was clear now that such blatant schemes to take advantage of him were never her true intentions. It was infuriating how easily he had fallen for it. 

The realization made his eyes burn with frustration, yet he couldn't voice the truth because, aside from his apprentice Shi Qing, Chuchu was also watching him with a puzzled gaze. 

With no other option, Xiang Ri shot a fierce glare at the smug An An, his teeth gritted as he spat out through clenched jaws, "Take care—don't trip on your way!" 

"Thanks for the concern, but such a thing will never happen to me," An An replied, her grin widening with satisfaction. 

"Alright, enough. I've got a club activity to attend this afternoon. Plus, our school is playing against your basketball team this Sunday. As the assistant coach of the school team, I don't have time to slack off. I'll see you later!" She turned to leave in a flash. 

Xiang Ri hurriedly stopped her, disbelief evident in his voice. "You're the assistant coach of your school's basketball team?" 

"Yes, why? Is that so strange? Speaking of which, I was planning to ask you, Qingqing, and Chuchu to come cheer for me. What do you say? You wouldn't refuse to help me just because you're so tall, would you?" 

"I... might not have time..." Xiang Ri broke into a cold sweat. The world seemed too absurd; it was as though even this bizarre situation had collided in his life. 

It appeared he had made a bet with a certain slender girl to defeat the university's basketball team completely, and the stakes were most tempting. But how would he face An An in this predicament? 

Not only would he not be cheering for her, but he might even end up helping her rivals—this was a sure recipe for disaster. The thought of it left Xiang Ri lamenting in silence. 

Oh, God, please help me!