Ch. 1 - Positivity

'Life is beautiful.'

I always start my day with that thought. Why? Because that allows me to seek the best in every situation.

For example, your bus or train is 10 minutes late? At least it isn't 30 minutes late.

Your wallet was stolen, you don't have any money to get home, and you are 88 km away from your city? At least your legs are still working. Just consider that a leg's day!

Did the Discord's chat get leaked? Bob was way more unhinged, so you probably won't get executed, at least not immediately.

Everybody should try seeking the positive aspects of life. It doesn't just help with stress but also frees you from unnecessary thoughts—like the exams tomorrow, the iron I forgot to turn off, and the dog rushing straight at me.

*Woof* *Woof*

But before that, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Gaylord Williams, not your ordinary Russian.

What makes me unordinary?

MY NAME! I'm Russian, and my name isn't even written in Cyrillic.

And the fact that from the youngest days of my life, I have always believed in karma. And so I tried to help people in any way possible. Helping the elderly cross the street, helping lost children find their parents, and giving directions to foreigners in perfect English, after all, with a name like that, English must be my forte.

"That way go you, left turn you after one and one street passed away."

I said with a friendly smile, pointing where the bank was to an elderly lady with a huge guitar case on her back. She looked at me and, with a light smile, nodded softly and went to her destination.

Later that day, I heard that the bank was robbed. 'I hope she's okay... She carried that huge thing on her back, so she must be quite strong... I'm sure she will be fine.'

Anyway, why am I so set on making good for the world, or more precisely, its population?

I hope to get reincarnated!

I am sure that's possible; why? Otherwise, my whole life would end up being pointless, and my positive thinking is telling me that I can't consider such a thing as an option.

So, assuming that reincarnation is possible, how do I raise my chance of being reincarnated and my standard of living in my next life? 

One thing is certain: they won't accept cash, so it all must come down to how you act during your life. Let's use a simple logic. Good will be repaid with good, and evil will get blown to smithereens.

*Chomp*

"Aaaarrrrgggghhhh."

I cried out loud as the dog bit into my leg. Looking down, I saw just what kind of creature would attack somebody without any reason.

'Chihuahua?! Why is a bite of Chihuahua hurting so much??' The pain made my eyes teary, and as I was about to take action, I saw her. Who, you ask? I HAVE NO IDEA; THE PAIN IS SIMPLY UNBEARABLE!

"Princess! Come back!"

I heard a girl, probably close to my age, scream at the top of her lungs. At that moment, I had more important things to think about and places to be, like a hospital. So I quickly started trying to get rid of the piranha, which was latched to my leg, dangling, yet its bite force increased by seconds.

My hands weren't enough to lessen the bite force of that bastard, so I changed my strategy.

Rising my bitten leg behind me, getting ready for the strongest kick I have ever done, I heard.

"Wait-NO! What the hell are you doing?" The desperate cries were getting closer to me.

"SIUUUUU!" I released my leg with full force, yet the dog prevailed through. 'Reload and repeat.'

The sixth rapid shot was able to free me from this abomination. With scraps of my pants' sleeve on its face and some of my blood on its teeth, the princess got launched like an angry bird straight onto the running girl. The force was not enough to make her go back from where she came, but enough to trip her over.

"What the fuck is wrong with your dog?!" I started the offense; after all, attack is the best defense.

"Excuse me??? How dare you treat my cute little princess like that? She shot back while still lying on the ground.

"Cute little princess? You mean that Gremlin with the bite force of a piranha?" I asked, dumbfounded. What the hell is wrong with people's naming senses? My parents named me Gaylord, and then a monstrosity that goes by Princess tries to shred my leg off.

"You! What do you mean, Gremlin?! A Gremlin? This cutie has won three prizes for the cutest dog!" The delusional girl got up and said it with a flaunting smile, holding the 'cute' dog in her arms.

*GRRRRR* The dog snarled at me, some of my blood slowly flowing down its teeth.

"WHAT? Did it eat all the other dogs?"

"You, YOU!" She screamed while pointing at me. "I can't believe there is a brute like you in this world! I'm calling the police; I'm sure that kicking animals like that will get you locked up."

