32nd entry

Season: Autumn

Weather: Warm and windy with scattered fox showers

Day of the week: Monday

Date: 18th March, 2024

He's gone . The Stony Boss is gone. I only just found out at work today. Only just found my journal and apartment key where he left them on the bookshelf for me to find. Why did he leave them there? The top of the bookshelf is above eye level. If I hadn't been looking for my keys when I accidentally dropped them outside the key basket rather than inside, I'd have never noticed.

Well.

Although I'm a bit conflicted, good riddance.

He was too intrusive. Too controlling. Domineering. Didn't truly respect me. Didn't respect me enough. Tried to force me to confirm to his ideals. If he could invade my privacy now, how much worse would it have been if we had actually gotten into a relationship? How much more would he have controlled my life?

It's good that he's gone. It's good that he's gone. I can breathe a sigh of relief. Freedom. I'm free again. I don't have to worry about him suddenly barging into my apartment in the evenings anymore or have to put up with him almost forcing me to eat whenever he thought I should.

Although I'm thankful for all he's done for me and how he was there for me and how he made my family get off my back and stop asking me for money, at the same time, I was feeling quite suffocated by him. Smothered.

I'm glad he's gone. I wish him all the best. I'll trust that he kept his word and didn't make a copy of my keys. He's still a boss. A professional. He wouldn't stoop so low as to perform such blatant stalker like behaviour. Right?

That reminds me, I still need to finish paying him back. After paying him back, we will no longer have any ties or connections. Our relationship that I never agreed to will end cleanly in this way. I'll send him the money now, while I still remember.

Ok. Money sent. Whatever relationship we had, it's done.

The downside to the Stony Boss leaving is that his replacement is an apathetic fop who only seems to be interested in collecting his paycheck for the least amount of work possible. I heard he's the nephew of one of the big bosses. We'll hardly interact and the other bosses should be keeping an eye on things, so it should be ok. He's in a different department so it won't affect my work much.

Also, now everyone knows I'm a free woman again. After some of their probing discussion, I decided to let the word out. I wasn't with Stony Boss and wouldn't be keeping a long distance relationship. I had never really been in a relationship with him in the first place. He had just been helping me out of compassion because of the personal issues he had become privy to.

There had been a chorus of 'oh's at that and everyone had left, their gossipy hearts feeling satisfied that they now understood my situation.

At the end of work today, Llewyn asked a group of us to all go out for dinner together. A rarity, considering our teams seldom have joint social gatherings unless it's an official gathering. It was nice. Short and pleasant. Nobody got drunk. We just enjoyed the time out together, chatting. After all, we still had work tomorrow and some of us had families to get back to.

"We should do this another time," someone had said as we were leaving the bistro located in the cellar of a building a few doors away. It was one of those hidden dining places that most of the public don't know about. Our company people often use it as a private gathering place for social events, both formal and informal. So we weren't the only ones from our company there, but the other people were from other floors and departments and we didn't really know them. We only nodded in passing.

There was a gathering of some of our bosses and big bosses in a private room though. As we were leaving, so was the gathering of bosses. They came out of the private room as we were getting up to pay the bill after we had all piled out share of the bill in cash in the middle of the table for Llewyn to collect.

"Wait," said THE biggest boss of all to everyone and everyone froze where they were.

I was halfway out of my seat and was stuck in that halfway position when everyone stopped what they were doing. I couldn't decide whether I should stand up or sit down again.

"The relevant people are here. We might as well as them their opinion," THE biggest boss of all said.

The surrounding bosses nodded, crowding around our table and making us all nervous. A hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump and eyes turn to look at me.

"Don't be nervous. There's nothing to be scared about," THE biggest boss of all told me, gently pushing me back down into my seat and then stepping to the side. "You can sit back down."

Don't be nervous? Who wouldn't be nervous when they had been surrounded by their executive level management bosses that they seldom saw except at super formal meetings or when the department was getting a serious telling off.

Llewyn reached out to pat me reassuringly on the shoulder as he came to sit back down in the seat next to me where he had been sitting before.

"You say it," THE biggest boss of all turned to our new direct line boss. Our new direct line boss was a middle manager in a different department. So far, he'd turned out to be pretty good. At least, I had no complaints and hadn't heard any complaints from any of the others so far either.

"You all know about the new department that we've been clearing space for on the twelfth floor. The renovations are almost complete and the initial vacancies are open. We just need a few reliable people to start things off while things get organised. We will be opening internal recruitment for those vacancies next week, however we have decided to select the initial core group first. Mr Carew," our direct line boss turned to Llewyn sitting next to me, "Are you willing to move to the new department as one of the managers and do you have anyone in your team you would like to recommend as team leader in your place?"

Llewyn started, blinked and looked around at his team members, my team leader, at me for some reason and then back at our direct line boss. He glanced at THE biggest boss of all, flushing a light pink.

"Do you need time to think about this? I've given you the heads up before," our direct line boss said.

