Secrets of the Past

The final week of the school year at Hogwarts arrived with the closing month of June, which meant that everyone was finishing up their O.W.L.s, especially for seventh years who were taking their N.E.W.T.s.

Severus was let out of the hospital wing the next morning after his 'incident' with Mulciber and Avery. While everyone knew something happened to him, no one really knew the specifics. There were a couple of rumors though, a few of which involved the Marauders pulling a prank that went wrong. But as far as anyone was concerned, especially those in Slytherin, nothing serious that they knew about, which he was more than happy to leave at that. Pity was something he hated from others.

Even though he didn't rat on anyone involved, he could feel the murderous glances by those who were. During breakfast and dinnertime, everyone would sit far away from him, leaving him alone. And while a part of him knew that there were far worse fates than sitting alone, he couldn't help but feel a sting in his heart. Even in classes and walks through the hallways he was met with Slytherins staring at him like he was a criminal and those who avoided looking in his direction.

But the worst of it all was the evenings in the Common Room and the boys' dormitory of House Slytherin. Every once and a while, he had to watch his back for hexes and pranks that were waiting for him. He had to check his bed before going to sleep and then warding it against anyone who would try to pull something on him. He even had to ward his personal belongings, which wasn't much.

But the last three days he had to endure felt like an eternity to him. At least when it came to the Marauders he could feel a sense of safety in his own House. But now, he couldn't even get a good night's rest anymore.

He did his detention with Professor Slughorn as he was told, even companying Slughorn to Hogsmeade for the weekend. But outside of that, it was torture for him. He spent much of his time outside of the Castle, sitting beneath the same tree as he always did when he needed to be alone. Although his O.W.Ls were done, he studied in order to keep himself busy, while also watching out for the Marauders or anyone from his House.

There were times when he would see Lily. In classes, in the hallways, in the Great Hall during breakfast and dinner. Every time he saw her his heart would race and ache, all at the same time. He felt mixed emotions going through him. Happiness, sadness, heartache, fear, confusion, anger. He could feel it all within a matter of a few seconds. He wanted nothing more than to go to her and beg for her forgiveness. He couldn't take it anymore. All he wanted was to have her back in his life. He couldn't take another moment being alone. It was weighing down on him, crushing his heart and soul.

It was a Sunday afternoon when he finally got his chance to talk with her in private, after Slughorn has let him go early from detention. She was always with her Gryffindor roommates Mary McDonald, Emmeline Vance, and Marlene McKinnon, making it almost impossible to get some alone time without anyone knowing. A part of him felt silly and stupid for being afraid to approach her. He was supposed to be in control of his feelings, not the other way around.

While on the way towards dinner in the Great Hall, he overheard Lily talking to her friends from a distance, making him stop in his path.

"I'll meet up with you guys at dinner. I just need to drop my things off in the dormitory." Lily waved to her friends and began to walk to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Seeing his chance, Severus followed and began to run, his heart racing and his eyes set on her red hair. It moved across her upper back, free from the Wizard ropes she was wearing, exposing its beauty to a near dark hallway.

When he reached her, he called out, "Lily!"

Stopping, Lily turned towards him and sighed, almost turning back around to leave until Severus put a hand on her shoulder.

"Please," he pleaded. "Just... just hear me out. That's all I ask. A few minutes of your time. Please."

He could hear her sighing again, rubbing the right side of her temple as she turned to look at him. And for once in Severus's life, he wished he was blind to not see what was staring back at him.

All he could see was anger, sadness, and disgust in her beautiful green eyes. He felt his heart sink and ache, like someone was ripping it from his chest and squeezing the life out of it. Like it was his own personal hell he had created for himself. And he didn't blame anyone for it. Not James Potter. Not the Marauders. Not even Lily. No, for once, he blamed himself. He called her that nasty word that he had now come to hate. A part of him wanted to make the excuse that he was embarrassed and humiliated, and that he only said that word because of the influence of his House. But then there was another part of him that said to suck it up and take responsibility. To own what he had done and accept it.

He swallowed, feeling the sweat on his forehead.

"I'm...," he barely spoke,"... I'm sorry."

Lily scoffed and shook her head, turning away to leave.

