The John of Christians

It was the christening of the christians, the day of john. John was no Jonathan, he was a Jesus. And because of that, he was all-knowing. He knew every math equation, but could only give the answer if the word problem included faith. If it did not, he would refuse to speak upon it.

Kirk sensed his presence one fateful day. He smelled his aura from across the pond. The pond of ponds. Professor Seen looked at the Kirksus and asked, "What are you smeeeling?" 

"I smell faith." Kirk responded. 

"What kind of faith?" Duck T. Sin asked. "In math?"

Then, a booming voice of a young faithful Christian boy replied. "In god!!!"

Then he emerged from the pond avengers CGI style, with floating symbols and magic around him. While Kirk could have sworn they were alone, a full sized orchestra was playing a very Christian theme for the Christian boy.

"Biblically accurate John!" Kirk shouted. 

"Quite so." John said. "I can sense your love for the mathe, and I have love for it as well, but I also love the faith. The faith mathe if you will. I wish to defeat The Devil himself for his hatred of God, and geometry."

Kirk immediately recognized the immense power radiating off of John's body. "You represent alethic modality, meaning any world derived from any formal or logical system within classical logic."

"Correct." John replied bluntly. 

"What happened to Matty Matheson btw?" Sinsaphone asked.

"He died between chapters. A gruesome death sadly." Kirk explained. 

Synapse sheds tears, but he only sheds tears if they are the proper geometric ratio.

The three of them, without words, knew their mission, and began walking to a location unbeknownst to the readers, and even the writers, who are very in love and too insane to keep track of this story. Tee hee.

The only one to truly know is Jake. 

John seriously looks back at Kirk and Sinsyphus and he seriously noticed that they seriously weren't taking this very serious task with the utmost seriousness. He clicked his tongue in disappointment. "You two disappoint me. I shouldn't have let you join me."

Kirk took great offense to this. He has beef with John now and they just met… seriously.

"GRRRR!" Dr. Song growled, extremely upset with John's unwarranted disdain towards the almighty Kirk. Sphinx scowls and steps up: If we're gonna work together, we need to WORK. on WORKSHEETS. GET STARTED.

John rolled his eyes. "You snoze you loze."