Llewyn swallowed and looked down at the table. From around the table his and my team members helped him to weigh up the pros and cons, encouraging him to go for it. Llewyn took and deep breaths and then looked back up into our direct line boss's face, glancing briefly at the other bosses surrounding our table.

"I'll do it," he announced and recommended someone else in his team to be next team leader.

"Very good," THE biggest boss of all nodded and patted Llewyn on the shoulder.

"Then the formal announcement will come out by the end of this week regarding your job role change and you'll start in the new department next week. The person you nominated shall be the interim team leader until a proper recruitment and interview process has been completed in order to ensure fairness across the board. Then you'll perform the proper handover procedures before being expected to jump into your new job role with both feet," our direct line boss announced.

I slapped Llewyn on the back in congratulations and the same congratulatory words echoed around the crowded table. We were all happy for him. He deserved the promotion. I reckoned it'd be great for him. The team leader role was too constricting for him and his talents. He was meant for greater and better things.

"If you were allowed to choose an assistant to work closely with you in building your new job role and the new department, who would you choose?"

A few of Llewyn's team members sat up straight or leaned forwards, looking at him eagerly. Llewyn looked around the table and then his eyes rested on me.

"Jane Brown," he said with a blush.

My eyes widened and all eyes turned to me with either contemplative surprise or shock. I shrank in my chair at all the attention, making everybody smile.

"No way!" my team leader jumped out of his seat, almost upturning it. He righted the chair and then pointed at Llewyn, almost shouting a rude expletive but managing to swallow it in time. "No way. Jane is mine. You can't take her from my team. We need her. I know what you're doing. You're trying to give my team a final blow before you go so that you'll finally beat us in the efficiency ratings. That's it, isn't it?"

That made everyone and the bosses laugh while I shrank down in my chair a little more.

"Before we discuss this further," said THE biggest boss of all, looking between Llewyn's blushing face while he stared at me and me slowly shrinking further down in my chair, "I have to remind you of company policy regarding romantic relationships. Romance is expected and indeed encouraged within the company, but not between direct line managers and subordinates. If it is across departments or teams and there is no power play that could be involved in the relationship, then if you truly develop a relationship with someone else in the company, I'll give you a marriage bonus and paid leave for your honeymoon after you get married. You'll also get a small bonus for the birthday of every child you have. BUT if a romantic relationship develops between people within the same line of command, so to speak, I'm sorry, but if you want your romance to blossom, we would have to split you up. So, think again, young man."

Llewyn blinked at THE biggest boss of all and then around the room, looking everywhere but at me.

"After seeing her work prowess when we got thale chance to borrow her and after doing a bit of investigation, I've been thinking of offering her a secretary position under me," said one of the big bosses.

"I was thinking something similar," said another boss, "but I was thinking more a personal assistant role."

"Mm. I was thinking the same," THE biggest boss of all agreed. "Someone of her talents can't be left on the floor for too much longer. We really need to cultivate her so that she can bloom. Who knows? Perhaps one day, she'll take her place at our table on the executive level."

There was a chorus of agreements from the big bosses and a few of the other bosses, while those who didn't know me stared at me with curiosity.

Out of sheer embarrassment, I rapidly shrank down in my seat until my head was almost ready to disappear below the table.

"No way!" wailed my team leader again, rubbing his hair. "It's one thing for Llewyn to want to take her away. I can still argue with him, but how am I supposed to argue with you bosses if you snatch her from my team?"

That made everybody laugh again.

"If your team's efficiency will drop so much in her absence, then we should investigate and consider why your team needs her so much to maintain good efficiency," our direct line boss chortled.

"Boss, it's not that the rest of their team is slacking off. It's not like that at all," Llewyn spoke up on behalf of our team. "Their team work so hard that everyone else in our department thinks that they're crazy. You don't know us all that well yet, but once you do, you'll come to understand that without Jane keeping them all in check and under control, you'd be putting out fires left, right and centre. Their individual efficiency won't drop, mind you. They'll still be the most efficient team in our department, but without Jane, the rest of us in the department will finally have a fair chance at winning the star team award at the end of the quarter. Boss, just take it from the rest of us. She's just that good. If you want me in the new department, she would be the best assistant. But now I'm conflicted. I was hoping I'd have the chance to... you know..." Llewyn's voice faded away while he looked at me with a tender gaze that gave me goosebumps and scared me enough to completely slip off my seat and under the table.

"I'm not here anymore," I squeaked. "You can't see me."

The crowd roared with laughter while THE biggest boss of all loved my chair and together with one of the lady bosses, fished me back out from under the table, placing me back in my seat. The lady boss pinched my cheek.

"Aww, Janie. You're so cute. No, don't slide down off your chair anymore. You might fall off again."

I winched at her sharp fingernails pinching into my cheeks as she played with them.