"I don't have time for this, Snape."

Without thinking, Severus reached out with his hand and touched her on the shoulder again, making her stop.

"No, please! I really am sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for being difficult. I know what others think of me, and to be honest, they're not wrong. I do have an unhealthy fascination for the Dark Arts. And you were right as well. I couldn't wait to join You-Know-Who and become a Death Eater. You were right about so much, and I was so blind to not have seen how bad and wrong it all was."

Lily stared at him, her mouth almost wide open, but she quickly recovered and shook her head.

"Severus, what part of 'this is over' did you not understand? You made your choice, and I've made mine. How do I know you mean everything you're saying? I can't even know for certain if I can trust you."

Hurt by her words, he willed himself to remain strong.

"Lily, I don't want to be a part of that anymore. I'm no longer friends with Mulciber or Avery. I'm done with them. I'm done with the Dark Arts." He paused. "All I want is to repair our friendship and save what is left. I miss you, Lily. I promise I will do anything to make it right."

Lily looked towards the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes anymore.

"I don't know if you can," her voice lowered. "What you called me, that word... you have no idea how much it hurt me when I heard it leave your lips. There was once a time when you couldn't even think of that word around me. Why can't you see that Slytherin is evil, Severus?! The boy I remember had dreams of inventing new spells and using them for good. I remember how much you used to care, before Hogwarts. But ever since you were Sorted into Slytherin, you've become more cold and bitter. You've closed yourself off and don't let anyone close to you, not even me. I sometimes wonder what you're thinking half the time."

"You're my best friend, Lily! And that's never going to change. Not for me. Just please... give me another chance."

Lily continued to look away as she processed his words, mixed emotions filled her heart and mind, making her think. It felt like an eternity to Severus as he watched her, his heart pounding in his chest.

Looking back up to meet his eyes, she pushed his hand away from her shoulder and her expression became unreadable for the moment, standing firm.

"I'm sorry, Snape, but I don't believe YOU. I know about what you did for Alice and Rachel, but how do I know if all of this is just to make yourself feel better and to trick me into being your friend again? Maybe some part of you does want to change, but I believe that you truly don't want to. How do l know you won't immediately go straight back to hurting me again." She took a step back. "I've made my decision and I'm standing by it." She looked away from him, ignoring the hurt expression on his face. "Don't ever try to talk to me again. If you do, I'll won't respond. Goodbye, Snape. I hope you enjoy your time with those monsters."

The words slowly reached him as he watched Lily turn and walk away, her footsteps sounding like distant sounds in a cave, echoing off the walls as she got further and further away. He wanted to run after her, to continue to beg for her forgiveness. He meant by what he said that he would fight for their friendship, but he knew that she would only ignore him like she promised and never give him the chance say anything. It was slowly dawning on him that he truly did lose her this time. He crossed a line that never should have been crossed and he was paying the price for it.

For how long he stood there in the hallway, he didn't know. It was already dark out and everyone was in the Great Hall, eating dinner. But he didn't have an appetite anymore, nor did he ever in the last week. The last thing he wanted was to go to the Slytherin table and see the eyes of his fellow House members staring at him with hatred. The best thing he could do was go back to the boys dormitory and study in his bed, definitely get a head start of re-warding his area and also his stuff.

As he continued to stand where he was, he felt the tears coming and immediately started heading back to House Slytherin. The last thing he wanted was for someone to hear or see him crying. Once he arrived at his bed, he broke down and fell against the covers of his mattress. He sobbed and his cries echoed across the room. Thankfully, no one else was there, leaving him to let out as much tears and cries of pain as he needed. He could feel his heart hurting from the crying, even his eyes hurt from the amount of tears he was producing. He could feel them running down his cheeks and soaking the covers beneath him. But he didn't care at the moment. For once in such a very long time, if not ever, he wanted to let loose his emotions and let them have their day.

