39th entry

Season: Summer

Weather: Scorching hot weather. I looked out the window and saw someone cooking bacon and eggs on an iron pan on the sidewalk for their breakfast.

Day of the week: Monday

Date: 20th February, 2024

Shameless boss stayed home today, while Stony Boss went into the office. Word was that just as the work day started at the office, the air-conditioning and computers and everything were just starting and gearing up for the day, when the electricity in the entire block failed. The council were called and it turned out the local electrical distribution substation was down, because apparently some components had melted or the circuits breakers had all gone off or something like that.

When it was discovered that it would take the better part of the workday for the electricity to be fixed, everyone was sent home and told to work from home instead. Stony Boss came back home around lunch time, bringing Chinese takeout, Greek donut loukoumades drizzled with hazelnut chocolate and ice-cream. The food was good. The food was very good. The food was very, very good. I ate so much but didn't throw up. It was a miracle. It was amazing.

Can you tell how excited I am just remembering the food?

The guys kept glancing at me and grinning to see how happy I was when I was given a box of those loukoumades and ice-cream to eat all by myself. It tasted so wonderful that I couldn't stop smiling. And after I finished, I couldn't help shedding a few tears that it was all finished.

"Why are you crying?" the shameless boss chuckled while wiping the upraised corners of my lips.

"Because I'm so happy," I replied blissfully, upturning my face and closing my eyes, "and sad that it's all gone. That was one of the best meals I have ever had in my life that wasn't poisoned. Thank you, Stony Boss."

I heard and felt more than saw both men freeze for a moment. Reaching out to try and take the serviettes tissue that the shameless boss had been using to wipe my lips, I frowned in confusion when the tissue was taken away and instead something else came crashing down on my lips.

On my lips. Oh. My.

You can probably guess what happened.

Even just remembering it, I feel so hot. So shy. I want to stick my head in the sand. I want to hide in my bed under the covers if only it weren't so hot. I want to run away - again, only if it weren't so hot outside. It's as if the air conditioning stopped working. Just thinking about it makes me feel that way all over again.

Soft. His lips were soft. They tasted like the dessert we had just eaten. Donuts, chocolate hazelnut and vanilla ice-cream.

Tongue. There was tongue action. And it wasn't scary, domineering and painful, forcing me under control. This was different. So, so...

Speechless. It left me speechless. The memory of it still leaves me speechless.

This was different from the pecks on a cheek which had already made me freeze and head explode in fright, panic and that fluttering feeling that makes you undecided on whether it's good or bad.

My brain may have exploded. My internal CPU crashed. I melted into a puddle of goo and didn't know when he stopped or even how I ended up on his lap on his bed in his bedroom.

It was only when he had halfway undressed both of us that my brain rebooted itself and comprehended the danger I was in. I hadn't yet recovered and doing anything of this sort was not good for me right now. It was with dishevelled clothes and hair that I fled from the shameless boss's bedroom into Stony Boss's shocked line of view and then out of his view. I hid in the bathroom, locking the door. Huddled in a ball, I turned the cold water on to try and douse the fire in/on me, and soak me, clothes and all. Perhaps the icy cold would drum some sense back into me.

I had needed to calm down. Cool down. Really, cool down. I think I must have passed out because the next thing I knew, the bathroom door had been broken down, I was wrapped in a towel and rushed to the hospital.

The hospital dried me and my hair, got me dressed in dry clothes and confirmed I was fine. I may have just gotten over-excited, over-anxious, over-stimulated... What other 'over' prefixed words are there that I can use?

And the doctor had really lit into them again.

Shameless boss apologised over and over and over again. Poor guy. I may have just scarred him for life. He may have PTSD when kissing girls in the future, especially me. Probably he won't ever kiss me again. Might be too scared to. He might hesitate and never want to try it again when it was one of the most exciting and beautiful things that had ever happened to me. Who would have thought that kisses could be so wonderful and exhilarating? It wasn't even all his fault. Not his fault at all.

It was me. It was my fault. My problem. My bad health. See? This was why I couldn't and shouldn't ever get into a romantic relationship. Things would never end well.

Anyway, once back in the apartment, I was tucked back into bed with my journal. It was very likely that while I was asleep later, Stony Boss would sneak my journal out for both of them to read. See. Even though I'm asleep, it's not like I'm entirely ignorant of what's going on. It's not like I don't know what they're doing when they sneak into my room when I'm supposed to be asleep. I've had years of needing to stay alert and on guard against danger. After all, before my sister was old enough, I was the only one that...

You know what? Nevermind. Let's not go there.

The main thing is, I KNOW YOU BOYS ARE READING MY JOURNAL. Stop invading my privacy and leave my journal alone. You'd better both toe the line or I will definitely be leaving. No matter how well I feel. Compris?

Now that that is off my chest, I feel a little better. More like I can breathe.