11th entry

Season: Summer

Weather: Sunny with blazing sunshine. Fine, clear skies without a cloud in sight.

Day of the week: Wednesday

Date: 24th January, 2024

I got caught by Anthony Duin during lunch time when he spotted me buying lunch from the café downstairs. He took me by the arm and dragged me all the way up to the boss floor upstairs where all the bosses have their offices.

I got interrogated to tears by another boss I didn't know and then forcefully 'borrowed' to take minutes for the various bosses in their various meetings until the end of the day. So stressful. I had no idea what they were talking about in the meetings most of the time. I could only note what was said as close to verbatim as I could get. At home time, I ran into my direct line boss in the elevator again where he glared at me in furious silence and I shrank into a corner.

Late in the evening, I was woken up from where I had crashed onto my couch after work by the repeatedly ringing doorbell and someone hammering at my front door. Thinking it might be a friend, I opened the door. I shouldn't have.

My direct line boss barged in, drunk and barely able to walk straight. He shouted abuse at Captain Hank Ted, my giant teddy bear on the couch, choking and beating it up. He complained about me causing him to be fined and lose a huge chunk of money.

Shocked and slightly amused, but also afraid at how he was almost twisting Captain Hank Ted's head off while he sobbed tears and rubbed mucous all over the bear's furry face, I stood a long moment before realising that I should do something.

"Miss Brown, who would have known you're really brown and furry in private? How do you hide all this fur during the day?" he slurred and hicupped, slobbering over the bear. "Your fur is so soft. Your daytime make up is amazing."

It didn't seem right to call the police, so I called my team leader who called one of the managers who called one of the bosses for advice. That boss called me and so hearing everything that was happening while I watched my drunken and angry direct line boss in his drunken delirium assaulting my teddy bear. He was hugging and kissing my big soft toy, even while he was commented on how nice and soft the bear's body was. How forgiving and compliant the bear was. When he began taking his clothes off, I ran outside after putting my shoes on, grabbing my house keys on the way out the front door.

Captain Hank Ted is definitely going in the bin after this.

A crowd of the bosses arrived, led by my team leader and Anthony Duin.

"Next time," Anthony Duin told me, after forcefully turning me around and examining me under the corridor light to ensure I was unharmed, not believing that I had not been touched by the drunken man inside, "just call the police for matters like this. Our company can deal with the fall out. We have a legal department for a reason."

I just raised my eyebrows at that. It hadn't been what I had expected at all.

He had raised a querying eyebrow in return at my poor trust in the company. But then, hearing the noise coming from inside my apartment, he closed his eyes and rubbed his face in suddenly understanding.

"Ah," was pretty much all he said.

One of the other bosses came out, on the phone with the wife of the rutting pig trashing my apartment, begging her to come pick the drunken pig up. It sounded like she was refusing to do any such thing as she was too busy being caught up in another man's bed.

Ugh. Too much information.

Stony Boss went to talk to that boss once he got off the phone.

My team leader shivered and slapped at mosquitoes that were whining around him. Although it was summer, the temperature had dropped quite drastically this evening.

"You probably won't want to stay here tonight," he told me. "Do you have anywhere else you could go for the night?"

I shook my head, wondering whether I should find time on the weekend or in the next few evenings to thoroughly disinfect my entire apartment. I wondered what the cost of the nearby motel was.

Stony Boss came back with the other boss who had been on the phone.

"Are you happy to settle this privately?" they asked me and I nodded.

There was no need to call the police if this could be dealt with quietly and didn't harm the company's interests so that I wouldn't get a black mark on my record and nearly lose my job. In saying so, the other boss's eyes flew alarmingly high with his furrowed forehead and his hairline shifting up and backwards at least 2 cm.

He looked at Stony Boss who looked at my team leader who just raised his hands and shrugged.

"Our whole department thinks like that," he said.

Both bosses face-palmed at that while the team leader and I shared shrugs.

"I think they think you should have called the police," he told me.

"I think your thoughts on what they think may be correct," I agreed.