As he laid there, memories of his times with Lily came back to him. He remembered the first day they met, when he introduced himself and told her everything about the Wizarding World and Hogwarts. He remembered the times that they spent in the park, sitting right next to the same tree as they always did, talking and looking up towards the skies, imagining wonders. He also remembered when they got their Hogwarts Acceptance Letters by owls and when they went to Diagon Alley for the first time with their parents. Minus his father. Just watching her eyes light up with excitement and happiness was the best thing he ever saw. He smiled just because she was smiling. To him, things were much more perfect back then. Back in a time before the world of Hogwarts entered his life and messed everything up. At least back then he had Lily.

But now? Now he felt alone. Truly alone. 

He had lost Lily. Maybe forever. And his entire House hated him. It felt like everyone was against him, even the teachers. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the time before Hogwarts entered his life. Before Slytherin. Before James Potter. Before he ever discovered the Dart Arts, the whole Pureblood race, the Death Eaters.

Suddenly, Severus stopped crying and the whole room went silent. He felt his sadness and pain being replaced with anger and determination. His eyes narrowed as he came to a realization. The Dark Arts! The Death Eaters! Voldemort! They did this to him! Yes, he had chosen the path he was previously on and was responsible for everything he has done, but the true source wasn't him. It was the Death Eaters and the man they served! Slytherin was just a recruitment house for the Dark Lord to build his army. And he was nearly pulled right into that scandal.

He laughed at himself, seeing the irony.

House Slytherin was supposed to be about ambition, cunning and resourcefulness. Traits to be used to do great things, not evil. Instead, the Purebloods and the Death Eaters turned it into a twisted version of the Nazis from the Muggle World. There was not a single Muggleborn in the House, despite there being half-bloods. What did it matter if a person blood was pure? Or what their ancestry and background was? When did he, Severus Snape, became so prejudice and ignorant of what he was truly doing. Gryffindor was known for not being so observant and for rushing in without using their heads. While Slytherins were supposed to be the House that was observant and did use their heads, to be able to see the outcome right before them. But yet, a Gryffindor saw what Slytherin was... and he didn't see it.

Getting up from the bed, he got to his knees and pulled his Hogwarts school trunk from under his bed, bringing it to his knees. Opening it, he reached inside and took out nearly a dozen or more books and piled them on the floor. Once satisfied that he got all the ones he intended, he closed his trunk and pushed it back under the bed. Standing up, he took out his wand and pointed at the small pile of books on the ground.

Without hesitation, he whispered, "Incendio!"

A light of orange and red came from the end of his wand and struck the pile, bursting all of the books into flames. Watching the fire consume the pages and the hardcovers, Severus's face remained expressionless. He continued to watch, even when he could smell the burning of wood. The books he had destroyed were all he had of the Dark Arts. Every single one of them. He held no remorse or regret as he watched his once personal favorite books turn to ash before him. Once he was satisfied, he used his wand to put out the fire and then used the Mending Charm to repair the burnt floor. He also got rid of the burning smell as well and sat down at the edge of his bed, staring down at his rusty old shoes.

There was a sense of satisfaction within himself as he processed what he had did. He felt a sense of relief as he smiled and nodded to himself. He had taken one of the first steps in doing what he wanted to do. Change. Those books had been messing with his life far enough and now he was finally free of them. He was no longer being influenced by Slytherin or potential Death Eaters anymore. Now he could add the Dart Arts to that list.

He agreed with Lily that she was right about a lot of things. He did lose her and their friendship. But there was one thing she was completely wrong about. It wasn't too late to save himself. 

Severus couldn't help but smile at that thought. If there was one thing that Slytherins were truly good at, it was stepping up to a challenge.

Some time passed as he sat on his bed, thinking.

But as his mind wandered, he immediately remembered the dream and the little mysterious little boy with the crocodile pillow that kept on haunting him. He knew what he needed to do in order to get answers. Reaching over to the small drawer, right next to his bed, he grabbed a piece of paper and a quill, getting it wet with black ink. Leaning against the drawer, he began to write a letter.

A letter for his mother.

/

At the small house of Spinner's End, Eileen Snape sat in her chair, staring out the window of her bedroom. Time meant nothing to her as she continued to remain in this state, not even noticing as her husband, Tobias Snape, left for work that morning. Every day it was like this. Whenever she wasn't cleaning the house of Tobias's filth or taking care of Severus, she was always in her room, sitting in that exact chair. She barely left the house, other than when she had to pick up food and beer at the grocery store downtown.

