Chapter 18 -

Okay, everything was painful physically. Maybe I should've just ran away like I always did, because I was beginning to regret ever making contact with this guy.

Jaehwa's muscular arm was wrapped around my chest, constricting my movement as we both lay in bed, the morning sun shining a yellow glow through the room. Familiar. Something like this happened when I was with Eliam.

If it was confirmed to me that they truly cared about me, then I'll be honest, that's a dream come true. To have several men after me.. It's weird, but it gives some sort of happy feeling.. I'm not sure what to call it.

But they all just think of me as a friend, or even a stepping stone, it doesn't matter. I'm probably getting that feeling because I've always been a hopeless romantic with no one. After this, Jaehwa is sure going to hate me for being so bad in bed, which will make him finally go back to Eliam. Then after Daehyun joins, I could watch the story finish and go back to my world at last. 

Maybe I shouldn't be so worried about the plot changing drastically. Maybe I'm just way too boring of a person to change it anyway, and all that means I don't have to be worried about being stuck here.

I smiled disappointingly, a bittersweet feeling taking over me as I thought deeper.

I slowly crawled out of his arms, and somehow I didn't wake Jaehwa up. Maybe because he was snoring too loud, which is where the similarities between waking up with Eliam and waking up with Jaehwa end, because Eliam doesn't snore, hah.

As I ate the morning breakfast in the camp cafeteria, I was lost in daydream. Deep down, I knew that I really did love the attention I was getting! Damn it, I'll admit it, I wanted more. I wanted to stay here forever if it meant that Eliam, or even any of the main characters, would be with me. But that's not how things should go unfortunately, and I'm becoming more delusional by the second. 

One of the only things saving me from falling into delusions are my earphones, though I don't bring them up often. It just reminds me that I belong somewhere else. And I should probably finish my food before the bus leaves for our next destination.

I was wandering in the flower fields alone, we had some free time before we left for another place. The field went down the mountains, stopping at a steep cliff overlooking the rest of the mountainous landscape. I wondered what this location would look like in my world. Would it all be burned down? Would it be just as beautiful as what my eyes were seeing right now?

There was a cottage further up the hill. How nice it would be to live there without a care in the world. 

"You're alone again." Someone said, towering beside me as I sat on the grass.

Daehyun sat beside me, his usual tidy hair now getting messed up in the strong breeze.

"Duh. Does it look like I'm not? Go with your girlfriend."

"Still a stubborn little hedgehog, huh?" He chuckled, patting my head. "About that girlfriend of mine.." 

"What about your pretty girlfriend? Someone else caught you railing her in public?" I added, not sure why I was being like this.

Daehyun smiled as he heard my response.

"We broke up." He said flatly, like this happened to him daily.

I sat straight up a bit too quickly. I think I overreacted.

"What. ??" I asked concerningly, before calming down. This was good. His girlfriend probably sensed that Daehyun was becoming way too fruity, and the next step is to fall for Eliam finally. "Well.. how did that happen?"

"Because of a certain someone." He grinned at me, his handsome face brightening in the sunlight. "I was the one to break off."

My heart skipped just a few beats. I don't like attractive people, because man.

"Right, that certain someone must be some over the moon pretty person, for you to break up with your already beautiful girl. Not that I care much.." I sighed.

I thought about it deeper. I was sure that certain someone was Eliam. Lately, I've been seeing the two of them less and less. Could they be secretly bonding with each other when no one was looking? 

I smiled at that thought. Good for them. Good for the 3 of them. They surely will end up with each other at this rate. And I wasn't useless in that journey, Okay? I made the plot more light hearted and less red-flaggy for everyone involved. Maybe I was sent here for that reason. Well I guess I could take it as a compliment from god. 

"So you aren't curious who it is?" He asked me.

"Not really, but you better get whoever it is. Make them fall for you! Make their heart feel like— woah!" I sputtered before intentionally falling on the grass.

