I'm not okay

"There's no need to think about cooking right now because I'm not actually hungry."

"Really?"

"Instead of talking about food, what about you? Are you okay?"

Leonid's sudden question surprised Charlotte. She looked at him, quickly nodded, then smiled.

"Very much so. Why do you ask?"

Leonid stepped closer and reached out toward her cheek. Charlotte was about to avoid his hand but didn't, knowing that the person before her was Leonid the one who made her feel safe despite her unease in that moment.

"Hmm?"

His thumb gently brushed her cheek as her wide eyes looked up at him, anticipating his next words as he murmured,

"I just wanted to make sure. Your eyes seem to be telling me so much… Are you sure you're okay?"

He slipped his pinky finger under her small chin, tilting her head up until her gaze met his directly.

"My eyes...?"

Charlotte's voice was low and hoarse, as if the words were dragged out of her throat with difficulty. Perhaps it was because she wanted to tell him everything, but hesitated at the last moment.

What would Leonid think if she told him everything? If she confessed that once again, she couldn't do anything in front of that strange man?

Her trembling fingers brushed against the base of her neck, concealed under her blouse, which she had carefully chosen to hide the marks of the man's grip.

"You're imagining things."

"Maybe I am."

Leonid didn't argue, accepting her words as he withdrew his hand and walked toward the couch. The warmth his touch left on her skin faded quickly in the chilly air.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about this morning?"

he asked as he slowly unbuttoned his jacket and sat on the couch, waiting for her response.

Charlotte stood still, a few steps away, staring into the void as her thoughts spiraled again.

"Charlotte?"

Leonid's calm voice called out to her, though his expression began to show concern.

"Huh?"

She snapped out of her daze and looked at him. Her beautiful features were pale, burdened by a weight too heavy to share.

"I didn't hear you. What did you say?"

"I asked what you wanted to talk about this morning."

"Ah… I see…"

She paused, hesitant, then spoke in a halting voice.

"Daniel said his girlfriend wants to hold her birthday party at the camp… and she invited me as one of his friends… also…"

Her words caught in her throat. She felt the urge to cry swelling inside her with every passing second, but she resisted.

"And also what?"

Leonid asked patiently, his voice tinged with curiosity.

"She said..."

Her voice was barely audible, as if she had lost the will to continue. She clasped her hands tightly together, fidgeting with her fingers before abruptly turning away.

Leonid raised an eyebrow as he observed Charlotte's back and her trembling shoulders.

"Is everything okay?"

He asked cautiously but didn't move from his seat.

"...Yes."

Charlotte's strained reply came as she struggled to hold back tears that betrayed her.

"Anyway, Daniel's girlfriend said you could come with me."

"Is that why you're avoiding looking at me? How sweet."

Leonid smiled softly and rose from the couch. He walked toward Charlotte with slow, deliberate steps. When he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her.

Charlotte's fingers were ice cold, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, while her heart pounded at an unbearable pace. She felt the pressure in her chest, yet she didn't move.

Leonid noticed her tense fists and gently reached out, loosening her stiff fingers while using his other arm to pat her head softly, as if trying to calm her.

"What's wrong now? Are you crying from embarrassment?"

Charlotte shut her eyes tightly, attempting to pull back the tears that had already spilled down her cheeks. If Leonid hadn't done what he did, she might have been able to endure what she'd been through today. But he made her feel something she hadn't felt in a long time.

"My God…"

Leonid murmured gently and turned Charlotte to face him. He wiped her tears away with his hand, his soft smile never leaving his lips as he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace.

"It's okay. You can cry as much as you need… there's no shame in that."

His eyes sparkled beneath his silver lashes, and he tilted his head toward her, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead before resting his head on top of hers.

Despite her body trembling in his arms, a strange warmth began to envelop her gently. Charlotte buried her face in Leonid's chest, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions, then clung to his shirt tightly, feeling something akin to the warmth of her father even if it was different.

"You!"

Leonid called her name with alarm, swiftly wrapping his arm around her waist and catching her before she collapsed.

"Are you okay?"

Leonid tried to gently lift her head to look at her face, but Charlotte clung to him tightly, as if refusing to let him see her in that moment.

"Alright, I won't force you."

Leonid sighed, then carefully picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. It was the first time he'd entered this room since confessing his feelings to her. He walked toward the double bed and laid her down gently.

As soon as her body touched the mattress, Charlotte exhaled shakily and let go of his shirt, burying her face into the pillow.

Leonid watched her for a moment before carefully pulling the blanket from under her and covering her with it.

"You can sleep. I'll leave."

He patted her head softly, then turned to go. But he stopped abruptly when she grabbed his hand.

"Don't go!"

Leonid turned back to her, seeing the tears still glistening in her eyes and the broken look on her face.

"Please, stay with me tonight… I know I'm being silly. What kind of woman asks a man she's just started dating to sleep beside her? But Leonid! I'm begging you, I'm not okay, I'm not okay at all!"

The trembling, pleading tone in Charlotte's voice made Leonid freeze for a moment, and an overwhelming sense of concern washed over him. Her shaking hand holding onto his caused a tight knot to form in his chest.

"I really hate myself!"

"Don't say such absurd things,"

Leonid replied firmly.

He gently pushed the blanket aside and leaned toward her until he was lying beside her. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her softly against his chest. From the beginning, he'd sensed that something was wrong, but he hadn't expected her to break down so completely once more.

"What happened this time?"

Leonid waited for her response, but Charlotte only sobbed quietly against his chest. He sighed, his hand moving gently along her back, trying to offer her as much comfort as he could before pulling the blanket over both of them.

Time passed slowly as Charlotte's emotions gradually began to settle. Leonid's soothing touch and embrace gave her a sense of safety, and the tears eventually stopped.

Leonid studied her tired features and rested his head on his free arm. Carefully, he lifted his hand from behind her back and tilted her chin up so their eyes could meet.

"Are you feeling better now?"

Charlotte stared into his eyes for a moment before frowning slightly.

"Yes…"

She lowered her gaze after answering, but Leonid's hand under her chin gently guided her face back up.

"I still want to talk to you, Charlotte."

His voice was calm but firm, and his piercing blue eyes seemed to look straight through her.

"I'll be honest. I want to understand what just happened."

Charlotte hesitated for a moment before replying quietly,

"Just… bottled up emotions."

"Bottled up emotions?"

Leonid echoed, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Yes,"

she said, trying to sound convincing, though it was clear she wasn't being truthful.

"I watched a sad movie earlier today. I'm overly emotional, so stop looking at me like that."

"Are you serious?"

"Very serious."

After crying so much, Charlotte felt a strange sense of relief. She quickly raised her hand to cover Leonid's eyes, trying to block his intense gaze, which felt like it could pierce through her.

Leonid smirked faintly at her reaction. First, a flimsy excuse, and now, an attempt to shield his eyes.

"Alright, alright…"

he said, pulling his hand away from her chin and removing hers from his eyes.

"I'll believe you,"

he added with a touch of coldness before lifting her hand to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to her palm.

"Hey, what are you doing!?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

Leonid replied nonchalantly, his breath warm against her hand. He smiled faintly, then slowly pulled her beneath him, hovering over her as his body loomed above hers.

His eyes remained fixed on hers, unwavering and direct, as his fingers intertwined with hers. His free hand rested beside her head, surrounding her with an intensity that was hard to ignore.