There was a time when Eileen used to be a happy person. She was once one of the heirs to the Prince Family dynasty, daughter to Cornelius and Rebekka Prince. Despite that her father was a very hard and cruel man, who showed no love for his family, her mother was the opposite, being the most gentle, caring person in her life. No matter what, she was always there for her and loved her with all of her heart. Life at the Prince Manor wasn't all bad as she originally believed. Looking back, she realized that she had people who loved her and would do anything for her. Then life got even better when she was accepted into Hogwarts. While she wished she was Sorted into Ravenclaw, she ultimately allowed for the Sorting Hat to put her into Slytherin, in order to please her family. She never believed in the Pureblood society, even as a child. Her mother helped in certain ways of that area.

Rebekka had come from a small Pureblood family, but the Prince family accepted the arrange-marriage because of the potential profit involved... and also to help keep the bloodlines pure. While Eileen's mother didn't love Cornelius, she did love her children, especially when it came to her.

But things changed when her final year of Hogwarts arrived. Her father had been planning a marriage arrangement for years, to marry her off to Abraxas Malfoy once she had become of age and completed her school. It was only by her mother's love that saved her, including her sister.

The years she spent on the run with Helena were exhausting. Even though the arrangement fell apart, she knew that her father would force her to marry someone else if he ever found her. But somewhere along the way, during her time in hiding in Spain, she met a Muggle by the name of Tobias Snape. Back then he wasn't the drunk, abusive man he was now. He was more gentleman-like, even a little handsome.

Desperate, Eileen married Tobias in a very small ceremony at a local church in Spinner's End, all in order to keep herself concealed from her father. Officially married to a Muggle, Eileen knew that this would protect her. She even took an extra precaution to make herself barren.

At first, it was a relief for a while. She was no longer on the run, allowing for her to have a chance to settle down and visit her sister from time to time. In fact, her relationship with Tobias strengthened over the first few years in their marriage. That was until the day she told him about her kind. And his reaction was the complete opposite of what she was hoping for. While Muggles were unpredictable to learning some of these things, there had been ones who responded positively. She had hoped that Tobias was one of those people. But she was wrong.

He didn't take the reveal well. At first it was the drinking and cursing, a way for him to cope with it all. But the moment that Severus entered their lives after that terrible night, he had turned abusive in his drunken states. She was able to withstand his violent nature for a little while, but it became so normal that it didn't faze her anymore, even Severus. She got used to the beatings, the yelling, the smell of alcohol, and his filthy mess. It turned her into a sad woman, who very rarely showed emotion or even smiled. Her eyes looked empty of life and her hair was gray now. She always wore long sleeved clothes to cover the bruises.

A part of Eileen wanted to see her mother one more time, to feel the comfort of her mother's arms around her. But she had cut herself off from her father, and thus her mother in the process. She didn't even know if her mother or father were still alive. It had been years since she last saw them, and she was scared to research the newspapers of their wellbeing.

Her thoughts then drifted to Severus, who was hundreds of miles away at Hogwarts. He was perhaps the only good thing in her entire life at the moment. Such a smart young man, full of potential. But she always worried about him. Ever since he went to Hogwarts, she could tell that he was changing, but not like she had hoped he would. In ways he was becoming like her, except in a bad way. He had this cold presence and rarely took care of himself, mentally or physically.

She remembered when she learned from one of his letters that he had been Sorted into Slytherin. The news saddened her, as she felt responsible. She had told him stories of her past life at Hogwarts, including how she herself was Sorted into Slytherin for her family. Now it seemed like history was repeating itself, and each year he came home, it only added to worry. She could see signs that Slytherin was having a negative impact on him. One time she even found a book about the Dark Arts, but she never confronted him about any of it. Without warning, she just one day stopped caring. She would rarely speak to him, despite how much she missed the conversations they used to have before he went to Hogwarts. They grew apart, and in their isolation from each other... they became miserable and hideous in their own ways.

Suddenly, she heard a loud tapping and was brought out of her thoughts.

