So Done

When Gabe thinks I'm not looking, his shoulders slump, and the weight of his father's health is etched into the lines of his face. His usual confidence feels like a brittle mask and the sight and knowledge of the truth, make my chest ache. 

Gabe's only support is his mother- who is a mess of worries herself and well... me. Or possibly he is being comforted by you know who. Gosh, I feel like an absolute tool for thinking this way but I cannot help it and I do not understand this burning desire inside me to pick up any available furniture- perhaps the remote which is nearest to me and fling it against Gabe's annoying head. With each passing moment, I can feel the storm brewing between Gabe and me a growing distance that neither of us is brave enough to confront head-on is keeping me up a distance but not entirely. 

Seriously? Has she no pride? I mean a guy breaks up with you and blocks you from his phone... why still contact him... and in the manner in which she does too? This stupid girl keeps ringing his phone from different numbers as well as unknown ones. I caught him glancing at his phone in the quiet moments between us between the texts the missed calls his silence and his avoidance of looking at me for even when he touches my eyes and turns away it's as if he's trying to distance himself from whatever looms as the truth between us or over us but I can't ignore it anymore it's like there's a war between us and I'm the only one trying to tear it down... 

We're in his living room, sitting opposite from each other- the Gabe from this timeline would have had me plastered to his side, so this is how I know he is bothered. It's like there's an invisible chasm stretching between us he's staring at his phone that's again his lips set in a firm line, the silence is suffocating me while the movie plays. 

Something rages inside me along with the ache of watching his silent suffering. 

"Why don't you change your number?" I blurt out, the words burning before they leave my mouth. It's a simple question, one I should have asked long ago but I never had the courage. Probably now comes to me in the form of irritation and spilling jealousy with anger. 

The sullen man meets my eyes for the first time, in what feels like an eternity, holding my gaze and the look on his face makes me want to curl into myself. It's the look of a man who has already made up his mind and hasn't found the strength to follow through and it scares me. I almost backed off, thinking I might lose him again in this timeline and to her again but something had been ignited inside me and I could not stop myself. 

"From Cassandra," I follow up with, my voice sharp. "You say you're done, but are you?" I sound so insecure but I tell myself, it's within reason. The cold words hang in the air. 

He opens his eyes and hands wide spreading to his sides. "I've blocked her because you asked me to. I've deleted her number, what more do you want?" He shifts again, his hands holding the sides of his head, as if I am irritating a headache he has. I can hear the thoughts racing through his mind, the anger rising like a tidal wave. "I cannot change my contact just because it would fancy your liking. Everyone I know has this number, should I take it as everyone here on my phone is not as important as you?" 

"I just meant her!" 

"Her is BLOCKED!" He barked out and my body jolts by the suddenness and harshness of it. I've never heard Gabe take this tone before. "And if she calls from another number, so what?" One of his hands goes to his waist while the other flings around while he talks. "It's not that simple where I would completely ignore her just to please you! I have known her for years! I'm fed up with this whining of yours!" The hand that was moving around now pinches his narrow nose, his eyes closed as if he is attempting to calm himself. "If you must know, I am waiting for my mother's call. She's in there with dad, okay?" 

I feel like crap- just as he had intended for me to feel. He might be telling the truth but I feel as if it's not the whole truth. Somewhere he is waiting for 'the love of his life' message as well. The dark thought burrows its way inside me. 

"I'm sick of this Megara." His tone is back to its near regular pitch but he abruptly stands up. "I can't deal with you right now." 

"And I'm also sick of this." My tone is near silent and he runs a hand through his hair, his gray eyes catching mine where I can see his pupils dilate. My phone pings and I flare my nostrils, my gaze going to the phone and then to him again as I fold my arms across my chest, ignoring it. "See, that's how. People call only when it's important. An emergency- if they really need to talk to you." Wait- is that a thing in 2014? 

"Meg-" 

"No, don't Meg me. You were with her when I met you. You would cheat on me the same way." I uttered the words without even knowing what I was going to say. But yes, that was a fear of mine- but not with another woman. I feared Gabe would leave me for her. 

He's at my feet in an instant, on his knees, hands on my thighs. "Meg-" 

"No Gabriel. I feel like I'm sharing you with her and I know this isn't the time to bring this up because of your dad-" 

The doorbell rings interrupting me and I grab my phone that's on the coffee table in front of me. "I think I should go." 

"Meg, hold on," he grabs my hands and pins me down. "Let me get that and I'll be back." I could see the panic in his features. Maybe he thinks it's something to do with his father. Suddenly I feel like an ass for behaving this way and I grimace, nodding my head. 

Walking backward, he slowly turns around when he makes up his mind that I will remain there and goes to answer the door which rings again. 

Since I am a distance from the archway of this room, and to the front door, I do not hear what was said but I did hear Gabe's exclamation of surprise and a female's voice before he steps back and into my line of vision. I can't see who it is yet, but I already know. I feel it in the pit of my stomach- I don't need to see her face to know who it is. 

Cassandra. 

Betrayal fills the room, suffocating me with distrust. 

The way Gabe's posture shifts, the way his whole demeanor changes, it's like he's subconsciously preparing himself to face something he doesn't want to. Then he turns to his right. 

Me. 

I force myself to stand, even though my legs feel like they're made of stone. The room is spinning, the anger and jealousy swirling inside me, knotting my stomach. I walk toward the door, taking my bag with me. Gabe's head twists a bit, his eyebrows drooping, knowing I am about to leave. "Baby, no," he half begs, vertical lines between his eyes. 

It's the f#cking star-crossed lovers before me. 

Finally, I see Cassandra's face. The whole of it. The makeup-free woman stands with a near-shocked expression. She's dressed in a red pantsuit with a soft white material under the open matching jacket. Her jet-black hair is long- straight and pulled to the sides by clear-brown hair clips. The cupid's bow lips, and olive-skinned beauty, give me a sorrowful look as if she is not at fault and she is sorry for the position we are both in-, or maybe it's just the poet in me. Huh, who knew with heartbreak comes poetry? 

Gabe grabs my hand and my gaze drops to his beautiful bare feet as I roughly tug my hand away from his grip. I cannot meet his eyes. 

"Waiting for your mother to call, huh?" is all I say as I leave them. 

Gabe rushes behind me but I spin around, my mouth sneering. "Do. Not. F#cking. Call. Me. Figure your sh!t out."