Chapter 13 -

I may or may not have doomed myself with this decision. But I have a backup plan. After the incident, Eliam convinced me to move back to the dorm. I hated the toilets in that hotel anyway; there were no bidets.

As I nervously stood in front of the door, I wondered if Eliam was there. Maybe he had a new friend over? There were more than two pairs of shoes in front of the door. Or maybe he just bought two new pairs of shoes and was out for the day or sleeping, which is what I was really hoping for right now. It had only been a day since I was at the library, so it was Saturday night.

I had been out all day, hoping he would be asleep by the time I got home. I basically stayed in the library the whole day, promising Eliam I'd come home for Saturday night. I guess I hadn't thought it through well enough. He was alone, and he wasn't on good terms with Jaehwa.

Stupid move, but it's not like I'm limited by time, so I can just try another plan. It was my job to solve Jaehwa's and Eliam's so-called 'beef.' I'm sorry, but I don't have any other words to describe it. Jaehwa certainly doesn't want to hate Eliam; it's just that Eliam despises him and basically everyone else he interacts with.

I could just make Eliam despise me too, but that's a last-resort option. There are better ways for now. I'll keep myself busy, stay in my room or outside, and avoid talking at school. That way, Eliam wouldn't feel as lonely, and I'd still get to keep my job as a side character. I'll need to put more effort into getting the two of them to get along, because Eliam is not allowing it at all.

Then I realized something: the perfect plan. The school trip in the next two weeks. It's absolutely perfect. It was a seniors trip thing, so the highschool grades of 11 and 12, were going. I was in the younger grade with Jaehwa and Daehyun, and Eliam was in the older grade. 

There were different cabins for four occupants each and even a test of courage that requires you and a partner to venture to a 'scary' and 'terrifying' location to test your courage. Just as the name suggests. I wasn't really planning on going, that's why I didn't want to bring it up, but seeing an opportunity for the main characters to get closer, I needed to come to help the plot progress. 

If I play the right cards, I can convince Eliam to become cabin mates with Jaehwa and Daehyun, and since the test of courage partners are randomly selected to go to the dark forest together, I already know it's gonna land on Eliam and Daehyun, so I don't need to worry about that, and that's also when Eliam and Daehyun start to become closer, eventually having sex that night while Jaehwa and some random dude were sleeping. Okay!

I confidently opened the door with a positive attitude. I was going to write all of this down. I didn't notice anyone, so Eliam must be sleeping by now. Perfect.

I crashed onto my bed, setting up a table in front, turning on the AC, and grabbing a cup of soda. I pulled out my pink notebook, which had been hiding in my bag. I write all my ideas in it since I can never remember new ideas or plans for more than 2 minutes.

I began writing, a grin on my face. I wrote a scenario of how things would go if everything went according to plan.

 I'd stay in Cab2. E is staying in Cab3,. From my memory, Cab3 is where the unholiest things happened between the main characters, since all 3 of them were in that cabin(I feel bad for that one guy who wasn't a part of this). This is also my chance to make a few new friends. Finally, this is where J and E will return to their original relationship, and D will start falling for E instantly. Then, once E falls for them, I can keep my good friendship with E! No stress.

Note: J is Jaehwa, E is Eliam, D is Daehyun, and Cab refers to one of the cabins.

I opened my laptop, looked up the trip location, and began doodling the layout. A map would be useful anyway. I later fell asleep that night, drawing random places after finishing the map, purely because I had a hard time falling asleep. My head was face-first in the notebook when I dozed off quietly.

In the morning, when I woke up from my alarm, my notebook, which I clearly remembered sleeping on, was on the bedside table, and I was tucked into my bed comfortably. Strange. Did someone touch it? God, if Eliam read that! Why the hell did I not secure it?!

I calmed myself down. He probably didn't read it. Eliam doesn't like reading notebooks, especially not a stupid pink one. Plus, I made sure to use initials and code words just in case something like this happened. Eliam wouldn't understand. Though… He put in the effort to tuck me in bed. How nice of him. But you know me… Always taking nice things for granted. Doesn't matter! I have a goal now, which gives me some hope.

I guess for the next two weeks, I should attend school quietly, study, just say hello or something to Eliam every day, and make small talk for now. We'll be better friends after the trip when Eliam realizes his feelings for the two male leads. Easy enough.

I stepped out of my room, starving after skipping multiple meals since last night, yawning and stretching. I rubbed my eyes as I walked, so I got a real shock when I stumbled into Eliam, waking me up from my daydreams.

I yelped, nearly collapsing onto him, but I stabilized myself clumsily. I had planned to apologize right after, but Eliam swiftly and suddenly held onto me tightly, embracing me even though I wasn't going to fall.

"Are you okay?"

"Woah! Hey, I'm not gonna— Nevermind. Good morning to you too, I guess... Could you let me go?"

"Not until you answer my question." He replied. I couldn't escape him; he was way stronger than me, so I had no choice.

"Fine." I sighed, giving up slowly.

"Why did you leave without me knowing, Leon?"

"What..? Uhm. Because I'm studying."