Turning to the source of the sound, she saw an owl outside of her window. Knowing that the letter in the owl's beak was from Severus, she got up from her chair and went to the window, opening it up to let the owl in. She left the warm morning air against her face as the owl flew in and landed on a small desk right next to her, setting the letter down. After feeding it some treats, the owl flapped its wings and flew back out the window, disappearing into the distance.

Once closing the window, Eileen turned her attention to the letter and picked it up, sitting back down into her chair. Breaking the Hogwarts seal, she unfolded it, recognizing Severus's handwriting, and began to read.

/

Dear Mother,

I apologize for how long it's been since I last wrote. I know you must have a lot of questions concerning my grades and how life has been at Hogwarts. And while we're on the subject, my grades are better than good. I'm currently almost done with my O.W.L.s.

But, Mother, I must confess something. Something I hope you don't get angry at me for. I'm already regretting being Sorted into Slytherin. I think it was a big mistake of the Sorting Hat to put me into this House. I know now that the Hat will put anyone into a House that they wish to be in. I just feel so alone here. More so than usual.

I would ask how you are doing, but I think we both know the answer to that. When I get back for the summer, I really need to talk to you about Father. One that it is overdue.  I promise that there will be new changes going on.

I think you may have already known, but I've been studying about the Dark Arts for a long while. But I'm not anymore. I'm not even friends with anyone inside Slytherin either. The House has become something I now hate. Something I desperately need to get away from. In fact, the more I think about it, I feel I need to get away from all of this. Not just Slytherin, but Hogwarts as well. I just feel like I don't belong here. Maybe I never have.

Sadly, this isn't the main reason why I wrote.

I really need to talk to you about something else. I wanted to let you know ahead of time, before I came home. When Father is not in the house, I need to speak with you about my childhood. I've been having these 'dreams'. Or visions. I don't know what they are. But they have been haunting me in my sleep for the past week now. I can't explain everything through this letter, but the dreams involve a man and a woman known as William and Michelle. Including a mysterious little boy.

Mother, please! I need you to be honest with me when I arrive back home. There is no way these dreams are made up. I believe that you know something about them. I promise when I get back, I will explain everything to you. All I ask from you is the truth.

I need to know.

I know I haven't said this in so long, but...

I love you, Mother.

Severus,

/

Tears slowly crawled down Eileen's cheeks as she finished reading the letter. It fell from her hands and landed on the floor, without making a sound. She continued to sit there, staring into space as the tears fell from her chin and onto her lap. She hadn't cried in so long that it actually hurt her eyes, but she couldn't feel the burn.

She hadn't heard her little boy say he loved her in so long. The letters he wrote were always short and he didn't write as much as he used to. If she was lucky, she would get three or four a year. He used to write four or five times a month. Bringing her hands to her face, she sobbed and finally broke free of her none-emotional state. For the first time in so many years, she felt something inside her light up. She felt happy to know that Severus was now seeing the errors in Slytherin. Although she didn't necessarily agree with him about Hogwarts, she was still so happy to see him realize the one thing that she saw in that dreadful house. Just from reading the letter did she feel the emotion from the words. She knew he meant every single one of them.

But then she remembered one little detail of the letter that brought her out of this semi-happy moment.

"...the dreams involve a man and a woman known as William and Michelle. Including a mysterious little boy."

Gasping, she nearly jumped out of her chair, grabbing the letter as she re-read it a few times over. Her eyes widened when she realized that her eyes weren't deceiving her. The names William and Michelle echoed through her mind. Making her fall back onto the chair, while the letter fell back to the floor. She felt shocked, with fear and worry rushing through her. She hadn't heard those names in so long. They felt like ghosts to her, coming back from the grave to haunt her. The room suddenly had an eerie atmosphere.

How does he remember? she asked herself, breathing heavily as she struggled to calm herself down. I made sure those memories were gone. How could he possibly remember?

Hidden secrets of the past had now come back to her. To Severus. The whole story flashed before her eyes as she remembered. New tears appeared in her eyes. But they weren't tears of happiness. They were tears of fear. Fear of what this all meant.

Does he know? her mind raced with questions, while her heart pounded with each beat. Does he remember everything? What will he think of me if he knows the truth?