Hearing our comments, both bosses made gestures of frustration and then walked away to chat together. When they returned, they were more straightforward.

"You will receive compensation for this," Stony Boss told me. "The legal department will come to evaluate the damage to your property and your mental health. Considering this is all related to our company and so on, the company will also provide you with a few days off in order to get your apartment sorted and pay for it to be cleaned. As soon as it's safe, we'll escort you back in so you can grab a few things and pay for you to spend the night in a hotel tonight. What do you think."

"Whatever you say, Boss," I nodded and didn't quite understand when Stony Boss's face changed all sorts of angry colours.

"At least show more interest in your own interests," he spluttered in exasperation.

"You've already said everything that covers all my interests," I pointed out. "Thank you for your interest and care."

Both bosses looked at my team leader again who just shrugged with upturned hands again, heaving a heavy sigh.

"What she said," he said.

"Is everyone in your department as annoying and difficult to get along with as the two of you?" Stony rubbed his face.

My team leader and I exchanged glances.

"Annoying?"

"Difficult?"

"Mm. Worse, probably," I nodded.

"Much worse," my team leader agreed. "Believe it or not, but Jane is probably one of the most agreeable. Certainly in our team. I think she might be easier to get along with than I am."

"So help me God," the other boss prayed to the ceiling.

"Pig head is probably the most disagreeable," I said to my team leader.

"Definitely," my team leader nodded.

The door of my apartment cracked open.

"We've got his clothes back on but he's fallen asleep," that boss said, looking somewhat disheveled.

The sour scent of vomit wafted out and I wrinkled my nose.

The apartment would definitely need to be disinfected tomorrow. If not once, then twice. Until I felt it was clean enough to live in again.

Stony murmured with the boss standing in the doorway before pointing at me and beckoning a finger.

"Can you trust us with your apartment for a few days while we get it cleaned back up for you?"

I scratched my head.

"You can pack your vaulables and anything you need with you."

"The most valuable things in the apartment are the second hand fridge that barely works, a ten year old laptop and a fifteen year old second hand analogue TV that no longer works."

"Maybe not the TV anymore," the boss in the doorway wiped some sweat from his forehead. "He smashed it."

"Well... then the laptop," I shrugged. "Captain Hank Ted was pretty high on my list of valuable things, but he's definitely not anymore. I don't want to ever see his furry butt again. Pun intended."

"Consider it done," the boss in the doorway saluted. "Would you like a replacement?"

"Uhh... No thanks," I waved my hand. "I'll be fine without him."

The boss in the doorway glanced inside and exchanged hand signals with the other boss who was keeping an eye on the drunk pig.

"You can come in, but be careful not to wake him. We don't want him waking up and becoming violent again. Go pack whatever you need for a few days. Stony will take you to a hotel."

I crept in with my team leader and Anthony Duin behind me. I opened my wardrobe, closed my suitcase and fetched my toiletry bag from the bathroom. Then I put my laptop and charger inside the suitcase, dragging it back out with me.

"Done already? That was fast," said the boss standing in the doorway.

I had never unpacked after renting out this place so that if anything happened, I could make a quick getaway. I was prepared.

"Is that all the stuff you have?" my team leader asked me in a low voice.

I also didn't have a lot of belongings, so there was almost nothing to unpack anyway.

I nodded and fished for my spare keys from the basket full of odds and ends on the bookshelf. Those spare keys were given to the boss standing in the doorway. I gave them instructions on where the spare blankets and pillows were in case they wanted to curl up on the rug by the window to sleep for a while. I also invited them to eat whatever they felt like in my fridge and pantry. I didn't have much, but I hoped it would do.

"Even my dog, Posy, has more clothes and things than you. Are you sure you're a woman, Jane?" my team leader asked.

I punched the man in the shoulder in reply, making him wince and rub his arm. Glancing behind me, I saw Anthony Duin eyeing me with a complicated expression.

My team leader said goodbye outside the apartment. He joked that he'd see me when my apartment had been sorted out unless I was called into work earlier. Then he went home. Only two bosses would be staying to keep an eye on the pig and to start helping clean stuff up. Stony Boss would drive me to the hotel in his car.