"You can just study here… Why do you need to go all the way to that library? I'll buy any book you want." Eliam insisted, bringing me even closer, close enough that he put his chin on my shoulder, which made me nervous to look in his direction.

"N-no… it's fine."

"Next time… Tell me when and where you're going."

"Huh? Why?" I asked, wondering why he was so worried over something as trivial as that.

"Because I need you to be safe. I don't trust the people around you."

"And if I don't do that?"

"Then I'll make sure you'll never leave me, my Leon." He explained happily, planting a loving kiss on my cheek as he let go of me, leaving me red in surprise as he prepared breakfast for the two of us.

He would never let me leave? What the hell did that mean? Is he possessive over close friends? Some people are like that, I assume. Maybe he has more close friends that he treats the same way, so this is normal.

I have this lingering thought that maybe he treats me specially. But I have too many occurrences where I think a man treats me in a special way compared to everyone else, only to later find out that he just is like that to many other people. It's disappointing, but Sam is a perfect example of that. Sigh. I don't even know why I would feel let down over that. It's not like I have fallen in love with anyone anyway, as I've said previously, but whatever.

These two weeks are going to be harder now. Maybe I should've stayed in my room. Now Eliam is monitoring me for an unknown reason. How do I always manage to get myself into a mess?! I can't wait for the trip to come. 

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Eliam just couldn't help it. He was becoming obsessed at this rate. After he claimed Leon completely that night, pretending to be drunk, he couldn't help but both lust for him and love him at the same time.

However, ever since then, Leon kept escaping from his grasp, even more so these days. It frustrated Eliam, but he would never give up on him. Not right now, when he's already come this far.

He knew damn well what he did and what he was doing.

Last night, he had known that Leon had come back home late. Even later than he had expected, which made him uneasy. It was like letting your valuable possession get borrowed for an unwanted amount of time, and he didn't want that to happen again. He needed to know what Leon was up to, what he was so focused on. What could possibly make Leon so busy that he pushed Eliam away? It was exasperating not knowing anything about the guy he wanted to love so dearly.

Eliam quietly waited until Leon fell asleep, standing outside his room, carefully listening to every move. Leon kept blabbering about the most unusual things that were weird out of context, even giving an entire speech about how complicated men were, despite being a guy himself. Eliam chuckled quietly, hearing Leon write so aggressively in the notebook, like he couldn't contain his excitement about what he wanted to write.

"Hah… Cute." Eliam whispered.

Eliam realized that this was why he had quickly fallen for him, just because there was no mystery behind his personality. If there was, then he's a damn good actor, being so naive and adorable about every occurrence, even when alone in his room at midnight. Eliam really enjoyed his company, which was the first time he felt that way towards anyone.

What he needed to worry about though, was his safety. Jaehwa, and even Daehyun now, had appeared to get closer to him. Eliam didn't like that at all. If he could, he would let no one except himself interact with Leon. Eliam saw the other men coming after him as bugs—annoying, pesky bugs that would just hurt his Leon.

Was Jaehwa seeing him? Forcing him to do things? Like what Jaehwa did to Eliam? He felt anxious about Leon. The more he went away from Eliam's grasp, the more likely Leon would get hurt by them. Eliam wouldn't ever allow that.

He waited a couple more hours until he heard Leon drop his head on the table from exhaustion. Eliam peeked over, assured that Leon was indeed asleep, and sighed softly as he slept.

Eliam approached closer.

"Heh… You didn't even fall asleep properly. How can I let you go around looking like that? You would attract too many… it's not safe." Eliam spoke softly, caressing his hand on Leon's soft cheek.

Eliam carried Leon to the bed, setting him gently on top and covering him with a blanket. Eliam thought that Leon and his past self were similar, both in personality and, in some ways, looks too. Naive, innocent, cheerful, and vulnerable to others. But the difference was that Eliam would now be the one to defend him—to be the guardian that Eliam himself never had.

He had originally thought of Leon as someone on top of him, but Eliam noticed that Leon was in an even more vulnerable state than he was, so Eliam was filled with the drive to be the one on top instead. He couldn't allow Leon to be used by men he wasn't close to, like what had happened to Eliam.

Eliam had undergone a transformation that changed him both physically and mentally, and as long as Leon existed in this horrible world, Eliam was worried that the same would happen to him. Leon had strengthened his mental state and had given him something to hope for—to protect. If Eliam couldn't protect himself in the past, he would surely protect Leon now.

He looked at the table. A pink notebook? Now that I think about it, Leon has been buying a bunch of pink stuff. Eliam still safely kept the pink butterfly clip in his possessions, not to be touched by others.

Eliam was tempted to look through it, but he thought that maybe he should respect Leon's privacy for now. He wasn't an inch like his old self when he had his purple notebook, so Eliam brushed it off. He just looked forward to talking to Leon the next day.

Eliam leaned closer, kissing Leon on the lips, lifting his chin to close the distance between them and deepening the contact. He pulled away slowly after a while, as if hesitating to stop the kiss.

"I'll keep waiting until you find out how much I love you... Goodnight, my Leon."

He looked over at the pink notebook again.