Managing to calm herself, she reached down and picked up the letter again, staring at the words.

After a while, she began to debate with herself whether or not to tell him the truth. She remembered the promise she made and she wasn't going to break it. But that promise involved Severus as well, one that he deserved to know the truth to. She feared that by exposing the truth to him would bring the wrong ears into the mix. But none of that mattered now. If Severus knew something, he would most definitely seek out help from someone else, beginning a trail that would bring to life her worst fears. No, she had to make sure he knew the truth before he came back home, to lessen the chance of him telling others about these dreams that he has been having. But the question of how she would tell him wandered her mind. She knew she couldn't write it down on a letter. She couldn't find it within herself to write it down, let alone do it before school was officially over for the summer. She needed to make sure it came in a way that told him everything, while also making sure that no one else would know.

Her eyes widened to an idea.

He needs to 'see' it all for himself.

Right then and there, Eileen knew exactly what she needed to do. But he wouldn't be hearing the truth from her or in the form of words on a piece of paper. He would be experiencing it through memories.

Her memories.

Standing up from the chair, she went to the closet and opened the door. Searching through the small room, she found a small box, hidden in corner of old clothes piled on top of it. Blowing the dust off of the top, she sat it on the bed and unlocked it. Opening it, she reached in and took out a wand.

Studying it over, she realized that it had been years since she last used it. A part of her worried if she would mess up on what she was about to do. It's been known that wizards who didn't use magic in a certain matter of years made mistakes with the simplest of spells or charms.

Reaching back into the box, she took out a couple small potion bottles and prepared them on the bed.

Sighing to herself, she walked to the bathroom and closed the door. Looking into the mirror, she stared into her own eyes and spoke.

A little while later, she reappeared and went back to the bed, preparing one of the potion bottles in her hand. Bringing the other hand up, with the tip of the wand next to her left temple, she slowly began to do a Memory Extraction Spell on herself. Taking out the first few memories she needed, she placed them inside a potion and repeated the process again for the others. When it was all side and done, she had six different potion bottles ready. Laying her wand down on the bed, she began placing the potion bottles into a large envelope.

She then turned to a small desk and walked towards it, pulling the chair up right next to it. Preparing a small sheet of paper and a pen, she wrote a letter and went back to the bed, placing the letter inside the envelope. Once sealing it, she picked up her wand and studied it over again.

Memories of when she first bought the wand from Ollivander's shop came back to her. She remembered smiling when she first held it. How she knew that it was the perfect match for her. A part of her wondered why she locked it away, when there was so much she could do with it. She wanted to hit herself for turning her back on her heritage, on who she truly was. How could she have become so vulnerable? To allow a pathetic man who ruled over her life and abused her, for just being who she was.

Setting her wand back into the box, she put it in the closet again and got dressed in the best clothes she could find, deciding that she needed to Owl post the letter to Severus right away.

In order for him see the memories, he needed a Pensieve, which she didn't have. Nor anyone else that she could think of. She knew that Hogwarts would. Or at least in terms of Dumbledore. The letter already instructed Severus to look into the memories before school ended and that Dumbledore would have the necessary acquirements. She also made it very clear that only he was to see them.

Grabbing the envelope and the car keys, Eileen walked out of the bedroom and out of the house, driving to the secret location of the Owl Postal Office in Chokeworth. She paid in full, wanting to make sure it arrived by tomorrow.

As she began the trip home, she stopped to grab some groceries from the store, hoping to avoid Tobias's wrath for taking the car without his permission. While he never drove when he was drunk, which he was always drunk, he made sure that no one else got to use the car without his permission.

Once pulling into the driveway and walking inside with the groceries, her heart stopped as she heard Tobias's voice in the living room.

"EILEEN!" he screamed. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

Ignoring him, she closed the door and went straight for the kitchen, setting the bags down. As she sorted out the food and beer, she heard him stumble into the kitchen, smelling his God-awful stench.

"I said... where have you... been?" he struggled to keep his words straight.

Sighing to herself, Eileen turned around and faced him.

"I went to get groceries, I thought we needed to restock."

Tobias glared at her and snorted.

