Can only rely on oneself

After she finished speaking, Mother Bai looked behind at the people who were helping her son and felt a tad bit guilty. But when she thought about what kind of life they were living at the moment, she suppressed that guilty conscience. Forgive her, dear heavens, but she was just a normal woman with three children. Although she believed in handing out kindness and the universe would double it back, Mother Bai just couldn't do it at the moment. 

The situation was like this already. If she showed her kindness to others, what would happen to her children? She couldn't be kind to strangers anymore; it would be unkind to her children.