005. Appointment with the Psychologist

Amelia was absorbed in her personal finance lesson, trying to focus on the computer screen. Suddenly, a pop-up message appeared in the lower right corner: "Appointment with the psychologist after dinner." She felt a knot in her stomach. She hadn't expected to have a session with a psychologist so soon.

"What is this?" she murmured to herself, staring at the message with uncertainty. Did they really care about their mental health after turning them into women and prostitutes?

Amelia looked up and saw Lucia sitting nearby, studying her own material. She decided to ask her about the psychologist.

"Lucia, what do you know about the psychologist?" Amelia asked, trying not to sound too anxious.

Lucia looked up from her screen, her eyes showing a spark of understanding. The study room was well-lit, with long rows of desks equipped with computers. The walls were decorated with neutral, discreet paintings, designed not to distract the girls from their studies. Some of the other girls looked up curiously, catching fragments of the conversation.

"The psychologist is… well, she's good at what she does," Lucia said, searching for the right words. "She helps us accept our new reality. She's very persuasive and knows how to ease our suffering. At first, she may seem intimidating, but she's really a great help."

Amelia frowned, confused.

"A great help? That doesn't make sense to me. Everyone seems to be always looking down, bitter," Amelia commented, trying to understand how anyone could find comfort in a situation like this.

Lucia sighed, glancing around before responding in a low voice.

"She does her job well, but we're all worried about our future. Six months, six months is all the time we have to secure a good ending or at least one that's not as bad," Lucia pondered for a moment, looking for the best example to illustrate her point. "Maybe my best experience was after losing my virginity. I felt dirty, disgusted, violated, and wanted to end my life. It wasn't pleasurable. My first man was a fat, unattractive guy. He just spread my legs and pumped inside me until he finished. Afterward, he soaked a cotton pad in the blood mixed with his semen and stored it in a little box with my name on it. How do you overcome that? The disgusting man had a shelf full of those little boxes."

Amelia felt a knot in her stomach, horrified.

"I'm sorry. How did she help you overcome that?" Amelia asked, unable to imagine how anyone could deal with something so awful.

Lucia closed her eyes for a moment, recalling. Then, her eyes lit up as she began to explain.

"We focused on how it had been until that point," Lucia said. "The date was incredible. He took me to a three-Michelin-star restaurant. I'd never been to a place like that. He showered me with attention and seemed genuinely interested in me. Then we went to the most exclusive nightclub in Bravura. Entry there costs a fortune, and the champagne he ordered was amazing. Honestly, the entire date, except for the act, was spectacular. Even the time leading up to it and how he treated me afterward were great. The necklace he gave me was beautiful. I wish I could find a man like him, but not just for one night and better in bed. That's what we focused on. Lourdes helped me a lot to focus on those moments and forget the unpleasant part."

Amelia shook her head, still unable to comprehend.

"But that unpleasant moment happened. It can't just be covered up by a wonderful date."

Lucia nodded slowly, her gaze turning more serious.

"Well, she also taught me some tricks to enjoy sex afterward. After that, the only time it was truly awful was with the Russian," she said with a wry smile, remembering Vladislav. "Most expect us to do all the work, so when you learn those tricks to enjoy it, you really use them for your own pleasure."

Amelia felt intrigued.

"What tricks?"

Lucia smiled and winked at her.

"Sorry, those tricks are forbidden to be shared with virgins. But explore yourself and find your most sensitive spots tonight. The secret is to make your partner stimulate them, and there are plenty of ways to do that." Lucia winked as she said those last words. "Now, get back to studying. I'd be happy if you get a good man on your first date."

Amelia nodded slowly, processing the information. The idea of talking to someone about her feelings was comforting and terrifying at the same time. She tried to focus on her lesson, but the anxiety about the psychologist appointment kept buzzing in the back of her mind.

As she attempted to concentrate on the computer screen, Lucia's words kept echoing in her mind. She felt a mixture of relief and fear for the upcoming session. If the psychologist could help her manage her feelings and find a way to accept her new reality, maybe she could survive this.

Amelia looked around, noticing that some of the other girls had been listening too. Their faces showed a mix of curiosity and understanding. She realized that she wasn't alone in this; they all shared a similar fate, all struggling to find a way to adapt and survive.

With renewed determination, Amelia immersed herself back into her lesson. She knew she would need all the strength and knowledge she could gather to face what was coming.