Daehyun caught me in his arms, even though I purposely made myself trip.

"Haha, careful then." He said, setting me down on the grass. "I'll be sure to take your advice, then."

"Whatever." I said, pouting as I crossed my arms laying down.

"Well, she asked me for one last chance, if it doesn't go well, I'm dumping her for good." He said, laying down on the grass close next to me, his hands behind his head.

"Wow, treating them like plastic bags? Or something? Frick, I forgot the word for it.. Disposable! Yes. Disposable, that's the word." I stammered.

"Sometimes, you're just too unpredictable." He chuckled, turning his head to look me in the eye.

"Really? That's dumb." I said, adjusting my sleeves that now smelled like fresh plants. "Anyway, what do you mean by one last chance?"

"Just a date. I'm seeing her again tomorrow, before we go back home. Told her she better impress me." Daehyun stated.

"Oh.. right…" I said, not knowing what to say.

Hm. Daehyun will probably reject her. Reject her harshly. Or, he would accept her. I shouldn't be concerned by this, but why do I feel like something will go wrong?

Was I worried about the girl in question? I don't like it when they get treated like they aren't worth something. Or was I worried that Daehyun would accept her? Right, cause Daehyun needs to fall for Eliam. He probably has already, seeing as he wanted to break off from his girlfriend, but I need to be certain that will happen.

I exhaled deeply as the sun started setting, our free time was up about now.

"Ugh, I don't want to get back on the bus." I said, getting up lazily, Daehyun making fun of me. I wanted to stay in the beautiful grass for longer.. Time does suck.

As we made our way back to the bus, Daehyun waved goodbye, having to split off to another bus. If he did start falling for a man now, like Eliam, then at least he would hate gays less or something. Though I didn't witness his transformation directly.

As I approached the bus doors, I saw Eliam and Jaehwa together, talking about something. They were sitting together on a bench in front of the buses, Jaehwa's hand on Eliam's thigh.

They were becoming closer, it seemed. I smiled a little, though I felt uncomfortable about something. What? That easily? Jaehwa managed to get closer? Why was I feeling uncomfortable? Don't tell me I'm actually jealous of that. No way in heck, the story is finally coming together, I should be glad.

They aren't noticing me, are they? I guess it's finally time for me to go back to being in the background at last.

I'll admit that if circumstances were different, then I'd want to be married to any of the main characters. But whatever, It's not like I'm gonna cry from this. Just get my ass on the bus seat already, I'm tired.

I stepped in, finding an empty row. I put on my earphones, and sat down, looking at the beautiful sunset in the distance. I was feeling really sleepy now, combined with the comfy seat, it was basically screaming in my brain to take a short nap. The journey was half an hour long anyway. I rested my head on a cat pillow I brought with me, how convenient. 

I closed my eyes, just wanting to go sleep on an actual bed already.

I had a strange dream then.

I was a floating ghost with no body. I saw my bedroom. Not my bedroom in this world, but my actual one that I had lived in for so long. It was all dusty but clear of trash or mess, like no one had lived in it for months. The lights were off, so it was pretty eerie. I quite literally floated out of the building. Oh, I had missed the polluted air so much. The roads were just as busy and traffic as I remembered, and it was the same foggy morning that I used to wake up to everyday. 

I decided to float to my school, cause why not?

As I approached it, a wave of homesickness took over me. The boring white walls, the patchy fields. But there was one thing I was really looking for. My best friends. Do they still remember me here?

I floated down to the ground. Something caught my eye then.

A missing poster. What was this about? I went closer to one of them, and sure enough, it had my face plastered all over it. It had a number to call, with a description of myself below. It was so weird seeing an actual missing poster, made even weirder by the fact it's me. Who did this for me? I wanted to ask. 

Well my question was quickly answered when I saw Sam. It was the Sam I knew, the Sam that was my long time best friend. He was setting up another poster, taping it to the wall nearer to the school building.