"I don't believe you!" he took a drink of what was left of his beer bottle and then threw it against the wall, making Eileen flinch. "You've been out with... those other demons, haven't... you! Using the... car... behind my back and... hanging around with those... devils!."

Tobias reached out towards her, only to meet her hands pushing him away. He stumbled backwards, shocked and confused. She hadn't fought back in years.

"Leave me alone!" Eileen screamed and ran out of the kitchen, reaching the stairs. However, the moment she started climbing, she felt two hands grab her by the feet and force her to land on her stomach of the stairs. A rush of pain went throughout her body, especially with her ribcage. Looking back, she saw Tobias unhooking his belt with one of his hands, while the other held her ankles. She saw pure anger in his eyes and expression. She had driven him to his edge and sent him over, not in control of his drunken state. He was in autopilot mode.

With all the strength she could muster, she got one of her ankles free and turned herself over, bringing her knee to her chest and then letting it free, kicking Tobias in the chest with as much force as she could. Without looking back or waiting to see him hit the floor, she ran upstairs and into the bedroom, closing the door and locking it. She could hear Tobias climbing the stairs as she began to think, wondering what she could use to defend herself.

Just as Tobias was slamming his fists against the door, Eileen suddenly remembered her wand and went for the closet, opening it. Reaching for the box, she then heard the door finally give as Tobias kicked it open and hit the side of the wall, startling her. Just as she got the box open and got ahold of her wand, she felt a hand grab the side of her shoulder and throw her backwards on the ground. Looking up, she saw Tobias standing over her, with his belt in his hands.

Trying in vain to use the Stupify spell on him, he kicked her wand out of her hand and immediately started whipping her. She tried to cover herself with her arms and legs, but each hit had a tremendous force that made her body shake violently. Soon, she couldn't feel the pain anymore. All she saw was blood on the carpet and distant shouting. Then she felt something in the distance, a tunnel of light coming towards her. It felt so peaceful and beautiful. She wanted to go towards it and leave this world behind. But as she felt herself going, only one sentence left her lips, in a tiny whisper.

"Severus..."

She eyes frozen and stared off into distance, not even reacting to the repeated hits of the belt.

/

Severus was in Professor Slughorn's office for his final night of detention. He was helping the Professor arrange the potion ingredients in the right cabinets that they were supposed to go in. The two kept silent for a while. But it was finally Slughorn who finally gave in.

"So, my boy, have you decided what you want to be in life, after you graduate from Hogwarts?"

Severus climbed off the ladder and picked up a few more potion ingredients, reading the names.

"I've been giving the thought of becoming a Potions Master for a long while now, sir" he went back to the ladder. "Although, I hear the Ministry is looking for graduates to hire for some of the other departments that involve Potions. Maybe even the Department of Mysteries."

Slughorn nodded, satisfied.

"I'm surprised you didn't put the Defense of the Dart Arts on there. Or anything involving that subject."

Severus paused as he put the potion ingredients away, thinking to himself.

He knew that the Professor would have brought the subject up eventually. It was no secret that he had a fascination with the Dart Arts and showed great interest in the Death Eaters campaign. A lot of the teachers and professors of the school held a bit resentment towards anyone in Slytherin. They gave good grades, scores and even congratulated when they needed to. But they always looked down at Slytherin as the house of potential Death Eaters. Especially him. There was a reason why Slughorn never invited him to his group parties. Although he never really cared. But when it came to the other Houses, none of them gave Slytherin a time of the day to say something nice or hang out with them. Which, to be fair, Severus didn't really blame them. But the one thing that always angered him was how James Potter and the Marauders got away with their little pranks on him. He didn't even call their stunts pranks. He saw it as flat-out bullying. Looking back now, Severus knew that he wasn't completely the victim or the innocent one. He often provoked and annoyed them into unleashing their tricks on him. But what escaped his understanding was how Dumbledore found their pranks to be 'harmless acts of young men'. They maybe young, but their pranks resulted in himself and others into being sent to the hospital. And they enjoyed his misery above all.

Shaking his head, Severus climbed down the ladder and replied, "To be honest, sir. I think I've had enough of the Dart Arts for one entire lifetime. Including the entire House of Slytherin."