When dinner time arrived, Amelia was more nervous than usual. The trays of food were distributed by the guards, who placed the trays in front of each of the girls with mechanical precision. Amelia sat in front of her computer, trying to eat something to calm her nerves. The food was carefully prepared, with an impeccable presentation that strongly contrasted with her emotional state.

She looked at the food, but her appetite had almost completely vanished. The aromas that would normally have piqued her interest barely distracted her from the anxiety she felt. Each bite felt forced, her stomach churning with each attempt to swallow.

"Calm down, Amelia," she whispered to herself, trying to muster some courage. "This is part of the process. You need to understand and accept your situation to move forward."

Lucia, sitting next to her, noticed Amelia's unease and gave her a reassuring smile.

"The first time is always the hardest," Lucia murmured, trying to comfort her. "The psychologist will help you put things in perspective."

Amelia nodded, grateful for Lucia's support, though her words couldn't completely quell the storm of emotions within her. She tried to focus on the food again, moving her fork around with little enthusiasm.

"What if they try to brainwash me?" Amelia asked in a low voice, her anxiety evident in her gaze. "What if they try to erase my personality and turn me into someone completely different?"

Lucia looked at her with understanding and shook her head.

"It's not brainwashing, Amelia. The psychologist isn't here to erase your personality. They help us adapt, to shape our personalities to better fit with our potential partners. But your essence, who you really are, remains intact."

Amelia wanted to believe her, but doubts still lingered in her mind. She looked around, observing the other girls. Some seemed lost in their own thoughts, while others glanced sideways, probably having overheard the conversation. The study room was well-lit, with long rows of desks equipped with computers. The walls were decorated with neutral, discreet paintings, designed not to distract the girls from their studies.

Eventually, Amelia managed to finish most of her meal, though she didn't truly enjoy any of the dishes. The clock on the wall marked the slow passing of time toward the dreaded appointment with the psychologist. The anxiety grew with each passing second, but Amelia knew she had no choice but to face it.

"Just remember, Amelia," Lucia said, seeing the concern on her friend's face, "this is another step toward your adaptation. The psychologist can be an important ally if you let her."

Amelia nodded again, taking a deep breath to calm herself. As the guards began clearing the empty trays, one of them approached Amelia and leaned slightly towards her.

"Amelia, follow me. It's time for your appointment with the psychologist," he said with a firm but not hostile voice.

"Remember what I told you," Lucia murmured, giving her one last bit of encouragement. "They're not brainwashing you. They're helping you adapt."

Amelia stood up, feeling the fear and uncertainty growing within her. She followed the guard through the hallways, her heels echoing on the floor as they walked. Each step brought her closer to facing her own fears and doubts. Her mind was racing with thoughts about what the psychologist might say and how it might affect her perspective on her new reality.

As she walked, Amelia tried to stay calm and remember Lucia's words. She knew she had to open up and speak honestly about her feelings if she wanted any hope of adapting and surviving in this place.

Finally, they reached a door that was different from the others, more decorated and welcoming. The guard opened the door and motioned for her to enter. Amelia stepped forward, preparing to face the psychologist and, perhaps, herself.

The guard had brought her to a room that was cozier than the others, decorated with soft colors and comfortable furniture. The psychologist, a woman with a serene and professional demeanor, stood up to greet her. She had brown hair tied in a bun and a calm expression on her face.

"Good evening, Amelia. My name is Lourdes. Please, have a seat," she said, gesturing to an armchair in front of her desk.

Amelia sat down, trying to maintain her composure. The room was a refuge of warmth amidst the cold structure of the facility. The walls were painted in pastel tones, and there were plants in the corners that added a touch of life. A soft light from a table lamp created a relaxing atmosphere.

Lourdes settled into her chair and observed Amelia with a compassionate gaze.

"Tell me, how are you feeling today?" the psychologist asked softly.

Amelia hesitated for a moment but then began to speak. She described her fears, her doubts, and the overwhelming sensation of losing control over her life. She talked about the physical transformation, the pressure to adapt, and her terror at the prospect of becoming a prostitute. Lourdes listened attentively, nodding occasionally.

"It's completely normal to feel this way, Amelia. Your life has changed drastically, and it's natural to feel lost and scared," the psychologist said. "But I want you to know that you're here for a reason. This is an opportunity to redeem yourself, to find a new way of being and living."

