Leaving You Behind

"Mi... ka..."

Eren's hoarse whisper barely cut through the quiet of the night, his breath uneven, his body trembling as if something inside him was breaking apart.

The faint moonlight spilled through the wooden window, casting silver streaks over his sweat-slicked skin. Steam rose in thin, ghostly wisps from his bare torso, his muscles tensed in silent agony.

Beneath his tired green eyes, dark Titan marks had begun to form, creeping across his face like the scars of something far more profound than physical pain.

Mikasa sat beside him, her own breath ragged, her arms wrapped around his trembling frame, holding him together when he felt like he was falling apart.

She could feel the rapid hammering of his heart beneath her fingertips, each beat growing more erratic. His entire body felt like it was burning up, yet he shivered violently, a cruel contradiction.

"Ereh... Please, look at me..." she pleaded, her voice breaking. But his vacant eyes remained locked on the window, unfocused, hollow.

In front of them, their children clung to him, their small hands desperately trying to pull him back from whatever abyss he was slipping into.

"Dad... Dad..."

Rin's tiny fingers grasped at his sleeve, tugging with all the strength his little body could muster. But Eren didn't move. He didn't even flinch.

Sae, barely old enough to speak full sentences, pressed a trembling hand against his father's leg. "Papa... wake up..."

Blood began to drip from Eren's nose, a slow trickle that ran down to his lips. A violent cough racked his chest, and fresh crimson stained his mouth. His breathing grew unsteady, uneven, the rise and fall of his chest becoming more labored with each passing second.

Mikasa's world shattered.

"Ereh!! Ereh!!"

She clutched his face, her fingers trembling as she tried to force him to focus on her, on them. Tears ran freely down her cheeks, her entire body shaking with the sheer weight of her desperation. Face pressed against her shoulder.

"Papa... Come on, let's play with the dolls..."

Erika's soft, trembling voice cut through the air like a knife, her tiny hands wrapping around his fingers, squeezing as if her grip alone could tether him to this world. Her big, tear-filled eyes searched his face, waiting for a response, waiting for her father to come back to them.

And then, Eren finally moved.

With a slow, agonizing effort, he turned his head toward the crib, where the smallest of them all, their newborn, wailed into the night. His lips curved into the faintest smile. So tiny... so helpless...

With what little strength remained in his shaking body, he raised a hand—every movement like dragging himself through mud—and placed it gently on Mikasa's head. His fingers threaded weakly through her hair, his touch barely there.

"Hey... Mikasa..."

Her breath hitched. She leaned into his palm, pressing her cheek against his hand, as if willing his warmth to stay, to last just a little longer.

"I'm here, Ereh... I'm right here..."

His vision blurred. His body felt so heavy, yet the unbearable weight pressing on his soul was worse. His lips trembled before he spoke again, voice barely above a whisper.

"If... If I die tonight..."

Mikasa's breath caught in her throat.

"I... I want to die in your arms."

A choked sob ripped from her lips, her entire body shuddering at his words. The kids started crying louder, their small sobs turning into full wails, and Mikasa pressed a trembling hand to her mouth, trying to suppress the sheer agony clawing at her chest.

But Eren... he regretted saying it.

Not because he didn't mean it, but because he never wanted them to hear it. His mind swirled in confusion. Weren't the kids asleep? When did they come here? He thought he was alone with her.

"Papa..."

A fragile voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Erika wiped at her red, puffy eyes, her tiny shoulders shaking. "Papa... Are you... Are you going to leave us?"

Eren swallowed, the lump in his throat almost unbearable. His gaze softened, his heart twisting painfully as he lifted a trembling arm and pulled her close, wrapping her in what little warmth he had left.

He held her tightly, feeling the way her tiny frame shook against him, her tears soaking into his tattered shirt.

"No, sweetie..." he whispered against her hair, voice as weak as his body. "Papa... Papa is just a little sick..."

His weary gaze shifted toward Sae and Rin, his lips curving into a reassuring smile despite the blood staining his mouth.

"Papa just wants to sleep for a while... He'll be fine by morning..."

It was a lie, god, it was a lie.

But it was the only thing he could give them.

Sae, small as he was, sniffled and wiped at his tears with his tiny hands. Then, in the way only a child could, he forced a small, brave nod and gently tugged at Erika and Rin's hands.

"Papa... Rest..." And without another word the kids left the room allowing him to rest and he then looks back at her. And he smiles as she stares at the wooden floor failing to stop her tears.

And then his weak voice touches her ears. "Here… come here. I'll keep you warm, Mika," he whispered, his shaky arms opening wide. His cheeks were pale, but his expression both pained and inviting, with a warmth that seemed to chase the cold away, and a beautiful smile that always shattered her heart.

"Um..." She gave him a shaky nod and slowly let herself melt into his embrace. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close until their bodies were pressed together, her head resting against his shoulder, hands pressing against his chest feeling his abnormal heartbeat.

And she slowly helped him lower his body on the mattress along with hers.

"You tired?" he asked softly, his tired voice laced with tenderness.

She nodded, her lips quivering. "Mm-hmm... Really tired..."

"Then why aren't you asleep by now,?" he murmured, hand slowly patting her hair.

"If... If you promise... To stay with me just for tonight... I will..." She whispered back, her voice low, and he tilted his head, his long breaths warm against the side of her neck.

"I will stay... I promise... So just sleep..."

And she closes her eyes letting herself feel his warmth against her and he just stared outside in the endless void of darkness and light before shutting his eyes.

And she feels his heartbeat slowly come back to normal and a tear leaves her eye as she let's sleep succumb her.