"Miss Brown, what would you like to do? It seems you have quite the number of choices," THE biggest boss of all helped the lady boss pinching my cheek to hold me upright in my chair, so that I couldn't go anywhere. He looked at me in a teasing manner, making me shake with fear. "Don't be so scared. Nobody's going to hurt you. You're quite in demand. If you choose any of the offers we're all providing to you, you'll get quite the pay rise, you know. Of course, if you come and be my assistant or join my secretariat, it would be a bigger pay rise than all the others."

"Boss! That's not fair!" one of the other bosses complained and they murmured against him.

"What would you like to do, Miss Brown?"

"I would like to dig a hole and bury myself, if you please," I gasped in a stammering, breathless squeak. "I don't have the qualifications for most of the job roles needed to be your secretary or anyone's assistant."

"Oh, qualifications are easy to get," snorted the lady boss who was still pinching my cheek. "Why do you think I've been giving you all that extra reading? Just do a short online course. Simples," she winked at me.

"You guys are trying to poach one of my best people," my direct line boss glowered around at all the gathered people. "If anyone has first dibs, it's me. She's under me at the moment."

"You haven't promoted her or taken her for yourself yet," argued another boss, "which means she's still fair pickings."

"It's your fault that she's being underutilised and now you're complaining?" a big boss snorted.

"That's because I'm still new to my role and my department," my direct line boss sniffed. "I can only get to know my people slowly. How was I meant to know I had such a gem hiding right under my nose?"

"If you're worried about qualifications," THE biggest boss of all said to me, slapping away the lady boss's cruel fingers and turning my face to look at him with a cupped palm on my cheek, "I'll pay for your courses and give you time to complete them. All while being paid. How about it?"

"We can do that too!" jumped another of the big bosses. "He's not the only one who can give that offer."

"I'm just a little worker that does what they're told," I mumbled. "What am I supposed to do with so many offers? Don't you bosses know that you're all giants among men who make the little people of the masses like me tremble with fear when your shadow passes by the door? What are you trying to do? Make me die of fright in your office? With so many offers, I'm going to squashed flat. Aren't you all scared of me running away first?"

Llewyn who had been leaning close to hold my trembling hand in order to try and comfort me, choked on his saliva upon hearing that. THE biggest boss of all and the lady boss beside me were the only other people to have heard my mutterings and had broken out into laughter, slapping my shoulders and the backrest of my chair. The lady boss repeated what I had said out loud for everyone to hear and soon the entire table and floor was shaking with the roads of laughter.

That wasn't funny, guys. It wasn't meant to be funny. I was being serious. Totally and utterly serious. I didn't and still don't understand why they were laughing.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" my team leader asked. "I don't think it's funny either. I have no idea why they're all laughing. I can't explain it to you."

"I think you're on the spectrum," a boss shook his head at my team leader.

"Everyone's on the spectrum," my team leader rolled his eyes and pointed a thumb at me. "She's just a little worse off than me."

"Hey!"

What was this? Pelt Jane with overripe vegetables day? Were they trying to see how much they could embarrass me before I spontaneously combusted?

"Boss, if I may. I'll retract my request for her as my assistant," Llewyn raised a hand to capture everyone's attention and get them to quiet enough for the bosses to hear him. "I want to pursue Jane romantically."

Since I wasn't allowed to shrink in my chair anymore, I covered my face with my hands, eliciting another round of snickers. Llewyn requested somebody else from his team to be his assistant instead. People all called out their well wishes and encouragement toward him for a successful chase.

Ugh.

"How about this?" the lady boss who was trying to pinch my cheeks but was being fended off by THE biggest boss of all who was still holding me upright in my seat. "Let's send her for more training and study. Let her complete all the qualifications needed for the job roles we would like her to do. In the meantime, we can borrow her from her current team when we need her. When the time comes, we can all compete for her equally, or she can apply for whatever position catches her eye."

The biggest boss of all snapped his fingers

"Done deal."

A few of the bosses cheered.

"Don't think any of you are going to get a chance," the lady boss snorted at them. "We're up against the great lord and final boss."

"Then we need to gang up on him," one of the bosses suggested and a few cheered, while THE biggest boss of all tightened his grip on my shoulder enough that it hurt for a moment before he let go.

"Brutes. Disloyal courtiers. Unreliable ministers. Shouldn't you all be helping me to find ways to ease my burden rather than adding to it?" THE biggest boss of all gave the other bosses a cold look and his aura flared. We all flinched.

"To celebrate Llewyn's promotion for him," said our direct line boss, "I'll pay your table's bill."

At that, the group of bosses murmured their goodnight greetings and left together.

Everyone around the table cheered and collected their money back from Llewyn once the bosses were gone.

I didn't realise when everyone left. Somehow, it suddenly became me alone with Llewyn at the table. His gentle eyes were on me and I couldn't help swallowing a few times.

"I'll take you home," Llewyn said after a long and awkward silence.

After another long and awkward silence, I agreed, and in doing so, non-verbally agreed to his romantic pursuit.

What have I gone and done? I haven't even finished getting over the previous person before the new one has come. I'm so not ready for this.