Amelia listened, feeling a strange mixture of comfort and skepticism. The psychologist's voice seemed almost magical, filled with a special wisdom that was hard to ignore. However, the idea of redemption through prostitution felt deeply contradictory to her.

"How can I redeem myself like this?" Amelia asked, her voice trembling with emotion. "They've taken everything I was; they've turned me into something I never wanted to be."

Lourdes looked at her with empathy and leaned slightly forward.

"I understand your confusion and pain, Amelia. But I want you to think of this as a new opportunity to find a stronger and more resilient version of yourself. Here, you'll learn to adapt, to find strength in difficult situations, and to discover aspects of yourself you never knew existed."

Lourdes continued speaking, offering techniques to manage her anxiety and strategies to accept her new reality. She taught her deep breathing exercises, methods to stay calm, and ways to refocus negative thoughts.

"Remember, Amelia, this is not the end. It's a new beginning. You can find strength within yourself to face this situation," the psychologist concluded. "I also advise you to study everything you can about Suryavanti. Don't ignore it; it could be your ticket to a better life."

Amelia nodded, processing Lourdes' words. Despite her initial resistance, she began to see a glimmer of hope in the darkness. Perhaps, just perhaps, she could find a way to survive and thrive in this new reality.

As the session drew to a close, Amelia felt a little lighter. She still had many doubts and fears, but the conversation with Lourdes had given her a different perspective, a small spark of hope she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Thank you, Lourdes," Amelia said, rising from the chair. "I think this helped."

"I'm glad to hear that, Amelia. Remember, I'm here to help you every step of the way. You're not alone in this."

Amelia left the room, feeling a mix of emotions. She walked back to her room, her thoughts filled with Lourdes' words. The psychologist had planted a seed of hope and determination in her heart, and Amelia was determined to nurture it.

Back in her room, Amelia undressed slowly, feeling the sensation of the fabric against her skin in a different way than before. She lay down on the bed, her mind overwhelmed by Lourdes' words. She was a woman now; she was no longer a man and had to accept herself as such. Lucía's words came to mind immediately: "Explore yourself and find your most sensitive spots tonight."

With these thoughts, she closed her eyes and let her fingertips slide over her body. She started innocently, caressing her arms and hands. Doing it slowly turned out to be surprisingly pleasurable. She moved her right hand up her left arm until it reached her neck and then her ear. She bit her lip in surprise when she found a sensitive spot on her neck, near her ear.

Little by little, and very slowly, her hand moved down to her chest until it reached her right nipple. She lingered there, playing with the areola and feeling a pleasure that, while lesser than on her neck, was still noticeable. She continued downward to her legs, passing over her navel. She was getting aroused but knew she needed to keep exploring. She discovered that the inner side of her thighs was more sensitive, especially the closer she got to her intimate parts.

She had been panting for a while when her hands reached her intimate area. She was drenched, and she barely had time to explore before an intense orgasm shook her entire body. It had been so strong that she couldn't remember ever feeling something like it when she was a man. She felt curious to keep touching the area where so much moisture had gathered, but she needed to shower and pee before sleeping if she wanted to rest well. If she didn't hurry, the gym would be closed.

As she walked towards the bathroom, her mind fantasized about what it must be like to do it with a man if just her hands could bring her so much pleasure. The thought disturbed and excited her at the same time, creating an internal conflict between her new identity and the remnants of her old self.

Amelia entered the bathroom, turned on the shower, and let the warm water run over her body. As the water fell on her, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander freely. Despite all the doubts and fears, she had discovered a part of herself she had never known. The experience left her with a mix of curiosity and fear about her future, but also with a spark of hope.

After stepping out of the shower, she dried herself off and put on a light robe. She sat on the bed, reflecting on everything that had happened that day. The session with Lourdes, the conversation with Lucía, and now this new understanding of her body. She knew the road ahead would be complicated, but she was beginning to understand that adapting was crucial to her survival.

Finally, she lay down and closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment of peace before sleep claimed her. As she succumbed to exhaustion, one idea settled in her mind: if her own hands could discover so much pleasure, perhaps, one day, she could find a way to accept and maybe even enjoy her new life.

With that thought, Amelia let herself drift into sleep, her mind still wandering about the possibilities that the future held.