Slughorn raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Really? Does any of this have to do what happened to you a few days ago?"

Pausing, Severus meet the Professor's eyes and the two stared at each other for a few long seconds, letting the moment sink in for both of them. He knew that the Potions Teacher was trying to get any information out of him. Most likely on the orders of Dumbledore.

Looking to change the subject, Severus eyed the desk behind Slughorn and noticed something that caught his eye. Near the edge of the wooden desk, there were application forms of some schools that were not known to him.

"Um, sir," he met Slughorn's eyes again. "I hope you don't mind, but I was wondering what those forms behind you are for."

Narrowing his eyes in question, he turned around and chuckled.

"Oh, those are just student application forms for anyone who wants to try out Summer School at any of the other Wizarding schools that are overseas. There is one in France, two more in Italy, and another in America, all of which are not as big as Hogwarts or the other two main Wizarding schools. I tried getting some more for other parts of Europe, but then I thought it wasn't exactly a good time to go anywhere in the Soviet Union territory at the moment. I just recently got permission from Dumbledore to start this. I also have forms for transfers as well."

Severus walked right next to him and looked at the forms. The one in France was called the Paris Wizarding Private School, and the ones in Italy were the Rome and Florence Wizarding Institutions. But it was the next one that immediately caught his attention.

The North America, Salem Wizarding Academy.

Salem

Severus's eyes widened as he remembered the dream once again, spiking his interest.

"Are you considering on trying out one of them for the summer?" Slughorn asked.

Blinking, Severus pushed the thought to the side and replied, "I'm not sure. The only problem is that I don't have any money or the right supplies."

"Oh, no worries, my boy!" the Professor clapped him on the shoulder. "I've talked with Dumbledore and we've agreed that Hogwarts would pay for first timers. We'll arrange for transportation and the right acquirements needed. The whole thing is only for a month and a half, so you'll be back in time to get your supplies for Hogwarts before September 1st. But I must warn you that you must have parents' permission, only one is needed. The offer ends June 30th."

"In that case, I'll think about it," Severus picked up two of the forms, one for the Salem Academy and the other for the Rome Institution, folding and putting them into the pockets of his robes. To be honest, he wasn't really interested in going to either one of these countries, although he has been curious about what life is like for wizards in the United States, but he couldn't ignore the coincidence of the name Salem appearing in his dream and learning that it was an actual place in the US.

But another question entered his mind as well: 'Could any one of these schools be a chance at a new life?'

Severus scoffed at the idea in his head. As mush as he wanted to, he couldn't leave Hogwarts or Britain behind. Not without his mother anyway, who refused to even leave Chokeworth, except when it came time for Severus to get his school supplies from Diagon Alley.

"Ahem," came a voice from across the classroom.

Both Severus and Slughorn turned to find Dumbledore in the front entrance, his hands folded behind him.

"Ah, Professor Dumbledore!" Slughorn exclaimed. "To what do we owe the honor?"

The Headmaster nodded and said, "I hope you don't mind if I borrow Severus for a moment. I need to speak with him in my office."

"Of course, Headmaster!" Slughorn nodded and turned to Severus. "I think this ends your detention time, Mr. Snape. You're dismissed."

Severus nodded to the Professor and replied, "Thank you for the applications, Professor. I'll definitely give it some thought."

"You're most welcome, my boy!"

Severus followed Dumbledore up to his office and entered with him. Once they were alone, the two took their seats. Even though he couldn't read the Headmaster's expression, Severus knew that something was wrong. He could feel it somehow.

"Severus," Dumbledore began. "I'm sorry to say this, especially at a time when school is almost over, but..." He looked into his eyes. "I just received word from the Auror Department of the Ministry of Magic that your mother and father were discovered dead in your family home. Their bodies were found a few hours ago by local police, which we thankfully managed to take over the investigation with the help of Prime Minister-"

Severus felt his heart and breathing stop. He suddenly felt disconnected from his body as he heard the words, slowly letting the realization sink in as he felt the tears coming. He brought up his Occlumency walls and kept his emotions at bay, fighting to stay in control. He could no longer hear Dumbledore's words as he became less aware of his surroundings.