In the car, Stony Boss seemed to be unable to hold himself back any longer.

"Miss Brown," he said, pressing his lips into a straight line and then pursuing them in turns, "is your salary very low? Or are you facing some financial difficulties or paying off some debts? I can't help but notice the... lack of belongs and the advanced age of what you do have."

"Oh," I nodded and didn't say anything.

When he saw that I didn't want to talk about it, he tried again.

"Miss Brown, do you need any financial assistance? Or help with any other difficulties? It's fine if it's personal and you don't want to talk about it, but I couldn't help but notice that even your pantry and fridge are near empty."

I sighed.

"No debts. No difficulties. Just tight finances. Life on the minimum award wage is like that."

"If you don't mind," the man ventured, "how does your pay pan out for all your expenses?"

I wrinkled my nose, looking out at the night lights.

"Let's talk about things in approximation," I said to the outside window. "The rent for my apartment takes all the pay from two fortnightly pay cycles. Thankfully, the rent is paid on a monthly basis. One fortnight's pay is just enough for the bills and maybe another half is needed for insurance costs. Bills only come out quarterly, so we don't need to worry about them too much. If I work an early morning or an evening job for three nights a week, I can just about break even, but that's not counting groceries and food."

"How are you paying for your meals then?" Stony Boss asked in a slightly higher pitched voice. He sounded stressed.

"I work half a day on a Saturday and take a night shift job Saturday night so that I can get two and a half pay, which gives me enough for groceries and a little left over to buy coffee or the occasional meal if I haven't had time to make it myself."

"According to your payroll, you work 70 hours or more per week for our company on average, half of which is time-in-lieu. How are you having time for extra evening jobs?"

"I haven't," I replied. "I've been doing early morning cleaning jobs through an agency before I come into work. It pays pretty well. The Saturday jobs are pretty good too. So in all, I'm doing ok. The rent at my apartment is pretty high, but I quite like the place and the location. It's cheaper than most other places although I wish the security could be a little better."

Stony rubbed his cheek hard enough to turn the skin red.

"I see," was all he said in a soft voice. There was a long moment of silence before he spoke again. "If I remember rightly, you've been with our company for three years already. You're still on minimum award wage?"

"Well, the pig head there in my apartment said that I wasn't meeting my KPIs and so didn't qualify for the yearly incremental increase."

Stony clenched and unclenched his teeth a few times.

"What about the yearly bonus we usually give our workers at Christmas time? Have you at least been receiving those? That should help a little, right?"

"Oh, it would if I received it," I nodded. "I don't know about the others in our department but I never meet my deadlines on time and so I'm not entitled to the Christmas bonus."

"Miss Brown," said Stony Boss after another painfully long silence, "the thought has just crossed my mind, but have you had dinner? Are you hungry?"

Ugh. How was I meant to answer that? Of course I was. Who would be when they had been dragged away from their lunch? I seldom ate anything besides lunch, unless I had spare food to splurge. In which case, I might eat dinner like I did the other day because I was in a good mood.

"I'm fine," I managed to get out somehow. I didn't want to share my personal situation in too much detail. There was no need to let anyone know. "I'm not hungry."

After another long silence, Anthony Duin twitched.

"I seem to remember that I pulled you away from the café before you could buy anything during lunchtime today," he said in a slow voice. "I didn't think. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm used to it," I shrugged.

"Used to it?"

"In a manner of speaking," I said.

"Then, Miss Brown, when was the last time you had a proper meal?"

I had to think about that one. It was a real doozy.

"Monday's lunch, I think? Yesterday was too full of meetings and trying but failing to catch up on Monday's work. There was no time to eat."

"If I remember rightly," said Anthony Duin, still in that same slow voice, "you only had one slice of bread folded in half as a peanut butter sandwich. I remember because I made sure to look around the lunchroom in an effort to try and get to know you all better and was struck by the plainness of your meal."

"A peanut butter sandwich is already plenty rich," I told him. "Usually, it's just a plain slice of bread with a cup of tea."