I approached him. I wanted to hug him, to talk to him, but I had no body, no mouth to do any of those. All I could do was float around uselessly. He looked much more tired than when I last saw him, like he had so many sleepless nights. But even then, he looked just as attractive in my eyes.

"Leon…" He whispered, taping the last of the corners. "Where are you..?"

I wanted to shout that I was right beside you, that I'm not dead! 

But I couldn't.

Then, to my surprise, he turned, looking at me with a confused look. But I couldn't be seen, right? What?

"Leon..?" Sam said, his eyes widening.

"I'm here!" I shouted, jumping in my seat, people around the bus suddenly turning to me as I jumpscared them. Oh. Just a dream. Whoops. Now people think I'm weirder.

"Hm? You finally woke up, Leon?" Eliam said, his arm wrapped around my waist. Why was he this close to me physically? 

"Were.. you watching me sleep?" I asked Eliam, embarrassed that I suddenly screamed as I woke up.

"Yeah. You kept whispering stuff about flying. It was cute." He beamed, smiling.

"Come on, It's just purely strange." I sighed, pushing him away softly, yawning.

He didn't let go though, instead, he suddenly hugged me even tighter.

"I feel like.. You've been distant. Don't do that to me, Leon. Stay close to me." Eliam spoke, pulling my shirt, revealing a hickey. "Did Jaehwa do this to you?" He questioned, and suddenly I felt nervous.

Damn it, how did that even happen? To have a hickey on me.. That's something I only see in stories for heaven sakes. How embarrassing.

"Uh.. Well.." I stammered, my heart just a beat faster.

"Tell me the truth, Leon. I wanna take care of you. Whatever's bothering you, I'll get rid of it. Just tell me." He said in a serious tone, his eyes staring directly into mine.

"I.. Yeah. It was just a one time thing. So you don't need to worry about Jaehwa." I said, scratching my head.

"Look, I'm not worried about Jaehwa. I'm worried about you. Why are you with him again? Why do you let him hurt you like that?" Eliam interrogated, leaning in even closer, now my heart really racing.

"How did.. You find out?" I asked, brushing off his other questions.

"Walls are thin here.." He replied. "That bastard Jaehwa.." He said, suddenly looking pissed off. 

"Woah woah! He didn't.. Do much. It was me that said I'd do it, okay?"

Frick, why is Eliam all of a sudden hating on Jaehwa again? I should have shut my mouth last night..! No matter how good it felt! 

I did it for Eliam, but I don't know how to explain that to him now.

"Go talk to Jaehwa, okay? He doesn't have anything to do with me anymore, so befriend him again. I should be the one who's worried if Jaehwa is treating you right, not the other way around!" I said, putting a hand on Eliam's shoulder.

"Really then.. Okay. I'll do anything you say, Leon." Eliam sighed, a sad disappointed look in his green eyes. "Next time, I'll make sure to protect you, Mark my words."

"What are you, a Guardian angel?" I smiled, trying to brighten the mood. 

"Or like, that one overprotective boyfriend?-" I said, before realizing how awkward that sounded. "I meant- like.. You know what, nevermind. The weather is really good today, and I am talking about the most normal things and being very normal– Hic!." I spoke before a hiccup came to me.

Eliam surprisingly laughed, just soft enough for me to hear. I looked over to him. It was so refreshing to see him happy. He always looked even more attractive when he was happy. My heart pounded, staring at him like he was the only thing in the world.

Crap, don't get attached, stupid self. 

"Hey, that was so unfunny- Hic!" I gently hit his arm with the back of my hand.

That night was left on a kind of good note.

I lay in my bed. Despite wanting to sleep so badly on the bus just an hour ago, now I can't sleep at all. Why does that even happen? Ugh.. No matter how much I close my eyes. I felt uneasy about something. It was about Daehyun's meeting with his ex tomorrow. Agh, should I really just wait it out and hope that everything will go to plan? 

The girl would probably hurt from the dumping, but that's not my business. I guess I'll just wait it out.