"Ha?" I raised my eyebrow at her. "Do you see this leg? The one with fucking bite marks! If that wasn't self-defense, then nothing is." I pointed at my massacred leg.

She leaned forward, looking at my leg, and after five seconds, she spared a single glance at my angry face, my eyes meeting hers, her face stopped being contorted by anger as she sent me a despicable smirk, and before I registered what was happening, she was already sprinting away.

"What?" I asked no one, looking at a new Usain Bolt in the making. How is it possible for that kind of human to exist? Did I just encounter a young Karen? If so, will she get even worse with age?

'This isn't important right now.' I shook off the unnecessary thoughts and started limping to the police station.

'This madwoman and her 'dog,' consequences must bite them in their asses, I will make sure of that.'

'Luckily, it's just three pedestrian crossings ahead, and my second leg is working. Think positively.'

'The pain... is freaking awful... t-think positively...'

--- --- ---

Even limping, I was already over three-fourths of the way as four minutes passed since the incident. Waiting for the light to turn green, standing on the other side of the last street between me and the police station.

'I hate how this day is going.' Today, I wanted to finally sue my parents for the atrocity of a name they gave me, so I traveled to a bigger city only to find out that the lawyer I wanted to hire got arrested, his name was Bob or something, probably a foreigner. And while going back to the train station, I got robbed...

'At least I'm still alive...' I thought, uncharacteristically lacking positivity.

Finally, the lights turned green, and I started the final stretch. My speed slowed down to the level of the 109-year-old babushka next to me. Halfway in, I heard a loud engine sound. Turning to the side, I saw quite a common plot twist: a speeding truck.

"Is this the end?" I asked, but the usual didn't happen. The truck slowed down and peacefully turned left. The pain lessened a little, the rapid heartbeat I am hearing and feeling must be a sign of adrenaline in my bloodstream.

Finally, I crossed the crosswalk. Happy that bad things had ended, that now it was just a straight path ahead, but before I was able to take another step, I heard a quiet, soft, senile voice from my side.

"Yes, this is the end. No witnesses." Turning to the side, under the grandma's coat, I saw a pistol with a silencer aiming straight at my forehead. Before I was able to link this grandma to the one with a guitar case, my body was already falling to the ground. Blood burst from my head in a weirdly artistic display.

Now, everything has lost its meaning.

My good deeds.

My name.

My injured leg.

Even my positivity.

But before my eyes got closed for eternity, through my mind passed just a simple thought.

'Life is so fucking unfair...' My last thought was accompanied by a single tear from my eye. A tear that was held down for my whole life. From the moment that I understood everything. My name. A joke for my classmates, a joke for anyone who would ever hear it, and a joke for my parents. My whole life, I was nothing but a joke. A controversy my parents wanted to use to get some recognition on the Internet.

And at the end of it, there will be no consequences for them. None.

'That's so pathetic...'

Finally, my body hit the ground. A solitary, warm tear traced a slow path down my cheek, merging with the crimson pool of blood below.

--- Reincarnation Center ---

In a white room, a presence was sitting behind a birch desk, hidden behind a huge pile of papers, books, and files. Anyone would think of him as a miserable slave of his superiors, working till he can't anymore, anyone but his phone on which he was already on level 56,312 in a game in which you must align candies of various kinds in rows or columns of three.

In this room, a human was dropped from a tube connected to the ceiling. Falling on his backside, he winced in pain but was able to get it together quite quickly. He got up and looked around, not seeing anyone in his immediate surroundings, a stressed sigh escaped his lips.

"Delicious!" He heard a loud sound, startling enough for him to jump in place.

Looking at the direction from which the sound was made, he saw somebody slowly leaning from the side of the stack of papers. His white hair, white mustache, and long white beard went well with the white room they were in, and the white suit he was wearing, with black tie and black glasses frame being the only elements of his attire that probably weren't in his favorite color.

"Gaylord Williams, I presume?" The man asked with an authoritative, reliable, and a little bit strict voice while cleaning his glasses.

"What? Gaylord Williams? No, my name is Ethan Hart," the newcomer replied.

After that, a loud "crack" was heard as the left lens in the man's glasses shattered.

1723 words.