"A little peanut butter sandwich, Miss Brown, is nothing. You aren't by any chance trying to lose weight, are you? You're already so thin that if you poke me with your elbow, you might draw blood."

"Lose weight? Oh no," I said. "I'm no body image or health freak. If anything, I'm trying to gain a bit of weight. It just won't stay on."

"It wouldn't if you aren't eating anything, Miss Brown."

Was that a trace of sarcasm there?

The car suddenly turned a corner and I clutched at the door handle.

"I'm taking you to dinner. You are going to eat a proper meal and I'm paying," Anthony Duin said in a firm tone.

"Uh, why?"

"Why do you think?"

"Can we not?" I hesitated. "I'm more tired than hungry and..."

The man shot me a glare that made my voice fade away, fade away, fade away...

I shrank into the car seat and focused on watching the lights go by. A yellow one. An orange one. A white one. A blue one. A red one. A green one.

The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake.

"Wake up, Miss Brown. We're here."

Through heavy eyelids that didn't want to open, I saw the man send a message and then receive a phone call. I heard what was said but the meaning didn't register until I found myself being seated at a dining table in what looked like the presidential suite of the hotel where I saw a bunch of big bosses. Not the normal bosses of the company, mind you, the big bosses of various companies under our corporation's umbrella. That woke me up and made me stand straight.

"Stony, what did you say to her? She's shaking like a leaf and she's gone completely pale."

"I didn't say anything," the man pulling me by the wrist said, seating me in a chair at the table with all the other big bosses where I definitely, definitely didn't belong. "I don't know what's got into her."

How could I not be afraid? All the big bosses who could squish the fortnightly salary out of a lowly ant like me were staring at me as if I were potential prey, exuding so much power and authority that I felt like I was about to be crushed by their combined auras alone.

"What do you want to eat?" a menu was placed in front of me.

The moment I saw the prices of the entrees, I froze and thrust the menu away. Expensive. Much too expensive. I couldn't eat any of that. It was the cost of a fortnight's worth of groceries just for a plate of three arancini balls.

I glanced at the man who had brought me in and he took the menu from me with a sigh. He called for some food on the internal phone for me, while I tried to stop shaking with fear. Although the big bosses had stopped staring at me, there were still two or three who were eyeing me with undisguised interest or amusement.

Anthony Duin sat beside me and gave the big bosses a brief run down of what had happened in my apartment today. Someone thrust a laptop in front of me to take notes and I typed automatically, while my heavy eyelids fell shut on their own. Not long later, I was nudged awake.

I discovered that I had fallen asleep with my head on Anthony Duin's shoulder.

"Miss Brown, your food has arrived," he told me in a soft voice while the other bosses were discussing another topic now and someone else had the laptop again.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I fell asleep."

I don't know how I could have fallen asleep in front of the big bosses. I would have thought it was impossible. Really impossible. Normally I should be shaking in my boots, which I had been, and yet I had somehow done still fallen asleep. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that my cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"It's ok," Stony Boss told me in a gentle voice, putting a spoon in my hand. "Eat up."

I sniffed to discover the smell of pumpkin soup and buttered bread. I ate a few spoonfuls and dunked a piece of bread to soften in the soup, taking care not to make any noise. The feeling of having good, hot food in the stomach is satisfying. So satisfying that after a few more spoonfuls, my head was bobbing and drooping again while I struggled to stay awake. I was determined to finish the expensive food but it was too much for my shrunken stomach.

I ended up getting a severe stomachache, clutching my stomach with white knuckles and a pale face. Clumsily, I wiped my lips.

Vaguely, I remembered someone asking me what time I had to get up for my cleaning job tomorrow, to which I mumbled a reply.

Two of the lady big bosses then helped me into a bedroom, got me to take some painkillers and then tucked me into bed. One of them even gave me a goodnight kiss on the forehead before turning out the light. Or was there a third person? I wasn't sure.

Two hours later, my stomachache woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep again. Which is why I am writing in my journal.